Winner at Life: Loser of Giveaways
- September 16th, 2009 9:33 am
I’ve hit rock bottom, guys. I’m scraping the bottom of the pond in the world of contests, as we speak. You see, while I am generally a winner at life, I’m THE LOSER of internet giveaways. It doesn’t matter what the prize or the situation. I’m losing.
In fact, it has gotten to the point that I will enter the most mundane of giveaways just to watch myself lose. Do you know what inspired the writing of this post? I was inches away from retweeting a twitter in order to lose a red carpet pack of Spanx similar to the ones given to people that attended the Emmys. FUCKING SPANX, y’all. It’s getting real up in here.
(Not that there’s anything wrong with Spanx, I, for one, am a fan of being squeezed within a half inch of my life in order to look nicely while wearing fancy clothes. It’s just that I never pictured myself entering an internet contest to win a set and watch myself lose.)
You know, I could blame my permanent losing on the fact that I am not overly competitive, as I think it is absolutely ridiculous when people put on their competitive pants and get all growly and “I’ll kick your ass” in your face.
Situation 1:
Random competitive person with twitching eye and loud voice: My team is going to kick your team’s ass!
Me: Good?
Situation 2:
Obsessively competitive soul jumping up and down like a 7 year old in need of a heavy dose of Ritalin: I’m gonna whip your ass, yo! I’m awesome at monopoly. I will dominate! I’m the best!! Eat my shorts!! You suck: I don’t!!
Me with a straight face: I really don’t care.
(By the way, should this situation arise in a board game, know that I will win whether I try or not. I’m just sort of kick ass at board games. I say that in a non-competive, matter-of-fact way. )
The thing is: The general attitude of the overly competitive makes me nauseous in a way that will cause me to ignore said overly competitive person and possibly black list them from my attention. Not that my attention is anything superb to desire or wish for, but it’s just hard for me to pay attention to anyone that takes winning too seriously. I mean, there are so many more things that are more important in life than winning a contest, giveaway or ballgame.
Like, for instance, generally winning at life. Being happy; being healthy; being the best you that you can be. Maybe the best you can be is an overly competitive person. I don’t know? But probably you do.
I’d like to pretend this post will wrap up nicely, but most likely it won’t. But I will tell you this. In my life I have been the winner of one giveaway, it was for a Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead backpack from a local, and since defunct, Video Rental Store located adjacently to the old movie theater in my time. (Poor location, perhaps?)
Anyway, I happened to win the backpack on my birthday. It was a large adult back pack with a picture of the cast on the front and the name of the movie. I thought it was THE best thing ever. I was six, and I’ve won nothing since then.
BUT, you see, these days losing giveaways is actually like winning for me. By losing whatever trinket you are peddling, I am actually winning. This seems like a good spot to insert a “suck it”. SUCK IT.
(You should especially suck it if you frequently win things. Except for you Casey, you’re oddly awesome at winning.)
September 16th, 2009 @ 9:37 am
I must admit – if you hang with Casey long enough, her luck will rub off on you. She might even get your pregnant.
DesignHER Momma´s last blog ..3 down, 1 to go…
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September 16th, 2009 at 12:01 pm
@DesignHER Momma,
Nooo! I need not be pregnant right now. But I would take some of her luck.
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September 21st, 2009 at 9:11 pm
@Shamelessly Sassy, Want it wrapped with a pretty bow? Emily is totally learning my ways. I’m so proud.
shmoosh fin plindy.´s last blog ..yummie muffin obliterators.
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September 16th, 2009 @ 10:43 am
I never win anything either. I also have no competitive spirit. Well, I shouldn’t say no, sometimes I try to muster up the attitude like I do care whether we win or lose, but generally I just end up making fun of competitive people. My sister on the other hand, got ALL the competitive spirit allotted for our family. At a baby shower (yes… competitiveness at a baby shower) we were playing a game where you couldn’t say “baby” or the name of the baby “lily” or you had to give up one of your beads. Well, I was talking to my Mom, and knowing that our cousin’s kid is named Lily, I was all “Oh what’s that kids name again… I can’t remember…” and my Mom says, “Lily” and I am in the middle of laughing and holding out my hand for the bead when my sister comes barreling over yelling, “YOU SAID IT! YOU SAID IT! I CALL IT!” and Moms like, “Uhm, Katie gets it, she was the one tricking me.” And my sister was all, “Yeah, but she didn’t call it. I called it first. Technically it’s my bead.” And so she went on for the rest of the time about how technically that was “her” bead, so finally I just gave them all to her.
Wow, way to write a novel as a comment. Sorry!
Katie´s last blog ..Circles
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September 16th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
@Katie,
Oh, Katie. I hate the “baby” game for just that reason. It is played at nearly every baby shower I attend. However, they are never clever enough to use beads and use clothes pins instead. So you always have some competitive soul, usually a 9 or 10 year old, yanking at your shirt.
Thanks for stopping by and leaving an epic comment!
Amanda
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September 16th, 2009 @ 12:01 pm
Dude, I don’t win all that much either. But when I do, it is usually pretty cool.
That doesn’t help you, does it?
Okay, how about this:
Contests suck. Winners suck. Losers rule. Losers are actually winners, but winners that *don’t* suck.
Better?
No?
Fuck.
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September 16th, 2009 at 12:07 pm
@Danielle-lee,
Sounds perfect! I’m off to go enter to win some more crap that I don’t want and won’t win. haha!
Amanda
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September 16th, 2009 @ 12:02 pm
LOL. I can’t believe I ended my comment w/ ‘fuck’.
Danielle-lee´s last blog ..Squirrel in my pants
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September 16th, 2009 @ 1:56 pm
I thought I was the only one. I feel the exact. same. way. I can’t win a damn giveaway if I was the only one who entered.
Gina´s last blog ..Not My Child! Monday
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September 16th, 2009 @ 2:45 pm
I HATE THE FUCKING BABY/WEDDING SHOWER CLOTHES PIN GAME.
Anyhoo, that backpack sounds like it was awesome. ALMOST as awesome as my Trapper Keeper with kittens on it, or the ALF notebook I bought at the start of 5th grade. ALMOST.
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September 16th, 2009 @ 6:07 pm
It’s a shame you don’t enter my giveaways! I usually only have about ten entries, so your chances would be good!
Jillian´s last blog ..Why I need more dogs
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September 16th, 2009 @ 6:11 pm
Hah! These Internet contests have been bad for me, not because I’m competitive, but because I’m compulsive and I get sucked in. Yesterday I tweeted for a $10 Subway card, and I don’t like Subway. I did win a $500 giftcard once, so my monkey brain thinks that it will happen again. I need an intervention.
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tweets that mention shamelessly sassy | blog archives | winner at life: loser of giveaways -- topsy.com
September 16th, 2009 @ 7:53 pm
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September 16th, 2009 @ 8:16 pm
I feel your pain I always win the stuff I don’t really want- like a really tiny, tiny, tiny bikini. I’ve had two kids- hello.
I just won a $10 gift card to Dollar General – we don’t have a Dollar General within 100’s of miles. Anyone want a $10 GC to Dollar General?
Zoe Right´s last blog ..Up on the Pedestal or is it the Cross, I forget?
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September 17th, 2009 @ 1:36 am
I rarely win but then I rarely enter. I did win $1000 in the lotto long when we desperately needed the money. I figured that sucked up the rest of my life’s quanity of luck.
JaniceNW´s last blog ..Nursing Board Nonsense
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September 17th, 2009 @ 9:04 am
I am the exact same way, I NEVER win anything!! When it comes to contests I just laugh at all of the ass-holes that are competitive because whats the point when you KNOW you’re going to lose!
Courtney´s last blog ..NYC is the place to be!
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September 18th, 2009 @ 3:15 pm
I think people put giveaways on the blogs and then enter themselves under a different name and win it themselves. That way no one wins.
the Provident Woman´s last blog ..What a Waste of Postage
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September 19th, 2009 @ 1:44 am
Competition is good for the soul, or so they said. I had mine removed so how I would know.
Jack´s last blog ..Talk Like a Pirate Day
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September 21st, 2009 @ 9:10 pm
Maybe you could totally buy off that Casey chick, have her rig a contest for you or something. I’m sure that would totally work.
And yes. Emily took all my luck. And I got her pregnant, along with three other women.
I’m like a rabbits foot with whiskers instead of soft fluffy fur.
shmoosh fin plindy.´s last blog ..yummie muffin obliterators.
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