Five White Hairs and a List
- December 2nd, 2008 5:38 pm
I keep trying to write posts, but mostly, I fail. I’ll have some idea about what I want to write about and two paragraphs in, it just doesn’t pan out. It sort of ends up in a self absorbed whine fest where suddenly I hate my writing; I hate the way I use words; I hate the English language; and eventually, I just get pissed off that wordpress is always asking me to update. So in lieu of a post in paragraphs, I’m posting in a list.
- The girl crush that I have had on Pink for roughly 7 years now is as strong as ever. I love Pink. I love her new song ‘Sober’ almost as much as I love every other song she has written like ‘Dear Mr. President’ and ‘Family Portrait‘.
- I keep getting white hair. I’m going white. When I first discovered them, I thought I was going gray, but further inspection proved that I am actually going white. I keep plucking the hairs and telling myself it will stop. But it hasn’t. I’m whiting. How am I going white? I’m only 23. I’m blaming this on stress.
- Jokingly blaming your daughter’s recent career choice (Thief) on Hannah Montana will cause an influx of hateful email from people who can’t spell. Why do these people not just leave comments? Quit emailing me about your support of Hannah Montana. Seriously. “Hannah Montana iz kewl. Ur website sux.” Um, no: Hannah Montana sucks… just like your mom.
- I’m toying with the idea of making a penis out of Christmas lights and displaying it in my front yard for the viewing pleasure of my uptight neighbors. I’ll let you know how that goes (with pictures, of course). If you don’t know me in real life, you might think I’m joking. If you know me in real life, you know that I am not AT ALL joking. This is going to happen.
- I’ve had heartburn for at least three days now. What the hell?
- I spend a lot of time on Twitter. Are you on twitter? Follow me. (Hi, my name is Amanda and sometimes I am needy!)
- I am tired. Not physically tired, but emotionally and mentally tired. Does this ever end? The being mentally tired? I think it has something to do with the umpteen power point presentations that I have to watch per day. To hell with power point, I’d rather do crosswords.
- I got a fancy new haircut. It isn’t necessarily new or fancy. I’ve had to haircut before. It’s just a change from growing my hair out. I would post a picture, but I hate taking pictures of myself and posting. Also, because HELLO! I have at least four white hairs that I haven’t pulled from my head yet.
- I have a three year old that I am five minutes away from listing on Craigslist or Ebay or maybe even Etsy. She was homemade, after all.
- The top of my Christmas tree is broken.
I know sad and smiley faces are sometimes cheesy. But seriously, sad face! Big fat sad face at my broken Christmas tree! Big fat sad face!
December 2nd, 2008 @ 5:46 pm
Oh. Big fat sad face for your tree. That sucks!
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December 2nd, 2008 @ 5:55 pm
Mentally tired. I understand that. I knew having a kid would be difficult. I knew that this SAHM shit was probably going to be hard what with the cooking and cleaning, ass wiping and lack of adult conversation but I didn’t expect it all to be this much of a pain in the ass. And GOOD LORD what I would give for more than a 3 hour stretch of sleep.
Also I totally share your crush on Pink.
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December 2nd, 2008 @ 6:09 pm
Oh-the white hairs! I am 22 and I have them too, with no earthly idea why. My husband refuses to admit that he sees them, but I just know they are there. I’m sorry about your tree!
Elizabeths last blog post..Eric posts on the dog blog!
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December 2nd, 2008 @ 6:19 pm
I had gray hair at 16. I blame it on genetics.
“Family Portrait” gets me every time. Go Pink!!
NGSs last blog post..45 x 365 #33
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December 2nd, 2008 @ 6:44 pm
I saw your Christmas penis tweet, but knew I’d never be able to adequately retell the story in 140 characters (I’m verbose: sue me). When we were still new to the neighbourhood (the whole ‘hood was new: the house across the road was empty for a year), my brother (17) & I (23) decided to go for a walk in the snow late on Christmas Eve. By the time we got home, the driveway of the house across the road was blissfully covered in unadulterated snow. I suggested we use our feet to spell out “Merry Xmas” (it wasn’t a wide driveway).
I set to work on Merry while Bro worked on Xmas. I thought. When I finished, I turned around to see him standing there with the biggest, shit-eating grin on his face, so proud of his artwork. Xmas had been replaced with Penis (well, PENIS!!!).
The next morning, Mom opened the blinds so we could watch the snow fall while opening gifts. She gasped and went, “Oh my god! Someone wrote ‘Merry Penis’ across the road!” She turned just in time to see Bro and I trying desperately to stifle giggles. I think that may be one of my favourite Christmas and/or Bro memories. Thanks for the reminder.
Chibi Jeebss last blog post..What a weekend!
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December 2nd, 2008 @ 7:04 pm
If you successfully sell your 3 year old, would you please let us know how much you get for her? I have one I might be looking to offload as well.
Also the Christmas Penis? Awesome! Looking forward to the pictures! Hope you have the “balls” to do it! *rimshot* Come on! You know it had to be said!
Jen Tuckers last blog post..December? Seriously?
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December 2nd, 2008 @ 8:50 pm
i love pink too, i heard the sober song and i was amazed…she is an amazing writer …..love the words, i came home and looked them up !!
feeners last blog post..Keeping Kids Out of the Middle – A Book Review
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December 2nd, 2008 @ 8:50 pm
Um, I would probably not so much care for the Christmas Light Penis. But hey, I don’t live in your neighborhood, so whatevah. But what would be really funny? A Christmas Light Vagina. And the really funny part would be, people would have to stare at it a long long time to figure it out. And if they can’t, you could come out of your house and just shout to their half-open window on the Volvo, “IT’S A VAGINA!!! MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!”
THAT would be a Christmas memory.
Texan Mamas last blog post..Got Opinions? Check.
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December 2nd, 2008 @ 8:58 pm
First, you wrote an awesome post, list or no, pretty good stuff there.
Second, would you believe I only heard Dear Mr. President for the first time in October, like this year? I was instantly fell in love and I ran out the next day to buy the CD. Pink is amazing indeed.
Lastly, I also started getting the white hairs around age 23 and I faithfully pulled them out when they were millimeters long. Now there are a few more of them and I’ve totally given in to them, but I am nearly 38 so it’s kind pointless to keep fighting it!
Kels last blog post..Conversation in the car this afternoon**
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December 2nd, 2008 @ 9:00 pm
Duh, I wrote: “I was instantly fell in love and I ran out the next day to buy the CD. Pink is amazing indeed.”
The song is so moving I have trouble speaking or thinking or typing, or even proofreading evidently.
Kels last blog post..Conversation in the car this afternoon**
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December 2nd, 2008 @ 9:00 pm
Hannah Montana DOES suck. You’re correct on that, white haired lady.
Just kidding – about the white haired part.
Grey Streets last blog post..Thursday Thirteen (6th Edition)
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December 2nd, 2008 @ 9:05 pm
Why are you not on Plurk anymore? We miss you…and I deleted my Twitter account. Also, I get the writer’s block – it sucketh. And, if you do the penis, make sure Allie’s outside smoking the Halloween cigs.
Anglophile Football Fanatics last blog post..The Bigger The Better The Tighter the Sweater
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December 2nd, 2008 @ 9:34 pm
I had grays in high school. Being a guy, the way I look at it is it can turn any color it wants. You cant color what you dont have.
above average joes last blog post..Twenty Years And Some Self Assurance
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December 2nd, 2008 @ 9:39 pm
Seriously, you and me need to drink, my sister!
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December 2nd, 2008 @ 11:23 pm
Sorry about all of the Hannah Montana emails…I just get kind of out of control when her immaculate name gets rakes through the coals…well…stage name…you know what I mean.
This site sux!
morethananelectricians last blog post..“Taking Care” of Unfriendly Co-Workers
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December 2nd, 2008 @ 11:32 pm
LOL! You crack me up… I’m following you on Twitter! As for finding that white hairs well, Everybody Has Those Days!
You should keep them in, I bet they’re pretty…and I bet they would look great with some pink streaks! Or purple! Or blue! Or green!
Renes last blog post..Cold Turkey
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December 3rd, 2008 @ 7:46 am
I totally love that bullet point about Hannah Montana. Made me laugh. Which is hard to do when I haven’t even had my coffee yet.
As for the white hair? As least you HAVE hair!
lceels last blog post..Tis the season for ….
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December 3rd, 2008 @ 8:02 am
I’ve decided that I HATE 3. Totally hate it. My son is lucky that my daughter survived beyond 3 and we have proof that it does, indeed, get easier. BUT, oy! He tests me every step of the way.
Although, I must say that right now he’s sick, so I’m having flashbacks of my cute, innocent little boy. This will allow his passage beyond the devil possessed stage into 4, which is bliss.
Good luck!
Ashlie- Mommycosms last blog post..Wordless Wednesday: Magic of Christmas
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December 3rd, 2008 @ 8:04 am
Well, you could be pregnant if you are having heartburn you know.
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December 3rd, 2008 @ 8:16 am
I’m already following you on Twitter!
I love Pink too. Family portrait is awesome. I like “Like a pill” (or whatever the name of it is) too. She is fabulous.
Jennifer @ The Cubicle’s Backporchs last blog post..Black Friday Cats
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December 3rd, 2008 @ 9:06 am
Pink rocks! Hannah Montana sux!
hehe
Seriously though, it’s ok to be in a funk…life is kind of crazy right now. Can’t wait to see pics of the ‘xmas’ lighting…can you get a pic of your neighbors faces when they see it…maybe like a neighborhood unveiling, that would be priceless…
~K
kels last blog post..My Letter to Santa
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December 3rd, 2008 @ 10:39 am
Nexium is a wonderful invention. And just died my hair because 3 kids under three has turned me gray faster than I can say DYE.
Stephanies last blog post..Twilight Christmas Giveaway
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December 3rd, 2008 @ 10:52 am
I agree – I loved this post! Especially the bit about Hannah Montana. Can’t wait to see pictures of your penis. Shall I rephrase that? Nah…
Susans last blog post..Distraction
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December 3rd, 2008 @ 10:52 am
Seriously. Hannah Montana is the biggest nerd around. I just don’t get it.
Kats last blog post..Many Thanks
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December 3rd, 2008 @ 11:58 am
Sorry about your tree. You can borrow mine. I don’t have white hairs….or gray ones. Am I not allowed in the cool white haired ladies club? As for selling your 3 year old..make sure you have a No Refunds clause in there.
)
Also…Hannah Montanna annoys me. LOL
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December 3rd, 2008 @ 12:13 pm
I totally need to see a picture of a penis in Christmas lights on your yard. SERIOUSLY. I think that’s awesome.
Someone put the neighborhood entrance reindeer into compromising positions last year, and I laughed so hard. I just know the old people in our neighborhood who run the HOA all had heart attacks.
Great list.
Rheas last blog post..East of the Mississippi
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December 3rd, 2008 @ 2:27 pm
I now have too many white hairs to pull out. If I plucked them all I would be nearly bald. I blame my youngest child, who is by the way, a huge Hannah Montana fan. And I hate her too. If you figure out the penis lights, I want to get a diagram so that I can see how long it takes my MIL to notice. heh!!
justmylifes last blog post..Give Me!!!
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December 3rd, 2008 @ 4:28 pm
LOL I so want a penis made out of christmas lights! That ROCKS.
Also, let’s do a joint listing for 3 year olds on etsy: 2 for the price of one.
The exhaustion thing: blame the kid. And powerpoint.
jessicas last blog post..Stuff
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December 3rd, 2008 @ 5:07 pm
i live in a constant state of mental exhaustion. sigh.
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December 3rd, 2008 @ 6:07 pm
I just thought you should know that I’m anxiously awaiting the lighting of the Christmas penis.
Lottifishs last blog post..Budget Holiday
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December 3rd, 2008 @ 6:36 pm
hehehehehe
big sad face!! yup…
sounds amusing!
UrbanVoxs last blog post..Drinks are on me!!
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December 3rd, 2008 @ 9:01 pm
I love Pink, too. Is it bad that my 4-year-old walks around singing “So What,” specifically the line, “na na na na na na, I wanna start a fight” at the top of her lungs? Nah. As long as she doesn’t sing it at her preschool, right?
Gibbys last blog post..Yes, Virginia, There Is a Santa Claus
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December 3rd, 2008 @ 9:27 pm
I so know what you mean about being mentally tired. I am mentally exhausted and I have been since my mat leave ended and I had to go back to work.
I love Pink also. She’s awesome.
Melis last blog post..Jet Black Ninja lurking through the office
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December 3rd, 2008 @ 9:59 pm
I totally need to see your penis christmas light spectacular. I expect pictures, you know.
Jessas last blog post..I Love Feeling Understood
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December 3rd, 2008 @ 10:36 pm
Can we get a 3-for-1 with my 2 homemade girls?
Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing]s last blog post..Wordless 12.3.8: Eyes
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December 3rd, 2008 @ 11:15 pm
LMAO!!! I love the comment about Hannah Montana! Classic!!
dcokequeens last blog post..You Fembots have nothin’ on me!!
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December 3rd, 2008 @ 11:37 pm
heartburn=pregnant
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December 4th, 2008 @ 8:49 am
Love the Etsy comment.
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December 4th, 2008 @ 10:26 am
Last year when I bought our Christmas tree I decided we needed one that was about five feet tall, but the place only had four- and six-foot trees. Then I found a six-foot tree with the top broken off and convinced them to sell it for me for super cheap. When I got the tree home, we realized that five feet was super short for the tree and that six feet would be much better, and that the tree looked weird without its top. So Torsten screw the top back onto the tree. It looked great and nobody ever knew. Just a thought.
Jesss last blog post..Tightening our belts
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December 4th, 2008 @ 2:06 pm
Not only should you post pictures of your Christmas penis, you should have instructions. Nothing says Merry Christmas like a penis made of christmas lights, or tinsel or..whatever. LOL
Lynettes last blog post..Pop Quiz
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December 4th, 2008 @ 6:41 pm
You know, I’m going white vs. grey myself. I made George pull out a super long one (well, okay my hair isn’t long anymore) last night as I freaked out.
Good luck with your penis statue for Christmas. I much look forward to the pictures of your neighbors standing with flaming torches and pitchforks in your front yard. That shall be a riot!
Jessicas last blog post..Giveaway #4: It’s Super Fantastic — Trust Me!
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December 4th, 2008 @ 7:42 pm
Gaviscon and prilosec. My husband lives by them.
lisas last blog post..The Quarter Is Over And I Am Tired.
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December 4th, 2008 @ 9:11 pm
Been a LONG time, but I am seriously trying to catch up on all the my fav bloggers.
Both writers block or self critism and Going white SUCKS most of ALL.
I definitely want to see the penis light up thingie – that is going to take some serious creativity…first the color of the lights then the shape … it has to have a natural shape or you won’t be able to figure out what it is, unless you use a TON of lights or maybe a cardboard cut out backdrop. Yeah, I’m troubleshooting this for ya.
My girlys love Hannah, and she isn’t as bad as most – but I won’t rag you for cutting her down…she is starting to P me OFF with the publicity lately.
Okay, heartburn … you won’t like this – not at all, but try it! This will work. Take 1 tbs (or 2) of apple cidar vinegar, you can mix it with water, but easier to just take it but definitely follow with LOTS of water (very acidic could hurt your teeth). This will neutralize your tum-tum. It’s gross, but Tums/Rolaids don’t do shit for reoccuring burn – this will make it go away. Then add more fiber into your diet! It’ll help ya.
Oh … you can add my 7 & 6 year old to your auction. They are seriously on my last nerve … or we can drive them to the orphanage … I have a friend who tells her kid that all of the time.
Melissa from Pittsburghs last blog post..My Job is KILLING me
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December 5th, 2008 @ 11:05 am
the white hair is your punishment for liking pink.
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December 5th, 2008 @ 3:27 pm
You totally have to take pictures of your penis lights!
I hate uptight neighbors, which is why I live out in the country on several acres of land, keeping me far, far away.
MamaWises last blog post..High Efficiency Heaven
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December 15th, 2008 @ 10:46 am
“Hannah Montana sucks… just like your mom.”
This is possibly my favorite thing ever written.
Stephanies last blog post..World’s Best Parent RIGHT HERE
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