My Daughter the Thief
- November 30th, 2008 6:03 pm
Recently, I began noticing certain items missing around our home. I nonchalantly shrugged it off, because to be quite honest, I am not the most organized person. The items could have easily been misplaced when I was moving things around. Most likely, I thought that they were in the city dump residing inside of my car.
I kept myself in missing item oblivion until one day last week when I surveyed the contents of Allie’s new purse.
This guitar-shaped, Hannah Montana purse of doom has been glued to her side since she convinced one of her grandmother’s to purchase it for her on one of the many shopping trips she coerces innocent people to take her on. When my covet worthy mascara went missing along with my favorite lipgloss, I decided it was time to take a survey.
Inside of the hussy bag, I found:
- $15 dollars (stolen from her dad’s wallet)
- a cordless phone handset (stolen from our basement)
- Swoon worthy Mascara (Stolen from my make-up bag)
- 30 pink index cards (stolen from my array of school supplies)
- one silver hoop earring (stolen from the jewelry box in my bathroom)
- an old cell phone (stolen from mystery place?)
- Awesome Nail polish
- 3 Crayola crayons (yellow, green, pink. They actually belonged to her.)
- half a piece of red construction paper
Out of all of the items, I was only originally dumbfounded about where she had scored the cash. While people give Allie ones all of the time, she never manages to score fives or tens. So the $15 was a mystery to me.
So I asked her, “Allie, where did you get the money?”
“Dad’s wallet,” she answered nonchalantly, as if I was wasting her time with my conversation.
“Allie! You know you aren’t supposed to take things out of people’s wallets or purses.”
“Listen, Mom: If he doesn’t want people to take his money, he isn’t supposed to leave it out.”
Jeebus! I thought to myself. I have the makings of a criminal on my hands. She steals money out of her Dad’s wallet and it’s his fault for leaving it within her reach? I suppose she is somewhat right, but still. We, of course, had a serious talk about theft after that.
However, I’m almost positive that as far as the blame game goes. I am marking this one down as the fault of Disney’s personal Hussy, Miss Hannah Montana. Everyone knows that everything is her fault anyway. The failing economy. CHECK! Mischievous children. CHECK!
This one is all on her.
November 30th, 2008 @ 6:10 pm
amazing how quickly they learn where the cash is. i had a friend who’s kiddo went after the credit cards every time ….
enders last blog post..Welcome to the Machine
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November 30th, 2008 @ 6:31 pm
I’m missing a CZ stud earring. Did you happen to see that in there?
Rhis last blog post..Friday Bullets: Nothing Special Edition
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November 30th, 2008 @ 6:48 pm
Kids are so funny. I didn’t start taking $$ from my dad’s wallet until I actually NEEDED it
You know, at like, 16. -snickers-
Of course it’s STUPID HANNAH MONTANA’S FAULT.
Heathers last blog post..Ghiradelli, NaBloPoMo, Snow, and Anxiety
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November 30th, 2008 @ 7:22 pm
I remember doing the same thing. And getting busted. Several times. I was a child delinquent.
Tammys last blog post..Smurfland Lowdown
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November 30th, 2008 @ 7:48 pm
That little stinker. Hilarious.
My little one has sticky fingers also. He takes those latex gloves from the doctor’s office. And all those paper coasters from Chili’s. And anything that’s not nailed in place and he can put in his pocket.
Rheas last blog post..If Remy was President…
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November 30th, 2008 @ 8:01 pm
That’s the mascara I use and swoon worthy is the perfect description!
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November 30th, 2008 @ 8:15 pm
I surfed in from the Blog 365 feed…
Not that stealing is EVER appropriate, but I think most kids go through that phase to one extent or another… When I was 7 or 8, I stole a small bottle of perfume from someone and a small 3-ring binder from someone else. There may have been more, but I doubt it… because…
I still feel guilty about it, especially the perfume… And I’m 33 now.
Rebecca (Ramblings by Reba)s last blog post..Weekly Winner (yes, singular)
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November 30th, 2008 @ 8:18 pm
haha – sometimes their simple logic is enough to leave us speechless…seriously, where do they come up with this stuff?
At least she has good taste….
~K
Kels last blog post..Unexpected Encounter
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November 30th, 2008 @ 8:29 pm
This is hilarious. Our 2 1/2 year old became a thief tonight. We took her and her sister to Claire’s to get their ears pierced and then on to see Santa. We noticed before we made it to see Santa that she had stolen a compact hairbrush. We had to see Santa first and then we returned the stolen goods.
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November 30th, 2008 @ 8:30 pm
you can’t blame everything on Hanna!!!
don;t forget Dora the Explorer (or the latina whore as Vic would call her!!!)
UrbanVoxs last blog post..Work in Progress
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November 30th, 2008 @ 9:06 pm
Knew it. I just knew it was Hannah Montana’s fault. (Have I mentioned I hate her?)
Jessicas last blog post..I’m Getting Excited!
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November 30th, 2008 @ 9:54 pm
I think stealing is a kid phase, but it’s good for her to get caught and get taught. I took candy from a grocery store once and my mom went to town on me for that. I felt like the worst little human being on the planet. Later I stole some horse toy from a friend and felt so guilty I ended up confessing and returning it of my own volition. See? Mama’s training worked! Or at least, I think I did. Anyway, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Kristans last blog post..Foto Friday: Meet Gatsby
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November 30th, 2008 @ 9:55 pm
OH! And I love Hannah. Disney would never let Hannah steal something and get away with it, so I’m pretty sure it’s not her fault. Those Nickoledeon kids, however…
(Okay, originally a joke, but now that I think about it, Little Spears, aka Zoey 101 from Nick, isn’t exactly the best role model for young girls…)
Kristans last blog post..Dreams and growth
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November 30th, 2008 @ 10:10 pm
i am also missing some earrings.
We blame everything on the cat.
That purse is HUGE!
ReformingGeeks last blog post..Worst Gifts EVER!
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November 30th, 2008 @ 11:19 pm
Blame the Preisdent…these are tough economic times.
morethananelectricians last blog post..Part 6-Body Language
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November 30th, 2008 @ 11:25 pm
“He shouldn’t leave it out.”
Fair enough, Allie, fair enough.
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December 1st, 2008 @ 1:49 am
I totally blame Miley for more than that. Including GayDay at Disney. And no I am not kidding..
http://marcywrites.com/2008/10/05/i-am-blaming-miley-cyrusi-am-blaming-miley-cyrus/
Sounds like she could be a great spy someday with skills like this…ya know smuggling secrets across enemy borders in her subtle guitar purse!
The Glamorous Lifes last blog post..Uggs. My ticket to heaven.
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December 1st, 2008 @ 1:52 am
Bad link! Here is the right one.
http://marcywrites.com/2008/10/05/i-am-blaming-miley-cyrus/
Sorry to hijack comments…but it was such a coincidence!
The Glamorous Lifes last blog post..Uggs. My ticket to heaven.
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December 1st, 2008 @ 5:26 am
Oh my GOSH she is the funniest kid ever. Well a thief to boot but hella funny. I may have to try that line on my hubby if he ever leaves his wallet *out.* LOL
And that purse is too cute
The Flirty Girls last blog post..A Fun New Contest: Name this Bride!
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December 1st, 2008 @ 7:11 am
I knew that Miley Cyrus was no good!
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December 1st, 2008 @ 7:33 am
Wow, that is a bit nuts. She stole some good stuff!
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December 1st, 2008 @ 8:16 am
I had to chuckle. In the two minutes I had to myself over this last weekend, I watched an episode of CSI:New York in which Mac Taylor, the lead character, explains to one of his minions that “That’s the thing about pickpockets. They think you’re carrying THEIR money.” For some reason, Allie’s attitude about her Dad’s wallet and it’s vulnerability if ‘left out’ kinda brought that sharply to mind. Funny. But not funny, either.
lceels last blog post..Out of the Blue
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December 1st, 2008 @ 8:20 am
I knew the Hannah Montana obsession wasn’t good for the economy!
Jennifer @ The Cubicle’s Backporchs last blog post..An e-mail between ‘friends’.
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December 1st, 2008 @ 9:14 am
She is too smart and sooo right.. LOL
Kims last blog post..Weekly Winners
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December 1st, 2008 @ 10:58 am
oh the things I have to look forward too…thanks for warning me!!!!
Laura from the Finges last blog post..
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December 1st, 2008 @ 11:11 am
Well, we could never get our daughters together, seeing as mine has that same purse (also purchased by a weak granny) that has become full of items that I know do not belong to her! Oh, they start out so young these days…
Gibbys last blog post..…But the Fire is So Delightful
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December 1st, 2008 @ 12:03 pm
OMG, That. Is. Hilarious. I don’t know how you don’t bust out laughing when she says things like that, even though you know the actual topic is a serious one. I’m glad you had that talk with her after! I can’t believe she stole actual MONEY!!!
Grey Streets last blog post..Thursday Thirteen (6th Edition)
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December 1st, 2008 @ 12:28 pm
Wow. She has better stuff (and more money) in her purse than I do in mine.
Colleen – Mommy Always Winss last blog post..“Zen and the art of ice fishing is an oxymoron.”
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December 1st, 2008 @ 1:24 pm
I gave my Dad that same excuse well into my teens. I also spent a lot of time grounded.
Hillys last blog post..Snackie Sunday #70: Fight!
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December 1st, 2008 @ 1:57 pm
My boys had a bit of a klepto phase, too. Once I discovered their “stash”, anytime anything turned up missing, I would head immediately for their closet.
Among the things I found:
cigarette lighters (oops)
steak knives (I swear I’m a good mommy, those kids are just so sneaky)
any cup that was left on the living room coffee table.
salt shaker
everything else the little sneakers could get their hands on.
I used to have to pat them down/frisk them before we left the grocery store as well.
And I would blame it on Hannah Montana, but they would die before having anything to do with “Hannah Mon-Boring”
Eternal Sunshines last blog post..FINALLY – The Weekend Update
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December 1st, 2008 @ 2:23 pm
Let’s all pray she doesn’t don on a blonde wig while increasing her extracurricular activities. An intervention will for sure be needed!
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December 1st, 2008 @ 5:41 pm
It HAS to be Hannah Montana’s fault. My sister, the #1 HM fangirl, has the same HM purse and hides the exact same crap in there. Something comes up missing? My mom checks the bag and sure enough..
ashs last blog post..I Couldn’t Resist
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December 1st, 2008 @ 10:51 pm
Oh how funny. But mom, it takes a lot of stuff to fill that new HM bag. She is adorable from her pictures.
kathleens last blog post..My Favorite Things . . .
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December 2nd, 2008 @ 6:54 am
oh her comment is soo funny. At least she is honest about it.
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December 2nd, 2008 @ 10:23 am
My two year old knows who “Hantana” is but yet we’ve never really watched her. I think there’s something subliminal in her stuff. If nothing else, it’s all her fault because she’s everywhere!
BTW, for you and your readers, I’ve got a Twilight giveaway going on over at my blog so check it out — deadline to enter is Thursday!
Stephanies last blog post..Twilight Christmas Giveaway
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December 2nd, 2008 @ 12:31 pm
My 37 year old son told me just last week that he used to “whack” money from my wallet when he was in school and college. I did not know it at all. This conversation was on the occasion of a discussion on the need for economizing now, when I was confronted with my own ignorance!
rummusers last blog post..Giving And Receiving.
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December 3rd, 2008 @ 7:55 am
I am laughing about how great her choices were! Seriously, what else could she need? Makeup, nail polish, a phone, cash… the index cards and crayons are obviously for writing down preschool boys’ phone numbers… she knew exactly what should go in a purse. She is SO advanced!
Denises last blog post..It’s that time again!
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December 3rd, 2008 @ 7:57 am
OH… and the earring? My guess is that is for her navel piercing, as soon as she swipes the car keys and a little more cash to pay for it!
Denises last blog post..It’s that time again!
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December 3rd, 2008 @ 3:03 pm
I have had to return a few toys to rightful owners lately thanks to my little three year old clepto.
White Hot Magiks last blog post..Infinite Grace 2008
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December 5th, 2008 @ 9:17 am
My son stole some gum from a store at about 3 yrs old and I of course told him it was wrong and not to do it anymore. So, the next time we went to the store he did it again. I made him take it back in and tell the giant working at the liquor counter that he stole it. He never took gum again. LOL He moved on to rubber gloves at the doctors office but soon that passed too.
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November 16th, 2009 @ 6:36 am
I am on Allie’s side, if she has got such a cute purse then why would she compromise to keep it empty or filled with ordinary things. At least, she has not given this stuff to any one or sold. I really enjoyed the whole post and funny comments.
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