Maturity: It’s what’s for Breakfast.
- November 25th, 2008 12:37 am
Since Allie was born, well, since she started talking, Adam and I decided that we probably needed to quit dropping the F bomb so frequently.
It wasn’t really something we dropped in public. It was more like a to each other type of thing. To enhance the WTF value of a story. How can you have a broad spectrum of WTF value without the F? You can’t. Without the F-bomb, you just have the WT. WHAT THE? is not effective enough for me. I need the f-bomb on the end of it to truly embrace the happenings of my life.
Anyway, in a sick resort to being able to yell fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck in the way that Michael Scott from The Office might yell it, we started cursing in acronyms.
It’s very teenagerish. Very text messagish. Very -ish, in general.
One prime example of it is screaming BMFD. Big mother f*cking deal. (I’m not scared of dropping the f-bomb on my blog. But I am scared of the loads of pron spam I usually get after doing so.)
How can you use BMFD, you ask?
“We’re out of canned tomatoes,” says Adam to me.
“BMFD! BMFD!” I scream in return, because seriously, big mother f*cking deal.
Another great cursing acronym floating around our house is TMFS. TMFS stand for Tou- Mother f*cking-Che. It’s touche with mother f*cking stuck in the middle. Classy, I know. And sure, touche is spelled with a ‘c’, but adding the S to the acronym instead of the c is way funnier.
Example of usage:
“Your facial hair looks stupid,” I say to Adam
“TMFS!”
Second example of usage:
“Why can’t you put down the toilet seat,” I ask Adam.
“Why can’t you stand up and pee,” he asks in return.
“TMFS!”
And yeah. That is my life in a nutshell. I’ll be spending the remainder of my night shining my mother of the year trophy, because clearly, I deserve one.
Tou-mother f*cking-che!
November 25th, 2008 @ 12:42 am
Every once in a while I’ll say “WTF mate” … which is from a weird video my old roommate showed me … otherwise I’d rather just break out the power of the big words!
Sarahs last blog post..The power of words
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November 25th, 2008 @ 12:59 am
HAHAHA!
You’re my kind of people.
Kats last blog post..WW- Follow Me
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November 25th, 2008 @ 1:11 am
Ahhh … I knew there was SOMETHING good about having 3 teenagers. I am now free to swear again whenever I want. Because there’s nothing they haven’t heard and said themselves. I do still clean it up around my MIL. The ol’ bitch hates me enough as it is without giving her an excuse for more!
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November 25th, 2008 @ 1:35 am
You crack me up, that was hilarious.
Siobhans last blog post..Days Like This
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November 25th, 2008 @ 4:04 am
We swear in our house. I wish we didn’t, but we do. One of my husband’s more common words is ’shite’ as in “I have to take a shite” or to the baby “Have you shite in your nappy?” I said “Can’t you just say poop!? She’ll be saying shite to everyone (read my mother) and I’ll never hear the end of it!” Well, she never got her tongue around ’shite’ so she improvised with ’shout’ It made us laugh, but still got me a lecture from my mother. Just today, my husband pointed out to me that he is talking like a toddler and saying he needs to poop. I actually think I prefer the word shite. Especially when the speaker is over 12.
Emmas last blog post..Emma (sort of) reviews Twilight.
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November 25th, 2008 @ 6:44 am
you are a strong woman…i will probably curse in my kids, because i can’t even control myself around my nephew! my defense is i work with plumbers. :/
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November 25th, 2008 @ 8:50 am
The other day at a b-day party I watched a 4yr old little boy stomp out of the house muttering “she’s still on the FREAKIN’ phone” with as much pissed-off-edness as he could muster. Apparantely you are not alone in your endevor to rephrase the f-bomb. I don’t say it so much around the girls…but then again I get my fill of saying it at work so that usually helps.
~K
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November 25th, 2008 @ 8:59 am
TMFS is totally MFA (awesome)
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November 25th, 2008 @ 9:20 am
You mean you DON’T stand up to pee?
lceels last blog post..Back to being me
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November 25th, 2008 @ 9:26 am
Good Luck!
I grew up Baptist. Cursing was not allowed so that’s kind of stuck inside me but I’ll go through spurts of letting a few words slip out. I have to be careful or they will slip out at all the wrong times.
ReformingGeeks last blog post..Screw me once, shame on you…..
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November 25th, 2008 @ 9:36 am
Yeah, I was using “Sugar Honey Ice Tea” until my smart 1st grade figured out what it stood for.
I think I’m going to learn to cuss in German? French? Russian?
That should get me through at least until middle school, right?
Ashlie- Mommycosms last blog post..My life, in bullets
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November 25th, 2008 @ 9:43 am
Yeah, I’m one of those people who doesn’t have a filter — you know, that thing that let’s you speak one way around one group of people (your parents) and another way around another group (your friends). SO that’s gotten me into trouble (with the parents, mostly) a few times. But also I worked with children in high school and college, so I had to censor myself a lot. Mostly I don’t use “bad” words anymore, which gives people a certain, not entirely accurate impression of my personality, but that’s okay. The only thing is, I say “sh*t” a lot. Stub my toe? Sh*t! Missed a catch in flag football? Sh*t! Forgot how to play euchre? Sh*t! And that, unfortunately, gets me some side glances from my boyfriend’s parents.
Kristans last blog post..[Twenty-Somewhere] Episode 4: What do you want?
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November 25th, 2008 @ 9:51 am
Reminds me of Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, when Cate Blanchett’s character is always going, “Effing this!” etc. and he asks, “Why don’t you just cuss like normal people?”
Her response? “I’m trying to get out of the habit before I have my fucking baby!”
(I like to drop the eff-bomb every chance I get. Although not at class, church, or work. Mostly.)
We use “meffing” a lot – used to be mfing as in motherfucking but then ran together when you write it down…meffing freshmen!
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November 25th, 2008 @ 10:09 am
Wow. All this F-bomb dropping is just re-god-damn-diculous!
Colleen – Mommy Always Winss last blog post..How to completely trash your house while trying to do something productive
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November 25th, 2008 @ 10:10 am
This is where my various substitutes for the F-Bomb (which I adore) come in…
What the FLUFF.
Or, like when you stub your toe into the refrigerator for the twelfth time this week, “Grrrrrrrr…. FOO FIGHTER!”
sarahs last blog post..Everything Tastes Better As Cheesecake
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November 25th, 2008 @ 10:17 am
*SNORT!* That is classic. You are so my (OUR – my husband is also just such a doof) kind of people.
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November 25th, 2008 @ 10:18 am
Yay, yay, yay!!! More creative ways to use the F-bomb! Thank you, Sassy. I don’t have kids but I completely subscribe to the boundless creative uses of this fabulous phrase. In fact, my dog now understands many nuances of f**k– he knows when to give me sympathy, knows when to hide, when to start playing and when to simply chide me for gratuitous use
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November 25th, 2008 @ 10:24 am
Hysterical. I actually have my son saying “What the?” bahahaha..
Kims last blog post..Twilight – The Movie Review
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November 25th, 2008 @ 10:32 am
Since this is how our next generation is beginning to talk (you know, “Like, O.M.G!”, by the time your little girl is big enough, this is still going to be just as bad as the f bomb…ya know? ;oD
Stephanies last blog post..Living with the barest of essentials, Stephanie Style
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November 25th, 2008 @ 10:41 am
We use Sugar, Honey, Ice Tea for SH*T. I use Fudge a lot. Or I just throw in random weird word combinations…and the kids love it.
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November 25th, 2008 @ 10:47 am
I think I’d stumble over the letters…
Honeybells last blog post..More About My Nutcake Neighbors
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November 25th, 2008 @ 10:54 am
I won’t say we don’t curse– because that would be a big effing lie.
However, we do say ‘effing’ and have learned to spell bad words pretty fast.
D-A-M-M-I-T-A-L-L
and
S-O-N-O-F-A-B-I-T-C-H
and
B-A-S-T-A-R-D
but not
F-U-C-K
because Tyler’s learning to read, and that’s a short word that doesn’t lose its effect when it’s spelled.
Ashs last blog post..A-PL: The Always Pleasant Lifestyle
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November 25th, 2008 @ 11:07 am
I don’t even *have* kids and I shorten things all of the time, mostly because my mouth gets tired of the cussing. Usually it’s “GTFO’ or “STFU”…but I can only say it to my hubby cause he thinks it’s funny. Everyone else recognizes it for the true dorkdom it is.
Hillys last blog post..Deal Breakers Volume One: Laugh, Bitch…
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November 25th, 2008 @ 11:33 am
Our girls haven’t learned those words yet. They will soon, I fear.
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November 25th, 2008 @ 11:38 am
hahaha that’s awesome. I can’t wait for your little one to start using those acronyms.
“Time to take a bath, Allie.”
“BMFD, Mama.”
Katies last blog post..Everyone was Kung Fu fighting!
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November 25th, 2008 @ 12:00 pm
I have a feeling you guys are going to be married to one another for a very long time.
Sounds like a sitcom scene. So funny.
OHmommys last blog post..Investing in YOU
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November 25th, 2008 @ 12:36 pm
I’m trying to think I I swear in acronyms, and I don’t. Probably because I’d mess it up. I’d say it takes talent in the heat of the moment to be able to do that. You are awesome that way.
Maggie’s Minds last blog post..Dear Me, Love Me
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November 25th, 2008 @ 4:25 pm
Bwahahhaaa. Awesome. I can’t bring myself to stop saying Sh*t. I want to but I just can’t stop. So far my kids haven’t said it….or at least I haven’t heard it.
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November 25th, 2008 @ 4:59 pm
LOVES it! I’ve been trying to curb my cursing.. maybe we’ll start more of the acronyms!
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November 25th, 2008 @ 5:49 pm
OMFG. I’m totally going to incorporate TMFS into my daily lexicon.
Someone at work once complained about my occasional usage of the phrase “Jesus Christ”. I have now taken to bellowing “JFC!” at the top of my lungs and no one’s the wiser. Tra-la-la. Suck it, Jesus peeps.
Jennifers last blog post..Why You Gotta Be Like That?
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November 25th, 2008 @ 6:58 pm
Must figure out how to work those into my conversations with Mr. Hot.
Rees last blog post..“WTF? Move your knee!”
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November 25th, 2008 @ 8:50 pm
I’m so in love with this idea. I think I will start now so I don’t have to train myself then. This is so classy.
You are a genius.
Heathers last blog post..Gobble Gobble.
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November 25th, 2008 @ 11:02 pm
I still swear just as much as pre-Isobel. I just do it in French. Really dirty, sacreligious french curses. If we ever go to Quebec City, I’m so Foobarred.
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November 26th, 2008 @ 1:46 am
When my friend was student teaching the master teacher did something called the DMFQ–Daily Math Facts Quiz. My friend lived in fear that one day she’d call it the Daily Mother Fucking Quiz.
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November 26th, 2008 @ 10:09 am
OOOOH..we’re F-bomb people too. It’s my FAVORITE curse word. LOVE IT. Only I have a 5 & 6 year old. Not so good when you’re 5 year old gets a note sent home that she told someone to shut the fuck up. Well, I give her credit for using it in a sentence correctly.
) So, I modify. “Freak” “Eff this” etc…so the other day, my son walks into his room and it’s all nice and clean (Thanks to 2 hours of mommy and daddy throwing out toys he forgot he had but insisted he needed.) and he says, “What the FREAK happened in here?” Then my daughter says “No freakin’ way.” Nice.
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November 26th, 2008 @ 11:48 am
I was always all over the BFD, but you forgot the TFB.
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November 26th, 2008 @ 12:12 pm
Oh, we’re really bad potty mouths over here. I figure that the kids are old enough to use those words when they have it figured out when it is not appropriate. My teens seem to have that part down pat. My seven year old… he needs more practice, though he has started asking if it’s okay to say a curse word before he says it most of the time!
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November 26th, 2008 @ 8:40 pm
At least you’ve stopped saying the *f bomb*. I just can’t help it sometimes.
Jessicas last blog post..Thankful
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November 26th, 2008 @ 11:15 pm
LOL I usually drop the WTH bomb. (Heck)
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November 26th, 2008 @ 11:53 pm
When my oldest was two, she successfully conjugated “fuck” while playing in her toy car. It was a proud moment. Like mother like daughter.
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November 27th, 2008 @ 7:13 am
TMFC!!!
lol!!!!
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November 27th, 2008 @ 6:48 pm
Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours! =)
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November 28th, 2008 @ 7:08 pm
Her teachers may still be horrified when they finally figure out what all those acronyms she’s shouting stand for.
Michelles last blog post..Unhappy Thanksgiving
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November 29th, 2008 @ 6:27 am
You know the word ‘pron’ brought more freakshows to my blog than spelling it the correct way!
My girls favourite one is STFU noob.
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November 29th, 2008 @ 11:42 pm
I was definitely chuckling through this post. It reminded me of the days growing up with my grandparents. I had a grandmother who was a very straight-lace Southern Baptist, and my grandfather let out curse words fairly often – only things like damn, shit, you know – milder ones. Whenever I would let out a curse word, my grandmother would always turn to my grandfather and say, “Earl, you do know she learned that from you. Little pictures have big ears!” Didn’t matter, my grandfather was my greatest love and hero all my life.
I never heard my grandmother ever let out a curse word until after his death. He was hit by a speeding police car in an accident, and died 8 days later. When my grandmother received a bill for the police car after coming home from the hospital the day he died, she promptly got the Mayor of Memphis and then the Police Chief of Memphis on the phone. I heard words out of her mouth that would have shocked my grandfather. I told her after this, “Grandpa would have been proud of you lady.” She agreed, and smiled widely.
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November 30th, 2008 @ 12:57 pm
I’m SO borrowing, I mean stealing, TMFS. Hysterical post
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November 30th, 2008 @ 3:52 pm
my fave German swear works great “Sheiss” then you mix it with a Greek swear “feiskida” and you get “sheisskeida” very effective and cryptic at the same time unless you know a GermanGreek trucker !
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