Spam Mail from Jesus
- October 15th, 2008 3:56 pm
My life was moving along in a rather uneventful fashion until a few days ago when I noticed that I had received a spam email from Jesus.
Oh, man! I thought.
Email? From Jesus? Really?
Sure enough, it was.
As you can see by the screen, I was given the option to invite Jesus to chat. Instead, I decided that it was only polite to reply to Jesus via email. After all, he had taken the time to spend some spam email about an “outstanding way to solve his health” that was “for gentleman’s only!!”
In case there’s some reason you cannot read the image it says:
Dear Jesus,
It was so nice of you to send me spam email. I’m rather confused about it though, because I was under the impression that you were a carpenter and not a master spam emailer that would assume I was a man and offer me a link to a “healthy” website.
I’ll be honest, Jesus. I tried to click on the link you gave me, and it didn’t work. If you’ve picked up this spammer stuff as a side job, because carpentry work is a little slim right now, you might want to make sure you’re providing a good link. That’s just a little tip, you know, in case you were all What Would Amanda Do?
Honestly, Jesus, I am stunned that you have the internet. Are you tuning in from a big computer in the sky? Do you have to take turns like my husband and I do on our desktop since our laptops are broken?
Can you really answer the big question for me: Mac or PC? Because as far as picking out a new computer goes, I’m all WWJD? And you know what, no one knows. No one except for you, Jesus. WHAT UP?
I sort of ended it there, because that is all of the screen that I could screenshot. But yeah, I got some spam email from Jesus. Who would’ve thunk it? I wonder if he’ll reply.
October 15th, 2008 @ 4:07 pm
If he does, please let me know; I have a few bones to pick with him myself.
Koris last blog post..The Ex-FIL Passed
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October 15th, 2008 @ 4:08 pm
Dude – that wasn’t Jesus. That was Hay-soos.
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October 15th, 2008 @ 4:08 pm
You are too much!!
I’m also wondering about the whole Mac/PC thing.
If it’s PC, I’ll be able to tell hubs that he doesn’t NEED a Macbook, ’cause Jesus prefers the PC.
If it’s the Mac, well then I won’t tell my husband sh*t, cause even if Jesus can afford a Macbook, I totally can’t.
Eternal Sunshines last blog post..Something occurred to me…
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October 15th, 2008 @ 4:09 pm
Oh – and your CommentLuv hates me.
Eternal Sunshines last blog post..Something occurred to me…
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October 15th, 2008 @ 4:20 pm
I don’t think it’s from Jesus, I think it’s from the same person who sends people emails saying if you don’t forward it to at least 650 of your closest friends, then you’re going to get it from God when it’s your time to go.
Sammanthias last blog post..‘Tis The Season To Be Scary
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October 15th, 2008 @ 4:29 pm
If he responds, ask him if hangs out with that Chinese dude who dropped the spam comments all over the blogs last week, and if so, tell him to tell that dude to chill.
foradifferentkindofgirl (fadkog)s last blog post..‘a fool could see just how much i adore you…’
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October 15th, 2008 @ 4:30 pm
Jesus told me Mac. And, I listened.
(also, I’ve never owned a PC. So there)
Rhis last blog post..Better Now
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October 15th, 2008 @ 4:50 pm
What Lisa said. My father-in-law is named Jesus (Hay-zus). He goes by Jesse, though. I suppose it would be more amusing if his e-mails were from Jesus than Jesse.
Sadias last blog post..Fall festivities: The pumpkin festival
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October 15th, 2008 @ 4:53 pm
Amanda, you’re totally like Moses now, communicating with the big dude via email…I’m impressed!!
And let me know if he tells you Mac or PC, seriously.
)
Rheas last blog post..A Special Message
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October 15th, 2008 @ 5:03 pm
My brother’s name is Jesus, pronounced HAY-soos. It’s a really common Mexican name.
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October 15th, 2008 @ 5:10 pm
Wow! You get mail from Jesus. I get it from Albazar, Pissa Albubaca and from all over the globe. Most want my personal information or have ways to increase my man parts
ReformingGeeks last blog post..Ah….all cuddly and sweet
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October 15th, 2008 @ 5:17 pm
Hah. Very cute letter.
I’m pretty sure Jesus can spam email you with HIS MIND.
Let me know what he says about Mac or PC.
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October 15th, 2008 @ 5:55 pm
OH. MY. JESUS. That is probably the funniest blog I’ve read in a very long time. I can’t believe you actually wrote him back! Hilarious!!!! Um, seriously – if he writes back please, please post it!!
I LOVE IT!
Grey Streets last blog post..Wordless Wednesday (Baby shower)
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October 15th, 2008 @ 6:14 pm
Oh my!!!! Snort, laugh, applaud, drop to my knee for 5 hail Marys!!!!
Laura from the Finges last blog post..A work in Progress – Wednesday Weigh In
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October 15th, 2008 @ 6:23 pm
See, that’s cool because he doesn’t email me because he knows I don’t think he exists. He KNOWS I know he’s not real, so he doesn’t email me.
Gotten a reply yet?
Melissas last blog post..It’s started already…
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October 15th, 2008 @ 7:27 pm
LOL! You crack me up.
The Farmers Wifes last blog post..Just Another Fluff Post
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October 15th, 2008 @ 7:31 pm
no jesus uses a PC, i’m sure of it. funny stuff.
Naturals last blog post..Why Poverty?
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October 15th, 2008 @ 7:53 pm
Actually, it was from Jesus Cordova who lives on 26th St., in Chicago.
lceels last blog post..Wordy Wednesday
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October 15th, 2008 @ 8:15 pm
I think you are right about the side job thing. Based on what is going on in politics now not too many folk going to heaven. Or asking for help for that matter. Funny stuff.
Renée aka Mekhismoms last blog post..I’m Back!
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October 15th, 2008 @ 9:10 pm
Why do you always get the best spam? I need to step up my game.. I need Jesus to spam me.
Kims last blog post..Wordless Wednesday – Fall Fun
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October 15th, 2008 @ 9:39 pm
I personally would enjoy spam from a few other well known people. How about Buddha? That’d kick ass AND be enlightening.
Zoeyjanes last blog post..A love letter
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October 15th, 2008 @ 9:49 pm
Wow, he needs to get off the computer and fix the economy (and apparently your toilet). Joe the plumber can’t do it all….
Caseys last blog post..Club Half As Small As You
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October 15th, 2008 @ 10:15 pm
That is hilarious. I’m loving the WWJD. Even my husband laughed, and usually I can’t even get him to crack a smile.
Texan Mamas last blog post..Wordless Wednesday: Testing. Testing. 1, 2…
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October 15th, 2008 @ 11:31 pm
What Would Amanda Do? That’s my new motto.
Jenn @ Juggling Lifes last blog post..It’s Called Thoughtful Thursday For A Reason . . . Jenn’s No on 8 Post
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October 15th, 2008 @ 11:37 pm
Thank God, or Jesus, I never get any good spam email or very much spam at all. Let us know if he writes back!
Kels last blog post..Plastic free holidays?
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October 16th, 2008 @ 4:06 am
You rawk! I would’ve been all ‘OMG, Jesus is emailling me’ and just freaked out.
Vic @ Glowstarss last blog post..Be Our Guest
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October 16th, 2008 @ 8:01 am
How funny – I thought I was special with squirrle pictures, but I guess not. Guess Jesus needs to communicate in a much more difinitive way these days!
hehe
kels last blog post..Alone at Last??
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October 16th, 2008 @ 10:26 am
I’m pissed! 41 years..going to church saying my prayers..asking for a sign like in the bible times..and YOU get an email? Why not me?
OR..your email is the sign I was looking for?
mps last blog post..Weekend Update AKA At the Movie’s!
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October 16th, 2008 @ 11:13 am
And here I have been trying prayer…did you have to “reply”? Couldn’t you have just “said it”…he would’ve heard.
morethananelectricians last blog post..Say Hello to my Little Friend
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October 16th, 2008 @ 11:25 am
LMAO!!! That’s too funny!! I wish I got some spam email from Jesus. Instead all I get is the icky porn (and not even the good stuff!!!). That’s too funny!!
dcokequeens last blog post..The big 5-0!!!
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October 16th, 2008 @ 11:29 am
OH.MY.GOD.
OH.MY.GOD.
OH.MY.GOD.
I CAN’T BREATHE. ha ha ha ha ha ha.
That was some FUNNY shit right there.
Heathers last blog post..Fall is the season of change…
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October 16th, 2008 @ 12:59 pm
That is pretty funny!
Undercover Princesss last blog post..Vocabu-tastic!
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October 16th, 2008 @ 1:31 pm
Amanda, Amanda, Amanda,
I know 100% for a fact that Jesus uses a PC.
How do I know this?
Because God speaks directly to me and told me so.
God keeps the Mac for himself.
Heather, Queen of Shake Shakes last blog post..This is how we do crazy around here. Alternate Title: How many times can I ask what the hell?
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October 16th, 2008 @ 1:42 pm
You are so hilarious!
The Flirty Girls last blog post..Married 70 Years
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October 16th, 2008 @ 2:46 pm
Heather,
I was thinking the same thing.
-Amanda
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October 16th, 2008 @ 2:47 pm
Undercover Princess,
Thank you!
-Amanda
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October 16th, 2008 @ 4:48 pm
I don’t know….
You know he’s a busy man and all.
If he does reply, send me his address. I got a few questions to ask
Slicks last blog post..Day 1….
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October 16th, 2008 @ 7:11 pm
hahhahahaha
ah
hahahahahaha
ah
ahahhahahahahahahaha….
thanks for the good laugh. Oh, and he uses a MAC.
kalyns last blog post..I Guess You Had To Be There
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October 16th, 2008 @ 8:27 pm
and here, the best one I got today was from derby ligouri. Why does Jesus love you more than me?
Rees last blog post..Seventeen
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October 16th, 2008 @ 10:34 pm
I keep finding junk mail from “user”….
You’re lucky!
Jesus is a giver…
PS – Ask him if I won the phone… I was praying that I would!
Jackie
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October 16th, 2008 @ 10:36 pm
Um, I think MAC. Jesus had a beard. Steve Jobs has a beard and a beard colorist. Also, remember the good old days when God and Jesus would appear as a burning bush? Now they’re spammers. Not awesome. You are hilarious.
steenky bees last blog post..The Spin Cycle: The Rhythm is Gonna Get You
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October 17th, 2008 @ 1:46 am
That was hilarious, thanks for the laugh!
Siobhans last blog post..T13: Meriland or Scotica?
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October 17th, 2008 @ 4:53 am
WWJD.
That. Is. Gold.
Totally cracked my shite up there woman.
Kelleys last blog post..The sentence I never in my wildest dreams thought I would hear…
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October 17th, 2008 @ 5:21 am
If you really clicked a link in the spam and nothing seemed to happen, you should really do a thorough scan of your computer.
I mean that.
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October 19th, 2008 @ 3:43 am
Pretty sure it’s the devil and not Jesus who invented SPAM… BOTH KINDS…
Great post… life is funnier than any shit we could ever make up…
J/
goteemans last blog post..The Transformation
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October 27th, 2008 @ 2:45 pm
OMG, I am dying to know the answer. Does he have a Mac or a pc??
Elisas last blog post..All Disneyed out
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October 31st, 2008 @ 8:43 am
That is so funny. Love that you e-mailed Jesus.
Missy@ Marketing Mamas last blog post..A few tidbits
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