Another Post About Her Kid???
- May 16th, 2008 12:04 am
Andi wrote a post I read earlier where she mentioned the bipolar nature of three year olds. And she was dead on.
Because listen, I’m not sure what sort of creature you have living in your home. You may be the only creature there for all I know. Or you might have a dog, a cat, a hamster, a three year old, or possibly a lovely potted tree. Like I said, I don’t know.
(You might still have up your Christmas tree. If you do, please take it down.More on this tomorrow.)
But let me tell you about the creature living in mine: she is three, she is rambunctious, and she is rowdy.
There are days when all I want to do is hug this girl, and tell her how amazing she is. Tell her much I enjoy watching her grow. Tell her that I think asking people questions that make them uncomfortable all of the time is a lovely talent. (It SO is if you ask me.)
Then there are days when we are barely tolerating one another, and it’s like a game. Who will snap first?
It’s usually her, my redheaded creature.
I ask her a question and she replies in a tone that indicates that she is barely tolerating me–a tone that I did not expect to hear until she was at a minimum age of fourteen and attempting to wear a tubetop with hooker red lipstick and a fake tramp stamp etched on her back like that it was appropriate, and I was totally holding her down.
But no, she’s just three, and she is all, "ugh, mom".
And I’m all, ‘Listen spawn, you have to live with me a long time. Like it or lump it.’
Then, she does it. She pulls out the FAIL sign, and says, "I want a new family with a new mommy." Which is crazy coming from a three year old, but this girl is a spitfire.
A new mommy. PSHH! Kid, do you think your new mom will let you sneak and listen to Salt-n-Peppa in the car since your favorite song is ‘None of Your Business ‘? No? I didn’t think so.
Then, she runs to hug me and apologizes, and belts out, ‘IF I WANNA TAKE A GUY HOME WITH ME TONIGHT, IT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS…"
Note to self: Stop listening to old school music that says dirty things in front of your three year old. She is a sponge. A talking sponge. What were you thinking??
I’m going to be honest, three years old is all up in my face and poking at my eyes. But most of the time, it is awesome.
(I have a serious 80’s Lady update for tomorrow. And by serious I mean, she’s gone and done it again.)
May 16th, 2008 @ 2:10 am
Awesome in every way. 90’s music today, 80’s Lady tomorrow. You never disappoint.
Maggie’s Minds last blog post..Hai-(eek)-ku Friday 5/16/08
May 16th, 2008 @ 4:51 am
Im SOOOOOOO GLAD I have a late talkin 2.5 year old.
gangster rap still blarin’ here.
MizFits last blog post..Link Love and a Friday FREEBIE!
May 16th, 2008 @ 5:59 am
That kid is hilarious!
I can’t wait for the 80’s lady update.
dysfunctional moms last blog post..Emotional Sucker Punch
May 16th, 2008 @ 7:24 am
The whole bipolar thing? Lasts well beyond age three. Just a heads-up.
JMCs last blog post..Name my kids!
May 16th, 2008 @ 8:12 am
can’t wait for the 80’s lady update, always entertaining!
May 16th, 2008 @ 9:21 am
Yeah, I have actually always thought that the Terrible Twos were not true, it should be Terrible Threes. Because then they can actually tell you what a piece of crap mom you are instead of just screaming.
Koris last blog post..Go Ahead and Laugh
May 16th, 2008 @ 9:44 am
We had three boys. Three ‘burn the house down if you don’t watch out’ BOYS. But as far as your little firebrand is concerned, better you than me.
lceels last blog post..The Barechested Woman
May 16th, 2008 @ 10:36 am
Wow, at 3? She’s an early bloomer! We have the same thing over here at 5…I think by 14 Hope will be killing me while I sleep
Melissas last blog post..Mommy, I Have Something To Show You….
May 16th, 2008 @ 11:47 am
Thanks for the linky love. So glad I’m not the only one enduring the joys that is Three. And here I thought I had it bad when Elliot told me she hated me - yours is sneaking boys in the house (seriously, I cried from laughing at that one). Is it too early in the day for us to have a drink?
andis last blog post..I wasn’t planning on joining the club so soon
May 16th, 2008 @ 11:57 am
Amanda-You have outdone yourself this time! I am laughing and snorting so hard. The thought of a little child making amends with S&P is absolutely priceless.
PS. I totally have a follow up blog about the instability of young children. I am linking up to your blog on it, so keep an eye out!
tracis last blog post..I’ve Got Nothing, So I Leave You WIth This….
May 16th, 2008 @ 12:06 pm
So cute. My little guy Jack likes to tell me he’s going to a new family. In fact, just yesterday, he lay beside me in bed & told me he was running away to live in a forest…in a tent…all alone, with only a blanket & no one to make him food.
All while sneeking glances at me to see if I’d be crying or something… Manipulative little devils they are.
Eve Greys last blog post..Brown paper packages tied up with strings
May 16th, 2008 @ 12:34 pm
Hey, if it’s a new family she’s looking for…
We is good folk ;0)
Xbox4NappyRashs last blog post..A fornication fifty-fifty
May 16th, 2008 @ 1:26 pm
Crap. I forgot I read this already. I feel tricked.
lceels last blog post..The Barechested Woman
May 16th, 2008 @ 1:29 pm
Funny! My almost-3 year old does the same thing: she acts like it is ME who is the annoying one. ‘Moooooommmmmmm’.
It is I who usually breaks first, because I have no patience, and she knows just how to push my buttons.
I’ll trade you. :0)
Danielle-Lees last blog post..Getting soaked after meeting HER
May 16th, 2008 @ 2:04 pm
HAHAHA. I am a teacher and I see the whole “Kids say the darndest things” thing all the time. Like when a ten year old says “Girl why’d you cut your hair? Makes you look old”
or “Sista girl, you fittin to lose”
or “You know those crazy black families? Yeah, we’re one of em.”
but it’s always nice when you hear something like, “You can ask for knowledge, and you may get it, but that doesn’t mean you necessarily get wisdom along with it,” from a 12 year old stuck in an alternative school because he was a drug baby.
Some of those kids crack you up, others melt your heart, and they all drive you crazy at one point or another.
May 16th, 2008 @ 2:53 pm
Three is kicking my ass, Amanda. And, you’ve seen how big it is. You have to have a wicked high kick to be able to kick me somewhere.
Anglophile Football Fanatics last blog post..HF: Faux Innocent
May 16th, 2008 @ 3:32 pm
You said it perfectly when you said “three is a creature”. Some days I don’t know what in the world I am living with.
And we also have the battles to see who will drop first. Three is the MOST exhausting thing I have ever encountered.
Kristens last blog post..It’s that time again! It’s Friday Forum Baby!
May 17th, 2008 @ 11:21 am
I wish I could tell you that the attitude is so much better when they hit 14 or so, but that would just be a blatant lie!
This attitude we get from our daughters? That is why God invented wine.
Friglets last blog post..Lasterday
May 17th, 2008 @ 8:53 pm
I love it and I LIVE it! And btw, four isn’t any better, brace yourself!
amys last blog post..It happens to the best of us
May 17th, 2008 @ 8:58 pm
I am very amused that you listen to Salt n Pepa. And that your kid knows the lyrics.:)
Missys last blog post..Pooky Age 18 Months
May 18th, 2008 @ 12:10 am
She sure keeps it interesting!!! I love that she listens to old school music. But you’re right–she is a sponge . . . and sponge that eventually spews forth every word she hears!
“‘Listen spawn, you have to live with me a long time. Like it or lump it.’” So using this line one day!
LOVED hearing about 80s Lady. I read the old post too–I have a complete visual. BUT, what happened with her long lost daughter? Did you post about that???
LaskiGals last blog post..I am not a thief . . . not on purpose anyway
May 18th, 2008 @ 1:07 am
If this is 3 you’re not going to like 4!
We called it the Fearsome Fours. As in “We fear we’re not going to let her live to 5!”
Jenn @ Juggling Lifes last blog post..Prom, or A Date with the Interrogator
May 18th, 2008 @ 9:48 am
That’s HILARIOUS! I love “None of your business”!! I used to have the cassette single for it and I played it all the time–my parents were horrified.
Jens last blog post..Day 20 of Month 359
May 18th, 2008 @ 9:29 pm
Three is for sure a creature. My three year old seriously acts like a pod person sometimes that I have no idea who he is.. ahahahaha
Kims last blog post..Sunday Snapshots
May 19th, 2008 @ 1:16 pm
My step-daughter is 6 and it’s been an emotional-rollercoaster year. She sports ‘tude any chance she gets. Sometimes it’s cute. But mostly it’s not.
and kuDOS for listening to Salt-n-peppa, I totally forgot about that song! Must visit itunes.
May 20th, 2008 @ 6:11 am
haha I absolutely agree!! My monster (she’s 5 now) developed her attitude early on and peaked at 3!! We were in the car, I was pulled over because of my tag being in the window and not bolted (it was a new car)…. after the very nice police officer left me with nothing more than a warning, and me in tears, my “little darling” offered some advice… “Well, Mama, if you learned how to drive the poweeceman no have to stop you!!”. I’m not sure but I think it’s getting worse!!! lol
May 20th, 2008 @ 10:20 am
Isabelle walks around singing “Doncha wish your girlfriend was hot like me..” ugh! She started saying “?MAAAAAMMM” in that teenager way when she was 3…I think somehow we have very similar children. (sigh) Pray for me, and I will pray for you..yes? (grin)
May 20th, 2008 @ 2:48 pm
ROFL! Great post, as usual.
But, to make you feel a little better about the listening to “bad” songs, my daughter would belt out any song by Gwen Stefani, The Killers and Black Eyed Peas when she was 3 1/2-4. Thanks to my younger cousin (age 18). Her all-time favorite lines to belt out at any given time were “Back it up, back it up” (Gwen) and “She’s touching his chest now, he takes off her dress now” (Killers) and of course: “Lookin at my hump-hump” with “You ain’t my man boy” (BEP).
May 21st, 2008 @ 11:17 am
oh my God! she sounds hilarious…and frighteningly like my oldest! Zander just turned 3 at the start of May. the other day he told me he didn’t want to love me “right now”…you see, he was still recovering from the indignity of having a time-out after throwing lego at his brother’s head. the things that boys says…where do they come up with this stuff???
the upside…3 year olds give seriously good blog fodder!
cates last blog post..Pink Eye waiting to happen
May 21st, 2008 @ 2:22 pm
My five year old says “You’re not my mom anymore!” and I try not to laugh my hind-end off in his face. “Sorry, buddy,” I tell him, “But I think it’s written somewhere that I did give birth to you and until we can find said written word and make sure that’s exactly what it says, you’ll just have to take MY word…” Then he glares at me. This usually follows my “No” to his “I want candy” at seven in the morning…:)
Jennys last blog post..In The Bee Tree