And Then, We Ran Like Hell
- May 4th, 2008 9:09 pm
Allie loves being outdoors. However, she was blessed with parents who are not outdoorsy. Whatsoever. No doubt about it. We are not one with nature. But we try. We really try for her sake.
In order to make up for our shortcomings, we decided to take her fishing today at a local lake. We didn’t really plan to catch fish, as much as we just planned to go soak up the atmosphere and go through the notions of fishing. So we purchased a cute little Dora fishing pole and other goods and headed on down.
Allie was game for this trip before it even began. After all, she had already told many an imaginary story about all of the loot she racked up from past imaginary fishing trips.
Upon arrival, there were two trails you could take at the spot we went picked that led to the lake. So we chose a path and started walking down.
(THIS is where I interject to tell you how terrified I am of the possibility of even seeing a snake. So as soon as I enter any sort of ground area that is not concrete, asphalt, etc. I immediately begin to scan for the slithery little creatures. IMMEDIATELY.)
Adam led the way while I followed behind holding Allie’s hand. When we were fully immersed in the woods Allie was fascinated and I was somewhat terrified. Not long after our entrance, Adam stops and pauses. He had heard what he thought was a snake.
Then, about a foot in front of him, a snake, peppered with black and yellow, sprang up from it’s hiding place.
I grabbed Allie, slung her over my shoulder, and ran like hell.
Fast and like hell.
I never truly understood what it meant to run like hell until I undertook such a task today. But if you’ve ever ran in such a manner, you know what I mean.
After safely returning to the non-snake infested pavement, I set Allie down. I looked at her, expecting her to be slightly terrified and prepared to explained what had just happened. Instead she cocked her eyebrow and said, “did you see dad? he ran like a girl when he saw that snake? just like a girl.” And then she giggled for hours. (We ended up taking the other trail to the lake.)
I can’t imagine what the people who saw us running out of the woods were thinking. All they saw was a lady high-tailing it with a redheaded toddler slung over her shoulder potato sack style, and a dark-headed man running like he’d seen the devil.
Unfortunately, the hard times for Adam didn’t end with the snake incident. Upon returning home from the mini-fishing adventure, we agreed that it was a perfect day to grill our dinner. Grilling out, of course requires starting the grill. So I stayed inside with Allie and prepared to chop up vegetables while he ignited it.
I heard him reasoning with himself about how he was going to start it. The igniter was messed up. Then, after a few minutes, I heard a very loud POOF.
Slightly terrified, I ran outside to make sure Adam was okay.
And he was, except for that his eyebrows and most of his the hair on his arms was all singed off.
I love this man, and I was so grateful he wasn’t injured. but it was really hard to not to laugh. really, really hard. So finally, I did. There’s just something about a person getting their eyebrows partially singed off that is comic gold.
May 4th, 2008 @ 9:15 pm
This made me call my husband upstairs to read this post. My genius hubby once tried to be a manly man by torching a bees nest and ended up torching his arm and eyebrow hairs too.. thanks for the flashback..
PS>. I grew up with garden snakes in my backyard.. I LOATHE snakes.. LOATHE.
Kims last blog post..Sunday Snap Shots
May 4th, 2008 @ 9:24 pm
Mama does NOT do outdoors. Snakes, grills, fishing, etc. I likes my a/c. I’ll be sending my girls off to camp w/ someone else’s mom. NOT me.
A Whole Lot of Nothings last blog post..Good Advice When Digging for Black Gold
May 4th, 2008 @ 9:27 pm
Hmm . .. doesn’t sound like it was a venomous snake, but I would have paid money to witness the toddler-potato-sack race. And the arm hair singing incident.
Law Student Hot Mamas last blog post..Confusion
May 4th, 2008 @ 9:59 pm
This is funny. This is SO funny that Grannie looked over at me and said, “If you’re going to laugh and fart at the same time, take it to another room.”
lceels last blog post..feeling a little guilty
May 4th, 2008 @ 11:13 pm
Oh my goodness! I totally needed a laugh tonight. Soooo sorry that it was at your hubby “running like a girl” and then getting his eyebrows burnt off, but that IS funny!
You are a talented writer and I think I am going to have to add you to my blogroll if you don’t mind! Thanks for stopping by my blog as well, and hope you can make it back soon!
Kristens last blog post..Let’s spread the LOVE!
May 4th, 2008 @ 11:49 pm
Hahahahaahahahah! That was awesome! I can so picture it all in my head! You guys need a walking stick. If nothing else, it could be a just in case weapon. Lol.
Ashley - BossSanderss last blog post..You chose A.
May 5th, 2008 @ 12:10 am
I love the sound of your little girl. You can send her to my house. I’ll give her lots of “outdoors!” Hee
Beth from The Funny Farms last blog post..Auctions, Rain, Skulls, Concert, and Whiskey
May 5th, 2008 @ 12:18 am
My father once ran like a little girl… it was partially my fault. We were at the park and I was collecting little gourds that were all over the ground while my Dad held the bag. Apparently, the squirrels liked the gourds. Soon, a pack of squirrels were following us down the concrete trail path and in a fit of what I can only imagine was hunger, 3 squirrels ran up my Dad’s leg and body. We dropped the bag and ran for about 50 feet before looking back to see no bag… and no squirrels. We went home after that, as you can imagine lol.
Desirees last blog post..Hair-volution
May 5th, 2008 @ 2:24 am
Allie does it again - she makes me laugh so hard my boyfriend just has to know what’s so funny.
I have a solution, next time why don’t you send Allie fishing with Cleek. Cleek wouldn’t run from a snake like some danged girl!
Dingos last blog post..You Tube is a Time Suck
May 5th, 2008 @ 6:05 am
Well now the big girly man can draw on his eyebrows like Joan Crawford. Added benefit is being able to yell ‘No. Wire. Hangers. Ever!’ credibly.
I do my fair share of running with an overenthusisatic Boo. And I can do it in 6 inch heels AND notice the shiny!
Kelleys last blog post..Take me drinking with you. I mean, to BlogHer.
May 5th, 2008 @ 6:24 am
I’m actually very impressed that you made it to another trail to continue your plans with fishing. I’m pretty sure that would have been it for me!
Tammys last blog post..Moments for Me Monday - week 3
May 5th, 2008 @ 7:47 am
That’s hilarious! When I was little, my uncle Glenn (who is shaped like a bowling ball) went out to light the grill SHIRTLESS. He singed off his eyebrows, mustache, and all the hair on his arms and belly. My aunt Marsha actually wet her pants laughing at him.
Jens last blog post..Fat Is Not a Feeling
May 5th, 2008 @ 10:18 am
You’re right, they do make for deliciously comic images. Singed eyebrows, two adults running for their lives with a bouncing toddler over one’s shoulder. I started laughing at the second sentence. As always, you’re a hoot. One that continues to give inspiration for my own posts at that. Thanks Manda.
May 5th, 2008 @ 10:25 am
I love me some Allie!
And I bet your Hairless Husband is looking Hot right about now. ha!
cyndys last blog post..Fresh Ink
May 5th, 2008 @ 11:31 am
LMAO! Oh, man - that was hilarious “did you see dad? he ran like a girl when he saw that snake? just like a girl.” I’ve been giggling for some time after reading that line, too.
SherE1s last blog post..Not so fit this Friday
May 5th, 2008 @ 11:38 am
Oh my gosh! I pictured this while I was reading it and almost wet my pants. I’ve never had a problem with woods or snakes or creepy crawly things. I just can’t understand the fear but I know it’s real. I loved that Daddy ran like a girl! LOL Try getting video next time.. I would have liked that. As for the flare up, your hubby was very lucky! That happened to my son (not at a bbq pit but a huge fire pit) a few weeks ago and he’s still healing. If you want, you can see the pics on my blog. It was scary! Draw some eyebrows on for him or something.
Renes last blog post..Has It Really Been Ten Years?
May 5th, 2008 @ 11:53 am
You would think I know better than to read your blog and drink anything. But no. Sprayed the computer again. Just the vision of you running with her over your shoulder is too much!
May 5th, 2008 @ 12:09 pm
Heh.
Our BBQ has not had a starter for YEARS. Honey starts it by turning on the gas and flinging matches. I have had to do it once or twice and have had visions of singing my eyebrows
Angellas last blog post..Big Daddy
May 5th, 2008 @ 12:19 pm
What is it about men and bbq-ing??? Mine has come dangerously close to losing his eyebrows.
“Just like a girl!” LOL!
Shannons last blog post..things i would most love to hear elmo say
May 5th, 2008 @ 12:34 pm
Hysterical! Love the posts - incidentally - what part of Southeastern KY are you from? I hail from Glasgow and think from reading your posts we may be cousins!!
Lisa Martins last blog post..Song List
May 5th, 2008 @ 12:44 pm
I’ve been fishing 39 million times and have NEVER seen a snake. How does that happen to you?? LOL.
Your daughter is SO smart…seeing daddy “run like a girl”.. I see a witty blog in her future.
mps last blog post..DAY 5 - Assume the position
May 5th, 2008 @ 12:48 pm
Awesome! You know you are a total wuss when your 3 yo calls you out. Poor A! Allie nailed it. And, then using too much lighter fluid to act macho and regain man status? Poor, Poor Adam.
Anglophile Football Fanatics last blog post..Burgh Sucks Like a Dyson in Texas
May 5th, 2008 @ 1:02 pm
allie is awesome. poor adam, first he gets called a girl, then he loses his eyebrows. lol. man, i want to spend a week in your house.
May 5th, 2008 @ 1:04 pm
Snakes are freaky. I’d run like hell, too.
Britts last blog post..Embarrassing Moment of the Week
May 5th, 2008 @ 2:23 pm
Allie’s response to her Dad is priceless. At least one you stayed calm!
Jennifers last blog post..Fro Me To You: Happy Birthday Sis
May 5th, 2008 @ 3:14 pm
the poor poor man… he has my sympathy…
and a little mocking laughter too for good measure
Xbox4NappyRashs last blog post..Unlucky for some
May 5th, 2008 @ 4:27 pm
I needed a giggle, and that about did it. Between imaginary fishing trips (who thinks of that? could only be your own little girl, too cute!) and saying her dad ran like a girl… bwahahaha. I’d borrow her anytime.
maggies minds last blog post..The A Part of the Q & A Part Two - Maggie Goes to Japan Edition
May 5th, 2008 @ 4:43 pm
Laughing out loud! I would TOTALLY run like hell away from a snake with Bubbalu over my shoulder!
And, I would TOTALLY laugh at my husband without eyebrows
Amanda- VintageDutchGirls last blog post..Diaper Bombs…
May 5th, 2008 @ 6:00 pm
Oh my gosh this post had me laughing too hard! I totally know what you mean about snakes i am petrified ick!
Kelsey Smiths last blog post..::The Days Not Over Yet::
May 5th, 2008 @ 6:19 pm
OMG - I can just picture it all now…I am snorting I am laughing so hard…thank you for sharing…I guess I needed to laugh at someone’s misfortune….how rude of me…like looking at a car wreck…oh well, it is funny…and I am glad no one was hurt!
Laura from the Fringes last blog post..Her Left Boob
May 5th, 2008 @ 7:36 pm
Snakes are the worst! I think I would have died of fright if a snake lunged at me the way you described. The only thing worse than snakes for me is eels. Ick!
Jen @ Daily Mish Mashs last blog post..Movie Review Monday
May 5th, 2008 @ 7:53 pm
That chile is a hoot! And I hate walking where I cannot scan for snakes. Grass that covers my feet freaks me out a little.
witchypoos last blog post..Witty Peeps Awarded
May 5th, 2008 @ 7:55 pm
So funny to have Allie laughing at her dad who “runs like a girl”. What a classic to remind her of when she’s older.
I don’t much like the outdoors either. There are creepy crawlies and things that bite out there. Ewwww…
Suzes last blog post..Homework Hell
May 5th, 2008 @ 7:58 pm
I’m with you on this! As much as I want to be outdoorsy, I’m just not. My husband and children could live outside. I don’t even like wind.
Jennifers last blog post..Mother’s Day Gift Guide
May 5th, 2008 @ 8:59 pm
Wow. Poor guy. Talk about a crazy day. The snake would have freaked me out!
Shannanb aka Mommy Bitss last blog post..Man Down! Man Down!
May 5th, 2008 @ 9:12 pm
How hysterically funny! Well … since everyone is okay, I mean
Dawns last blog post..From the Archives - Alex Day 9
May 5th, 2008 @ 9:35 pm
Poor Adam. I am glad he is okay! As for the snake. I hate the little devils. I remember fondly being out in the woods once on a trail. My friend Suzie (who is 95 lbs dripping wet) was walking behind me. I snake slithered in front of me and I pretty much try to crawl up Suzie like a tree. Vastly outweighing her, this didn’t work out well. Ah, memories. Poor snake ran like hell.
janethesanes last blog post..Monday Monday - Weekend Recap
May 5th, 2008 @ 10:19 pm
Oh man! LMAO at Allie! She is hilarious
She would get along with my Ella just fine!
I’m not an outdoorsy person either. I have far too much of an attachment to toilet paper, A/C, and my computer.
So…will you be penciling in his eyebrows until they come in???
Sandy (Momisodes)s last blog post..Birthday Karma
May 5th, 2008 @ 10:22 pm
OMG that is so funny!! I would have died trying not to laugh…how did you do it?
Qweenies last blog post..Wait, What’s going on today??
May 6th, 2008 @ 12:19 pm
Oh my! I’d be running like that, too. I HATE snakes. And I hate that shows like Little Bear and Diego show the kids playing with snakes like they’re best friends. It freaks me out to think of one of my kids just reaching down to pick up a snake. Aigh!
Umm…sorry about the singed hair. That stinks. Literally…burned hairs smells horrible!
peapodsquadmoms last blog post..How did he even do this???
May 6th, 2008 @ 1:00 pm
“did you see dad? he ran like a girl when he saw that snake? just like a girl.”
Funniest thing EVAH.
Honeybells last blog post..The Job I Leave Off My Resume: Chapter 1
May 6th, 2008 @ 3:12 pm
What a great story!
Thanks for stopping by my blog. I will be back to read more here. Thanks for the great laugh!
May 6th, 2008 @ 8:57 pm
I’m glad she wasn’t scared. It’d be sad if she became terrified of snakes due to your reaction.
I only say this because my grandmother was terrified of all snakes - even harmless ones - only because of an overreaction of her own mother when she was a small girl.
Glad you all made it home safe and sound.
castocreationss last blog post..Wordless Wednesday - Digging for Clams
May 7th, 2008 @ 12:50 pm
Ha! That was priceless!!!! Between the snake and the BBQ, maybe your hubby should just stay indoors…
Maureens last blog post..They Say If You Put A Shell To Your Ear…
May 10th, 2008 @ 10:36 pm
You, my dear, are such a great story teller. Yet ANOTHER post that made me laugh out loud. I’m reminded again and again why I keep coming back here for more.
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