The Tin Can Adventures: The Human Trash Target
- May 1st, 2008 6:42 pm
As a teenager, most of my Summer jobs involved working at one of my parent’s businesses. Some of you that have not ever been employed by your own parents might be under the impression that this job was quite cushy. And well, no. That isn’t how it worked out. Your parents know when you can and can’t work. Knowing they relied on you meant no sick day.
One Summer, my mother decided that it would be best if I helped run one of her small restaurants. I was sort of disappointed, because I loved sitting on my ass watching tv and gossiping on the phone or going swimming at one of my friend’s pools. Who wanted a job?
It was an optional job. But I knew she needed me to help her, because the restaurant was a side venture of sorts. So she couldn’t be there due to her actual job, and needed someone there to ensure that things were running correctly.
Mostly, it was a tin can of a place close to a local racing track, a drive-in restaurant or sorts. Think Sonic, except without the speakers and roller skates. But we had pretty much the same menu: ice cream cones, milk shakes, hot dogs, cheeseburgers, etc. From here on out, I think I’ll just refer to the place as ‘The Tin Can’, because it has different owners now and they might not appreciate me dishing out what goes on there for the world wide web.
Anyway:
Every morning, I got up at the crack of dawn and headed over to the Tin Can. I would head home later that evening reeking of french fries, because that’s what being holed up in a small building with two giant deep fryers will do to you. The small building served as a kitchen since the cars either drove up to eat or parked and ate at a picnic table outdoors.
It went like this: A car would pull up, I would go out get the order, and then, I would return back inside to fix the order. I had to cook the orders, because our cooks were generally too lazy. Why not fire them, you ask?
And well, they were usually people who rented houses from us and wouldn’t pay their rent. So they worked in return. By work, I mean they sat on the phone all day (long distance) with their boyfriends that were recently released from incarceration three states away and talk about getting a new perm or how enthralling the latest Harlequin Romance they were attempting was, or maybe they talked about how they spent their evenings watching stolen cable. Who knows?
I did this all of that particular Summer. And the air conditioning in the Tin Can was not very sufficient. Summer in southeastern Kentucky is beyond humid. I can not even being to explain how the air just swallows you when it’s hot outside. It’s thick, unbearable, and sticky. And miserable, to say the least.
As you can imagine, in an establishment of the Tin Can’s caliber there was some sort of adventure almost daily. So I think for the Summer, which has started for me today..even if it doesn’t officially begin until late June, I will post a series of things that occurred at the Tin Can.
Today, I’m going to tell you about the time some asshole kind soul launched his trash at me in the parking lot. Because one day, I was slaving away. Meanwhile, the cook was on the phone with her ex-con. Let’s call the cook Bessie. Anyway, Bessie was on the phone talking about dry humping and Jerry Springer, and I was making a grill full of burgers, when a van pulls up. The van was plastered with a company logo, and the driver was a smiling man that appeared seem rather clean cut and friendly.
(Clean cut and friendly was a very odd combination to receive at the Tin Can.)
I went out to take his order while Bessie segued into her portion of a debate that seemed to be centered around G-Strings vs. Cotton Thongs. Oh, how she educated me.
When I got to the van, the man barked his order at me and informed me he wanted no tomatoes on his hamburger. No tomatoes, check. I headed back inside, and on my way , he stopped me by yelling, " HEY TOOTS!". I walked back toward the van with a look that should have undoubtedly killed, but somehow didn’t and asked him what he wanted.
He just wanted to make sure that I (TOOTS) got the "no tomatoes" part.
So I ran back inside, catching the tail end of the Thong-G String debate, and cooked the order. (G Strings were Bessies choice, if you’re curious. And she was a large woman. A really, really large woman. Like, What’s Eating Gilbert Grape’s mother, Bonnie, large.)
When I brought the food to the man, he asked me to wait a moment before returning to the building. And since I had to wait for him to pay for the order anyway, I gladly obliged. So I stood there for a moment rolling my eyes while he fiddled with something in the back of his van. When he leans back toward me he paid me, but he had this huge bag of trash and an assemblage of discarded fastfood bags in the other.
"Toots," he said again, because one death wish wasn’t enough, "could you throw this away for me."
"No, " I replied, "it isn’t my job to discard your trash. It’s your job."
"You work here don’t you?" he snipped.
And well, de had a point. I did work there. But truly, discarding trash wasn’t my job. I had enough to do already. And at that point, pre-child, I threw no ones trash away but my own, unless it involved picking up litter. Also, my mother understood that handling the Tim Can by myself was tough. She had given me strict instructions to not let anyone walk on me. We had enough customers, and we didn’t need rude ones.
So I replied:
"Yes, I work here. But I’m waitress and a cook. Not a trash girl. Besides, you’re a big boy, you can throw it away. The trash can is only five feet away."
He grimaced at me. Because his mother had failed to teach him manners and probably hadn’t potty trained him either.
I turned around to walk back into the building.
As I was trotting back, proud of myself for standing up to him, I heard a strange sound and felt something slimy hit my back.
I turned around and looked down. The bastard had launched the trash at me. As I looked up to give him a third evil glare and possibly spit fire in his direction, he was pulling out at full speed and driving off.
Even covered in trash juice, as a somewhat believer in karma, I knew it would come back to haunt him one day. Which is why when he came into my husband’s office one day to do business several years later, I smiled at him.
He looked at me like I was someone he once knew.
"You look familiar. Do I know you from somewhere?" he asked.
"Sort of," I replied, "You launched your trash at me at the Tin Can about 8 years ago. Thanks, by the way."
He turned red, and turned around to leave. He still does business with us, and I get a special pleasure out of how stupid he feels every time I see him.
What a piece of work.
May 1st, 2008 @ 7:01 pm
wow, that is an awesome story. Gross for you, but awesome. I love that he showed up later and you got to remind him what he did- ha!
May 1st, 2008 @ 7:44 pm
I love it. What goes around, comes around. It would be so perfect if your husband’s business was a sperm bank.
lceels last blog post..100 Word challenge - fringe, and more
May 1st, 2008 @ 7:53 pm
OH, how I LOVE karma.
I don’t know how you remember all of those details. I can’t remember what was on my taco today.
May 1st, 2008 @ 8:17 pm
Wow. I’m impressed that you didn’t punch him when you saw him again! I don’t know that I would have recognized him, but it was probably a pretty memorable day.
Sadias last blog post..Ode to the Wonder Pets
May 1st, 2008 @ 8:27 pm
DAMN! I LOVE that. What goes around comes around.
One time when I was maybe 12 and riding my bike some guy threw a drink at me. I managed not to fall off my bike, but I never EVER forgot it.
Law Student Hot Mamas last blog post..What Goes Up Must Come Down
May 1st, 2008 @ 9:31 pm
Oh man…I love it!!
Ashley - BossSanderss last blog post..True Story.
May 1st, 2008 @ 9:49 pm
i swear you have the best stories! thanks again for a great read. you never let me down
May 1st, 2008 @ 11:17 pm
Karma Karma Karma! That is HILARIOUS!
I can’t believe he still does business with you! That kind of embarrassment would scare me away for good.
Not that I’ve ever launched trash at someone, but still…
Amanda- VintageDutchGirls last blog post..Special Maternity Request…
May 1st, 2008 @ 11:18 pm
Good for you for standing your ground. What a douchebag!!! Ugh! Karma is wonderful isn’t it??? And how awesome is it that you got to go face to face with him again and remind him of all his douchebag ways? hahahaha. Btw—thanks for your sweet emails. If you have time next week, I’ll shoot you an email with a few questions.
Oh and I couldn’t agree more with Melissa. You always have the BEST stories!
Kandis last blog post..Ladies of Leisure
May 2nd, 2008 @ 12:44 am
Ugh. Toots! What a horrible nickname, and what an asshat he was. What is wrong with people? Yay, karma.
Huckdolls last blog post..I Just Wanna Party When I Grow Up
May 2nd, 2008 @ 1:59 am
Oh, right the hell on, the whole karma thing. That is just awesome. I like to imagine that karma generally does the goes around thing, but to be there as witness when it does after something so blatantly asshole-ish? Icing. My faith in karma has been fully restored.
I cannot wait to hear more stories about that summer. I have a feeling it’s going to be good, like always.
Maggie’s Minds last blog post..Thursday Thirteen 5/1/08 - 15th Edition
May 2nd, 2008 @ 4:16 am
What an asshat! That’s awesome that you get to make him squirm now. I hope he feels like crap.
cyndys last blog post..100 Funnies
May 2nd, 2008 @ 5:21 am
some days believing in that karma is what keeps me going….
MizFits last blog post..Link Love and a Friday FREEBIE!
May 2nd, 2008 @ 8:04 am
I love Karma! What a dickhead! (I almost said asshat, but I saw Cyndy beat me to that funny name.
Nissas last blog post..Mother’s Day Giveaway!
May 2nd, 2008 @ 8:09 am
What a jerk! People who treat restaurant works like crap really bug me… it’s like they need someone to treat like shit to make themselves feel better. Grr.
And I didn’t know you live(d) in Kentucky! I lived in Oldham County until 2 years ago and in Louisville until last year.
Jennifer @ The Cubicle’s Backporchs last blog post..Scene from a relationship- 1
May 2nd, 2008 @ 8:21 am
I think I might have imploded in a fiery cataclysm of senseless rage. But you know what they say–revenge is a dish best served cold…
Jens last blog post..Belle of the Blog: Self-Esteem & Spirituality
May 2nd, 2008 @ 8:45 am
That’s the only thing you could think of to say???
Cautions last blog post..Time for a Job Change?
May 2nd, 2008 @ 9:52 am
Wow! Good for you! I would have been tempted to find something to throw at him, but you took the high road and kept your dignity.
Which probably irked him even more.
Bravo!
Maureens last blog post..How To Embarrass Yourself In 9 Easy Steps
May 2nd, 2008 @ 10:34 am
Good on ya for letting him know what an ass he was and for embarrassng him (8 yrs later) for such rude behavior! Oh the taste of sweet revenge. Gotta love karma.
Photography By Shays last blog post..[simple, beautiful things]
May 2nd, 2008 @ 11:07 am
That is an awesome story.. asswhole…lol
I’m really going to like the Tin Can Series!!
mps last blog post..Can’t do a thing but play
May 2nd, 2008 @ 1:11 pm
Oh my gosh that is priceless! I worked at KFC for a year and it definitely trains you for real life and dealing with jerks. =)
castocreationss last blog post..Trooper Bear and Tiger
May 2nd, 2008 @ 1:35 pm
What. an. A-hole! So glad to hear that karma found it’s way to bite him in the ass later, and you were there to see it.
Sandy (Momisodes)s last blog post..Hai’suck
May 2nd, 2008 @ 1:45 pm
Shoot, if I worked there I would be 800 pounds. I think French fries are the greatest food God ever made…well I guess God really just made the potatoes. THANKS GOD!! Good looking out for my all time favorite food. But basically anything fried I like!!
HAHAHAHAHA!! Karma is a bitch!! Thanks for the awesome story…I can’t wait for the rest of the series.
P.S.
Nice Gilbert reference.
Heathers last blog post..It’s Official…I Have Made It!
May 2nd, 2008 @ 2:25 pm
I love karma. I still cannot believe a grown ass person would throw garbage at another human being for amusement.. people suck.
Kims last blog post..What Moms think about good Dads
May 2nd, 2008 @ 4:50 pm
That ending to the story was perfect. It makes me think of a rule I like to live by, “never burn your bridges”.
Dawns last blog post..May Day
May 2nd, 2008 @ 6:26 pm
You’re HILARIOUS!
Thanks so much for dropping by, now I know where you are I’ll be back! Xxx
Bexs last blog post..Some More Stuff From When We Were Crashed…
May 2nd, 2008 @ 7:23 pm
LMAO at your karma.
My favorite dive bar is called the Rusty Bucket. Funny. I also worked at my parents business and totally get the no calling in sick part. It sucked.
OHmommys last blog post..Out of the mouth of Lola…
May 2nd, 2008 @ 8:58 pm
That’s classic! Nothing quite like making someone feel like a dope over and over and over again every time you see him.
As for working for your parents, I did too… can’t slack off. What’s worse, I sassed my dad one day and he responded “Just because you’re my daughter doesn’t mean I can’t fire you.” Enough said.
Nicoles last blog post..Mother’s Day Photo Contest
May 3rd, 2008 @ 9:28 am
I so love your stories! What a jerk that guy was….
Pop on over to Pink Lemonade - you’ve been tagged!
Pink Lemonade Lizs last blog post..The 7 most usless facts about me…
May 3rd, 2008 @ 1:31 pm
Oh, I love how karma will come back and bite people on the ass… that is fabulous!
Tara R.s last blog post..Scrolling Saturdays
May 3rd, 2008 @ 1:31 pm
Paybacks are a bitch, huh?
Thanks for stopping by my blog. Your little lady is adorable! My little Lu has curly red hair like your sweetie, and I too am head-over-heels in love with it!
Lisas last blog post..Dat Good!
May 3rd, 2008 @ 1:43 pm
Great story! You definitely are a sassy one - I love it!
Thanks for stopping by my blog.
Jennifers last blog post..Fro Me To You: Happy Birthday Sis
May 3rd, 2008 @ 3:34 pm
What a funny story! You turned him around and bit him in the ass! Figuratively speaking…
Toots!? Seriously!?
Tammys last blog post..Flashback Friday - Our wedding day
May 3rd, 2008 @ 4:13 pm
What a freaking jerk! I used to work at a pet store in Northern Kentucky, and I had a customer throw a dead fish a our front window. People are annoying.
christys last blog post..I just want to waste a few minutes of your time.
May 3rd, 2008 @ 11:50 pm
Awe man . . . one can only WISH for that moment. It is like seeing the guy who drives like an ass, gives you the finger after cutting you off, and a couple miles later you see him pulled over to the side of the road with a cop asking for his license. LOVE KARMA . . .
LaskiGals last blog post..Just a Mom?
May 4th, 2008 @ 1:16 am
You have an awesome memory!
Can you remind me to take out the garbage bins on Wednesday night, and to take the washing out of the machine in about 24 minutes?
Cool, ta.
Oh and I have a bag of trash I need disposing of, sure you would enjoy that.
Kelleys last blog post..The 10 Commandments
May 4th, 2008 @ 9:30 am
I so hope you snuck tomatoes onto his order!!
Megs last blog post..Flashback Friday - Landscape Look
May 4th, 2008 @ 3:30 pm
Sometimes that Karma bitch works for the good side. Love it!
Burgh Babys last blog post..Filling the Void
May 4th, 2008 @ 4:30 pm
What a jerk! I can just imagine how he treats his wife and kids at home. If he found anyone stupid enough to marry him!
Friglets last blog post..What is wrong with us?
May 4th, 2008 @ 5:02 pm
Wow! What a jerk! I’m so glad you recognized him years later!
Beth from The Funny Farms last blog post..Auctions, Rain, Skulls, Concert, and Whiskey
May 4th, 2008 @ 8:45 pm
To call him an idiot would be putting it mildly. You showed remarkable restraint, BTW.
Yup, what goes around, comes around.
Karen MEG (Pomtini)s last blog post..Weekly Winners #20
May 4th, 2008 @ 9:21 pm
I just found your blog and wanted to tell you that story was hilarious. “Karma’s a bitch and has a one way ticket.” Haha.
Mandis last blog post..a moment of silence
May 5th, 2008 @ 11:00 pm
That was freakin funny. Most of us aren’t lucky enough to have that sense of retribution…
Lisas last blog post..What’s so wrong with prostitution?
May 24th, 2008 @ 3:51 pm
Ugh. I hate that he even does business with your husband…a real kick in the karma would be to boot him.
And like everyone else, I can’t believe you remember him.
Christines last blog post..Told you I’m shameless