Crazy Searches Revealed
- April 4th, 2008 10:04 pm
Recently, I was perusing the various search terms that have served as a vehicle for people to arrive at this site. As usual, some of them are pretty outrageous, and all are quite hilarious.
- ‘Poop in my mouth‘ – You know, I’m wondering if this was a question or a demand. Was the person like, “Poop in my mouth?” or “POOP IN MY MOUTH!” I’m terribly curious. Either way, I’m sure the person did not stay for very long, because there is no pooping in mouths going on here.
- ‘What to eat to get leg hair’ -Oh, what a poor soul. I imagine this was some poor pubescent boy longing to have hair on his legs as long as his classmates. At least I hope so. Just in case he is searching again, *Cantaloupe will aid in leg hair growth.
- metallic pants - Once again, no! I will never wear or recommend metallic pants. I don’t care who, what, when, where, or why people occasionally claim they are in style, fashionable, or attractive in any way. I refuse to ever look like the tinsel of a Christmas tree. Just say no to metallic pants.
- slutty sorority songs-None here, but I do have a post about the time I dropped out of a sorority. I think it’s a good read.
- how to clean poop off of a sofa- Yes, unfortunately, I am familiar with the area of poop on sofas. And it was my former neighbor.
- pictures of red headed indians- Okay, for some reason, this one made me laugh really, really hard.
- i always watch secretly when my mom wears bra- I don’t even know where to start here. Send this person help, immediately.
- sleepwalking peed in my shoe- Okay, okay. I know why this one brought them here.
- wife tasers husband- This is always a possiblity. See search below.
- husband is messy- Um, yes, yes, and yes.
- tailbone strained from shoveling snow-no, you will find none of that here. But she is familiar with snow shoveling injuries.
- snoop dog best friend growing up- I have no idea about this one, dear sirs. However, I will shamelessly admit that I watch his show about being a parent on E! I will also shamelessly admit that I like the E! channel.
- don’t diss me sister- I love that someone searched this and it brought them here. I say the word ‘diss’ like it is going out of style, when in fact, it has probably been out of style for umpteen years.
- imitation genitalia-hahahahahahahaha.
*This is a complete lie. I have no idea if Cantaloupe would aid in leg hair growth, but I seriously doubt it. Someone had to give that poor boy some hope.
PS. If you haven’t entered my contest, there is still time. You can always donate the gift card to charity if you aren’t interested in it. 
April 4th, 2008 @ 11:27 pm
People are SO weird.
I posted a “pregnant” man a few months ago, so now I’m getting tons of hits from people looking for that real pregnant man.
I also get people looking for stuff about boogers.
A Whole Lot of Nothing / Angie’s last blog post..Kid’s Birthday Parties SUCK
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April 4th, 2008 @ 11:56 pm
mine are so disgusting I am reticent to put them on my blog, being such a wholesome and innocent place that it is…
Kelley’s last blog post..Just give me the freaking envelope asshat.
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April 5th, 2008 @ 4:26 am
hilarious…some of this is some sick and twisted stuff…but, it’s funny.
thanks for all your sweetness on my blog. you really are fantastic!
HolleeAnn’s last blog post..Welcome Home Jordan!
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April 5th, 2008 @ 7:00 am
http://shamelesslysassy.com/2008/02/18/cleek-the-street-thug-allies-best-friend/ is the Snoop Dog one (check the comments).
http://shamelesslysassy.com/category/the-ginger/ is where the mom bra thing is.
Enjoy.
PS, Kelley, post them! I wanna see!
Solomon Broad’s last blog post..The “Things I’m Grateful For” April Contest
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April 5th, 2008 @ 7:27 am
You should be aware that your comments are indexed, not just your posts, so that may account for some of the search terms. Most of mine are about farts and poop and how to make someone horny without touching them.
They’re funny, and sad at the same time.
witchypoo’s last blog post..Hamburger College
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April 5th, 2008 @ 7:44 am
Mine are always kinda gross, not funny like these. These are hilarious.
Missy’s last blog post..Channeling her Inner Michael Jackson
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April 5th, 2008 @ 9:51 am
That is some serious weird. I am always amazed at how people type in complete sentences instead of phrases, etc. What is with the mom wearing the bra? Ugh!
HRH’s last blog post..Open oven, Insert Holly’s head…
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April 5th, 2008 @ 10:37 am
I must have some really boring posts, I get nothing like this on search terms. I need to step it up.
Tara R.’s last blog post..Scrolling Saturdays
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April 5th, 2008 @ 10:49 am
Oh my those can’t really be serious. Wait a minute this world is sick and weird so I guess it is!!
Love your blog!
On the hunt..
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April 5th, 2008 @ 3:19 pm
Oh it’s always wacky isn’t it? I wrote a post about how Daddy Hung The Moon and my most frequent search topic from Google that leads to my site is “hung daddies”. Gross!
HappyCampers’s last blog post..Saturday Quote
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April 5th, 2008 @ 4:24 pm
LOL! I love crazy searches, they always crack me up.
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April 5th, 2008 @ 5:24 pm
I remember the sharter. That story was hilarious.
lceel’s last blog post..Hidden, a 100 Word Challenge
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April 5th, 2008 @ 5:28 pm
i love those google analytic type things. it makes one realize how many sick perverted type people there are in this world!!
i’m cracking up, btw…you have a google ad for single asian woman looking for men on the bottom of your blog!!
xoxo
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April 5th, 2008 @ 7:28 pm
What to eat to get leg hair? LMAO!
Maria’s last blog post..Bulleted Bullshit.
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April 5th, 2008 @ 7:51 pm
How about what to eat to LOSE leg hair??? !!
Beth from The Funny Farm’s last blog post..Let Us All Go Road Blogging!
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April 5th, 2008 @ 9:45 pm
Oh, wow, I fell out of my chair on some of those. Too funny!!
I read some of the embarrassing stories people are sharing and they’re great! I can’t wait to see who wins.
Rhea’s last blog post..The secret behind my successful soccer superstardom
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April 7th, 2008 @ 6:36 am
there are some crazy sick people out there, who i find very hilarious. i never get crazy searches, just the normal stuff.
jess’s last blog post..I have not forgotten!
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April 13th, 2008 @ 7:06 pm
Hilarious and seriously gross at the same time!
Melinda’s last blog post..Am I crooked?
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