Recently, I was perusing the various search terms that have served as a vehicle for people to arrive at this site. As usual, some of them are pretty outrageous, and all are quite hilarious.
- ‘Poop in my mouth‘ - You know, I’m wondering if this was a question or a demand. Was the person like, “Poop in my mouth?” or “POOP IN MY MOUTH!” I’m terribly curious. Either way, I’m sure the person did not stay for very long, because there is no pooping in mouths going on here.
- ‘What to eat to get leg hair’ -Oh, what a poor soul. I imagine this was some poor pubescent boy longing to have hair on his legs as long as his classmates. At least I hope so. Just in case he is searching again, *Cantaloupe will aid in leg hair growth.
- metallic pants - Once again, no! I will never wear or recommend metallic pants. I don’t care who, what, when, where, or why people occasionally claim they are in style, fashionable, or attractive in any way. I refuse to ever look like the tinsel of a Christmas tree. Just say no to metallic pants.
- slutty sorority songs-None here, but I do have a post about the time I dropped out of a sorority. I think it’s a good read.
- how to clean poop off of a sofa- Yes, unfortunately, I am familiar with the area of poop on sofas. And it was my former neighbor.
- pictures of red headed indians- Okay, for some reason, this one made me laugh really, really hard.
- i always watch secretly when my mom wears bra- I don’t even know where to start here. Send this person help, immediately.
- sleepwalking peed in my shoe- Okay, okay. I know why this one brought them here.
- wife tasers husband- This is always a possiblity. See search below.
- husband is messy- Um, yes, yes, and yes.
- tailbone strained from shoveling snow-no, you will find none of that here. But she is familiar with snow shoveling injuries.
- snoop dog best friend growing up- I have no idea about this one, dear sirs. However, I will shamelessly admit that I watch his show about being a parent on E! I will also shamelessly admit that I like the E! channel.
- don’t diss me sister- I love that someone searched this and it brought them here. I say the word ‘diss’ like it is going out of style, when in fact, it has probably been out of style for umpteen years.
- imitation genitalia-hahahahahahahaha.
*This is a complete lie. I have no idea if Cantaloupe would aid in leg hair growth, but I seriously doubt it. Someone had to give that poor boy some hope.
PS. If you haven’t entered my contest, there is still time. You can always donate the gift card to charity if you aren’t interested in it. 
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