I’m having a really bad day, and bad days are rare for me. I normally eat sunshine, poop rainbows, and sing love songs about teddy bears. But today, it’s just not happening.

Mostly due to the fact that I find it frustrating when people are unable to differentiate between procrastination and carelessness. Procrastination is putting something off that you actually intend to do. However, carelessness can be putting something off because you never intend to do it.

I’m not knocking procrastination. I am its Queen.

I am,however, knocking procrastination as a form of carelessness.

To me, it is just irritating that a person might act as if they were procrastinating something they never intended to do. For instance, it might be saying you were going to throw a giant brick 20 ft later today, when you have no actual intention of throwing it to begin with.

(I don’t know what the hell a throwing a brick has anything to do with this, but it seemed like a partially tangible example. Roll with it.)

It’s just as simple as saying that you are not interested in doing something. It’s just as simple as saying that you have no intention of doing it. But giving me a 10-fold lame excuse involving doing it later, when that really isn’t going to happen is quite immature. Not only is it immature, it’s fucking exhausting.

I’m tired of hearing excuses for things that aren’t going to happen. It’s either yes or no. There is no “maybe later” for something that isn’t going to happen. Because, hell, it wasn’t going to happen in the first place. So how will it happen later? If it wasn’t ever going to happen, then it happening later is an impossibility.

Saying you’ll do something you don’t actually have true intentions of doing is simply a lie. A lie.

Thankyouverymuch.

I’m just fed up.

I need a nap.

Also, if you came here for a laugh but were let down by this strange combination of melancholy and rage, you should go check out all of the embarassing stories submitted to my contest so far. They are all pee-your-pants funny. Click here for laughs.

My daughter has a history of mumbling funny and incoherent things in her sleep. It is almost a guarantee that if Allie wakes up in the midst of sleep she will mumble something hilarious.

A few nights ago this occurred:

“MOOOOOOOOOOM!!!”

“Yes, Allie?”

“I was just making sure that my Daddy isn’t going to jail.” (dead serious.)

“Um, No. Not to my knowledge, I don’t believe your dad is in any danger of being jailed. No jail for daddy.”

“Okay. I was just seein’ if he was going to jail.”

“No, Allie. No jail.”

The whole time I was thinking that it might actually be here  mommy  that could  be the one going to jail if daddy doesn’t start assisting in the packing. Because hey, I am not the owner of the household man-suits.

And then my thoughts progressed to WTF? And I hate to break out the W-T-F on the world wide web, even if it is just via capital letters. ‘WTF’ means business. Because, seriously, WTF?

But really, where do kids get this stuff? The subtleties of simple conversation are amazing sometimes. And maybe I’m wrong, but I find my toddler waking up in the middle of the night wondering if her by-the-book , law abiding citizen of a father was heading off to the clink quite hilarious.

I suppose it wouldn’t have been funny if my reassurance had not been enough, and she had segued into a midnight blur of toddler worry. But she didn’t, and I’m thankful.

Either way, I think this is the result of  all  of that time she’s spending with Cleek? I knew she was a bad influence from day one.