You might be curious as to how one goes about attempting to accept crazy relatives, or maybe not. Either way, I’m going to let you in on it. Because honestly, if you’ve got crazies like 80’s Lady ringing your phone off the hook and bustin’ in your door at 10 p.m to tell you something stupid, then you need these steps.
1.) Denial and Isolation: At first, you may completely deny that you are related to this person by blood or marriage. It may seemed like fate dealt you a bad hand. Additionally, you might isolate yourself from the looney tunes. (Which, honestly, in some cases might be for the better..)
You might be saying to yourself, “Surely, this isn’t happening to me?”
Denial is particularly easy when they invite you attend their child’s birthday party…in a bar. (I promise this story is coming soon, and it’s so beautiful and completely reinforces the point.)
2.)Anger: Next, you might become deeply upset that you’ve been permanently linked to an idiot. Whether you were born into the family or it was a marital inheritance, it easy to be angry that that karma has decided to bit you in the hiney. Trust me, I understand.
Example: “This is SO not fair! Why did I get saddled with this basket case??”
This anger part really comes into play when the crazy relative fakes illnesses and calls every one in the family to let them know they have something bizarre like, “Oompa Loompa Syndrome”.
3.) Bargaining: At some point, you might begin making bargains, asking, “If I do *insert random good deeds*, will you please make *insert name of crazy relative* forget that I exist?”
Another example: “Just let me make it through this one family function…”
While attending the child’s birthday party–at the bar, I made several bargains about rewarding myself.
4.) The Blues: Maybe at some point, you become numb to the ridiculousness.
Example: “Ugh, *groan, spit kick!*”
Like last night, when 80’s Lady showed up at my house, because I wasn’t answering her calls just tell some new drama that has occurred in her life. After that, I developed the blues. I decided to become numb to her. Until, I woke up to her calling me again.
5.) Acceptance: Eventually, the anger and sadness you have as a result of feeling sorry for yourself for getting saddled with the looney tune will wear off. In the end, you have simply have to accept the fact that you are indeed related to the idiot. (Totally a lie.)
Example, “It’s going to be okay. Maybe they’ll get committed.”
I wish I had an example for this. But unfortunately, 80’s Lady has yet to put on her straight jacket.
I have some crazy relatives, but thankfully no one quite like 80’s Lady. I can’t wait to hear the birthday in a bar story.
janethesane’s last blog post..Fiction Friday - My Second Chance, part 2
March 14th, 2008 at 11:02 pm
I have this crazy relative, ummm it’s my mother. She called me to tell me my brother was dying of brain cancer, but it turned out he just had a headache. I moved from Seattle to Dallas over this one to see said brother before he kicked the bucket. She also makes me park my car out back when visiting her so the neighbors don’t see since she is embarrassed I drive a car as old as, wait for it, ONE YEAR! Do you think if I go live in Alaska she’d find me?
March 15th, 2008 at 12:05 am
Ohhh, I feel really lucky that no crazy relatives have come out of the woodwork. Yet.
Huckdoll’s last blog post..“If you treat a sick child like an adult and a sick adult like a child, everything usually works out pretty well”
March 15th, 2008 at 12:15 am
OMG yes yes and yes! You are so spot on!
March 15th, 2008 at 12:33 am
I’m a lucky girl. Lots of mine are nutty, but there is a huge difference between the kind of nutty I have versus actual complete batshittedness like 80’s Lady. It’s so much fun when you pass her along to all of us though (since we can just move on after a chuckle).
Maggie’s last blog post..Haiku Friday 3/14/08
March 15th, 2008 at 12:51 am
I love 80’s Lady stories. Tell us some today!
Sister Honey Bunch’s last blog post..It’s time for you to meet my boyfriend.
March 15th, 2008 at 8:17 am
I’m glad my in-laws live far enough away that ‘dropping in’ hasn’t yet been an issue.
Sue’s last blog post..The U Comment, I Follow Craziness
March 15th, 2008 at 8:56 am
hilarious. and sad. what an odd combination, but i LOVED this post.
Bargaining…the hardest step of all!
HolleeAnn’s last blog post..Silly Girl
March 15th, 2008 at 10:31 am
I’ve met about half of my boyfriend’s extended family, and they’re all about as crazy as mine, so the two should mix well.
Michelle’s last blog post..Things learned #1
March 15th, 2008 at 12:00 pm
Well, We all have either crazy relatives or those that are just humiliating. If you come from my part of the world and are unfortunate you may have relatives that are more like the Cable Guy than Rhett Butler . Remember we can choose our friends but not our relatives.
I love my ummmm female parent, but I was always eager to get her out of the airport as soon as I could when she came for a visit. Those people who walked out with her from the plane always started laughing when they passed me . While in the car on the way to my house of course she tells me all about the nice people she sat with and how she told them all about me in detail for the 6 hours of flying time.
I was lucky they only laughed as they walked by.
Yup the hardest ones are the relative we actually love.
Onedia’s last blog post..HAVE YOU SEEN FLOOG RAMBLING?
March 15th, 2008 at 3:14 pm
OMG!!! So sorry to hear about 80’s lady. I can relate to your post. I have in-laws that could rival any guests on Jerry Springer! SERIOUSLY! I think I’ve gone through every one of these steps. Finally in 2006, we packed up and moved 3000 miles away….Were staying put until they all get straight jackets!
Sandy (Momisodes)’s last blog post..Forget It! I’m Not Waiting Until Spring- Showin’ Off
March 15th, 2008 at 9:43 pm
DH has a crazy ass aunt that at every family event she comes in costume. Whether it’s a costume party or not. And whether she’s invited or not!!! LOL
I just found your blog and absolutely love it!!!
What Happens Next’s last blog post..All The Pretty Jewels…and a Surprise!
March 15th, 2008 at 10:24 pm
So far I am lucky and don’t have any overtly crazy family.
Yet.
Veronica’s last blog post..Weekly Winners!
March 16th, 2008 at 4:15 am
Maybe 80’s lady and my mother in-law could become friends?
Jessica’s last blog post..No title.
March 16th, 2008 at 10:19 am
Oooh, too many to count on one hand.
Noble Pig’s last blog post..Three Things the Wild Boar Has Never Forgiven Me For…Whatever!
March 16th, 2008 at 10:33 am
LOVE it! But the more I think about it, the more I wonder if the in-laws think I am the crazy one. Maybe I am…
Caution’s last blog post..The Postal System: My New BFF
March 16th, 2008 at 1:32 pm
I’m really fortunate that I get along with all my in-laws. And, that includes my husbands SEVEN sisters!
Momo Fali’s last blog post..Grandma Needs To Carry A Flask
March 16th, 2008 at 3:23 pm
I relate to this, no pun intended. That is why I moved away when the employer offered a transfer! When I bought my first house, I made my mother promise she would NOT give out my address or phone number to the crazies.
I didn’t want the 3am phone calls or siblings hiding out from the law/ex boyfriend/bookie/drug dealers.
Suzanne’s last blog post..How Tired Am I?
March 16th, 2008 at 3:37 pm
HA! Unfortunately, my dear husband decided to tell all his relatives about my blog. So I can dish the dirt on them.
But, oh, if I could…
Jenni’s last blog post..Haiku Stuff My Face
March 16th, 2008 at 6:44 pm
I could tell you stories that would make 80’s lady look like a nun. Seriously. Crazy is the middle name of everyone in my hubby’s family.
Nice digs ya got here, btw.
kelly’s last blog post..When I Was A Boy
March 16th, 2008 at 8:21 pm
I was going to make a comment, but Dexter just came on.
lceel’s last blog post..art class painting decision
March 16th, 2008 at 9:00 pm
I am bitter I can’t share my crazy family stories-I have no doubt you would enjoy immensely. But, alas, they all read my blog and no amount of covert titles, they would quickly decipher.
Just imagine: Bi Polar/manic depressives, over achieving power broker aunt her daughter empties bank account for ‘coke party’, Crazy Uncle throws plates of food across rooms…….oh its soo good.
TRACI’s last blog post..Sunday Devotional
March 17th, 2008 at 8:42 am
Ah, crazy relatives. Can’t live with ‘em, can’t… yeah, can’t live with ‘em. I’ve mostly accepted mine, but I never cease to be amazed by their antics when I see them. Limited exposure has been the key to my success thus far.
Jen’s last blog post..Practicing Detachment
March 17th, 2008 at 9:13 am
Oh, how I wish I could post about my crazy relatives sometimes, but I just know some of them would read it and it would cause even more craziness!
P.S. Bloggy love is waiting for you over at my place!
MamaWise’s last blog post..Thank you all around!
March 17th, 2008 at 10:42 am
Just FYI, your layout is looking wonky in my browser… Firefox on Mac, 1440 x 900 resolution.
Michelle’s last blog post..Watching kids’ TV all day
March 17th, 2008 at 1:54 pm
WOW, you’ve just hit on a brilliant idea that I hadn’t thought of before…denial… It never actually occured to me to just plain old deny that I’m related to them. It’s my next plan!
I can hardly wait to hear about the birthday party in the bar!!
Pink Lemonade Liz’s last blog post..The Trouble with Shrinkie…
March 17th, 2008 at 2:47 pm
I am so lucky that my inlaws are NORMAL.
Also, I’m still trying to come up with an embarrassing story for your contest…no such luck yet.
Jennifer’s last blog post..Erin Go Bra(gh)-less
March 17th, 2008 at 3:50 pm
I loved this! I want to print it out and mail it to my own family on behalf of my husband.
Mrs. Flinger’s last blog post..Mrs. Flinger: Raw
March 17th, 2008 at 6:17 pm
Wait, are you saying “Oompa Loompa Syndrome” isn’t a real thing?
Seriously, having been saddled with a set of crazy relatives via marital inheritance, I can totally relate. Oh, yeah, I could tell ya’ some stories…
dianeinjapan’s last blog post..Reality Overload
March 18th, 2008 at 10:44 pm
First time on your blog and I *heart* it. You are too funny!
This post appeals to me. My In-Laws are my crazy relatives that often make me experience the above noted emotions! lol
Kendra’s last blog post..Thank You
March 27th, 2008 at 1:12 pm