You might be curious as to how one goes about attempting to accept crazy relatives, or maybe not. Either way, I’m going to let you in on it. Because honestly, if you’ve got crazies like 80’s Lady ringing your phone off the hook and bustin’ in your door at 10 p.m to tell you something stupid, then you need these steps.
1.) Denial and Isolation: At first, you may completely deny that you are related to this person by blood or marriage. It may seemed like fate dealt you a bad hand. Additionally, you might isolate yourself from the looney tunes. (Which, honestly, in some cases might be for the better..)
You might be saying to yourself, “Surely, this isn’t happening to me?”
Denial is particularly easy when they invite you attend their child’s birthday party…in a bar. (I promise this story is coming soon, and it’s so beautiful and completely reinforces the point.)
2.)Anger: Next, you might become deeply upset that you’ve been permanently linked to an idiot. Whether you were born into the family or it was a marital inheritance, it easy to be angry that that karma has decided to bit you in the hiney. Trust me, I understand.
Example: “This is SO not fair! Why did I get saddled with this basket case??”
This anger part really comes into play when the crazy relative fakes illnesses and calls every one in the family to let them know they have something bizarre like, “Oompa Loompa Syndrome”.
3.) Bargaining: At some point, you might begin making bargains, asking, “If I do *insert random good deeds*, will you please make *insert name of crazy relative* forget that I exist?”
Another example: “Just let me make it through this one family function…”
While attending the child’s birthday party–at the bar, I made several bargains about rewarding myself.
4.) The Blues: Maybe at some point, you become numb to the ridiculousness.
Example: “Ugh, *groan, spit kick!*”
Like last night, when 80’s Lady showed up at my house, because I wasn’t answering her calls just tell some new drama that has occurred in her life. After that, I developed the blues. I decided to become numb to her. Until, I woke up to her calling me again.
5.) Acceptance: Eventually, the anger and sadness you have as a result of feeling sorry for yourself for getting saddled with the looney tune will wear off. In the end, you have simply have to accept the fact that you are indeed related to the idiot. (Totally a lie.)
Example, “It’s going to be okay. Maybe they’ll get committed.”
I wish I had an example for this. But unfortunately, 80’s Lady has yet to put on her straight jacket.
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