My husband and I both have very dark hair, and as you’ve seen, our daughter has brilliant red locks. For some reason, the following visible equation has always been a difficult concept for many:
+
=
Some of you with twins have posted about all of the insane things you get asked, and I thought I should share with you some of the crazy things I get asked as a brunette with a redheaded daughter.
One question we usually get asked is, “how did she get red hair?” And well, obviously, it just grew right out of her head. She got it the same way that all of the rest of us got our hair. It just sprung right out. Granted it was about two years before she got hair, but it grew just like anyone elses. I’m not sure if they want me to explain the genetics of it or what?
Next, we are generally questions about red hair in our families. And yes, we both have several redheaded relatives.
Then, some jokester always throws in the redheaded milk/mailman joke. Truth be told, our mail person really does have red hair. But she’s a a lady, and not a gentleman. So unless my husband was rendez-vousing with her and somehow managed to secretly implant the resulting zygote into my uterus–then no, that isn’t how it happened.
The worst encounter like this of all of them is when some wise guy looks Adam and says, “you sure she’s yours?” And the proceeds to wink in the most obnoxiously way possible. ugh. The wink is way creepier than the joking implication of her paternity.
(Winkers gross me out, which is another post entirely.)
Finally, the best answer to the posed question is the one Allie gives people. When people ask her where she got her red hair, she answers by simply telling them, “Kroger”.
Do you get any annoying questions about your child? Or yourself?
Ugh. It’s pretty rude of people to actually ask about the mail man. I thought it was pretty common for red-headedness to skip generations.
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March 13th, 2008 at 1:21 pm
i don’t get that question but check out my blog b/c i just shared a post about how red heads are going extinct !!! i am serious. i forgot who wrote it, but i have it on my extra extra list.
March 13th, 2008 at 1:59 pm
Love it!
She sure is a cutie!
When people see my 4yr old, 3 yr old and 1 yr old they always ask,” WOW, you must be busy, eh?’
Or when they see the thrid is a girl: You must be happy you finally got your girl!
ERRRRRrrrrrr hate them both!
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March 13th, 2008 at 2:22 pm
Ugh. The wink. Ew.
I try to take comments in the spirit intended, but that doesn’t always make it better. Sometimes I think people either say the first thing on their broken minds, are just trying to make small talk but are doing so awkwardly and inappropriately, or they actually think that they are so very clever and unique to have come up with something you’ve already heard a bazillion times. In any case, dumb comments get annoying. Very.
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March 13th, 2008 at 3:29 pm
I have blond sections in my beard, but none of my relations has blond(e) hair. It’s very odd.
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March 13th, 2008 at 4:13 pm
The things people have the courage to ask, lol. It amazes me!
She is so adorable though!
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March 13th, 2008 at 4:16 pm
She is so adorable! And people are just ignorant, huh?
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March 13th, 2008 at 4:37 pm
I can understand the curiosity, but there is a limit to the types of questions. We have people ask us where our son gets all of his hair and it’s like “Hello? Do you NOT see ALL THIS DAMN HAIR ON MY HEAD?!” It’s one of those obvious answer types of questions… Jeff likes to tell people Ethan took his.. haha
By the way, I’m pretty partial to your daughter and her lovely hair! I’m glad she had a birthday redo… No one should ever be sick or miserable on their birthday!
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March 13th, 2008 at 5:33 pm
My parents are blonde and black haired. With four kids I am the only brunette, then there are two blondes and one flaming redhead. She isn’t strawberry blonde, it is very red. I used to have friends ask me where the red hair came from and say something about the mailman. I always thought that was stupid. My Grandmother was Irish and she had two red head sisters. I know where the red came from. I always thought it was interesting that we had all hair colours available in our family.
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March 13th, 2008 at 5:59 pm
My Mother-in-law asks me where my son gets his blond hair from. Although her other two grandkids are also blondies, it’s somehow something that only runs in the daughters-in-law’s families. Right. She’s just mad because they aren’t redheads (My husband, his brothers, and his parents are all redheads).
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March 13th, 2008 at 6:55 pm
Next time just answer something outrageous. I dye it… we found her like that…She’s a child by my ex-lover… Lord knows. Leave them all googly-eyed. In the end, that is what they are looking for, something a little shocking. I’d say, just go ahead and oblige.
She is a sweet looking little girl and very similar to your husband in looks. She even smiles like him. Just gorgeous.
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March 13th, 2008 at 7:20 pm
Genetics like to make you look silly.
We get the milkman, mailman thing a lot.
I have extremely thick, wavy auburn hair. Hubs has DARK dark curly hair. Princess has board straight, silky blonde locks. Yeah. We hear those jokes way too much.
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March 13th, 2008 at 7:44 pm
She is adorable! As a child I had extremely blond, to the point of being white, hair. Both my parents had dark hair. (I was adopted, but that’s not something you can tell by looking at someone, obviously.) We had our share of comments. Now it’s so dark, not quite black, but close. I just colored it, red, ironically!
March 13th, 2008 at 7:47 pm
I get the “he looks exactly like you” comments. And, that is a little tiny bit insulting to think I look boyish.
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March 13th, 2008 at 8:58 pm
My daughter has big blue eyes and I have hazel, her daddy has brown. I feel your pain…I can not tell you how many times I have heard “how on earth did she get those eyes?”
Btw…I am looking at a tiny little picture, but besides that hair even I can tell she is a pretty good spitting image of her daddy…in fact she is a good 50/50 kid lol
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March 13th, 2008 at 10:00 pm
She has beautiful hair! I’m jealous that my girls don’t have her brilliant red curls.
When my first popped out, I was totally shocked that her hair was so dark. My hair is really blond, but my husband’s hair is really dark. For whatever reason, it never occurred to me that I’d have a dark-haired kid.
I got my hair on my 2nd girl, so we’re all even.
March 13th, 2008 at 10:48 pm
she may not have your hair but she sure has your grin!
I have a friend with a red-headed daughter and people ask her if her daughter is stubborn because of her hair??? weird!
I am always amazed when people ask me for details of how my girls were conceived…. “well we had sex - you know when a man loves a woman very much…” ROFL. Funny thing is they are always embarrassed when I start talking about sex - but hello you are total stranger and just asked me about it!
People are odd!
March 13th, 2008 at 10:53 pm
Oh my goodness- Kroger- that’s so funny.
3 out of 4 sisters in my family had white blond hair. 1 had brown. People would always ask her where she got her brown hair. Her answer: the milkman.
Our dad is a dairy farmer. Strangers didn’t know that.
March 13th, 2008 at 11:03 pm
I’m a fellow Bloggie loser, stopping by to say hi, and I decided not to wink in this comment
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March 14th, 2008 at 12:32 am
When I was pregnant with our 4th (in 4 years, no less) I had two separate people stop our family to point at my husband and ask, “Are they ALL HIS?”
I always looked at them like they had lost their minds. But what I really wanted to say was,
“If they weren’t, would I tell YOU, especially with him standing right here?”
My mother in law asks the other incredibly stupid question. “WHERE did he get that curly hair? And those Roman features?” (um, from ME, his MOTHER. Remember ME?)
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March 14th, 2008 at 6:04 am
I used to tell people, “These guys are German, Irish, Bohemian, Indian, Pennsylvania Dutch, Swedish, English, Mexican and Scot. I’m just glad they came out with all the proper pieces in all the proper places.”
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March 14th, 2008 at 7:03 am
My oldest daughter has red hair.
My husband had red hair as a child — he went salt and pepper early so his friends don’t do this.. but we moved.
**sigh**
And people in the country — who don’t know you– can be so dense.
March 14th, 2008 at 7:40 am
Kroger! She’s a keeper. Red hair and all!
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March 14th, 2008 at 10:01 am
Both of my parents are very dark (dark hair, eyes, and complexion). I had blonde hair, blue eyes, and very fair skin (my hair’s not quite blonde anymore, but still very light). As a kid my dad wasn’t around much so often it would be my sister, my mom, and I out together and people would say “Oh this one must look like her daddy” (which clearly I don’t) and of course the stupid milkman jokes (soooo old!). Even now when i show people pictures of my sister they don’t always believe me.
March 14th, 2008 at 10:40 am
Despite the red hair, she looks so much like you and your husband. It’s very obvious in the face that she is YOURS! Stupid people!
I’ve had people ask about my son because has has very light brown hair whereas my ex husband and I are both quite dark, as is our daughter. Two of my brothers have light brown hair, as did the ex when he was little…is it really that hard to imagine he might pick up some different genetics and be an individual?
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March 14th, 2008 at 10:55 am
I don’t have kids, but I get questions about myself all the time because I’m tall.
- Hey, how tall are you?
- Did you ever model?
- Are you really good at basketball?
- How about volleyball?
- How tall are your parents?
The answers: I’m 5′9. I realize how shocking that is. No, I never modeled. I went to college instead. No, I’m terrible at all sports–I can barely walk and chew gum at the same time. My parents are normal sized–5′3 and 5′11. I don’t know how it happened.
Sigh. People are so effing RUDE.
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March 14th, 2008 at 12:20 pm
I’m sure they’re just trying to make conversation - at my house, three of us are dark brunettes and little Lauren is a blondie - go figure!
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March 14th, 2008 at 2:38 pm
Right? Like people loose their damn minds when they see something they think doesn’t make sense (when in reality it does) they just blurt out whatever they feel- and you wanna scream “Think about it!!!!”
People have asked me how my daughter has such blue eyes and light hair, her father had both-which makes them seem even more stupid, but it’s like…..hello! We don’t all come out looking like our parent’s identical twin!
March 14th, 2008 at 2:52 pm
When they ask you about it, say “Oh, I guess you didn’t learn basic genetics in high school biology… Sorry, but I don’t have time to explain dominant and recessive genes to you right now.” and walk away.
I get asked about the age gap in my kids. “Wow- 10 years! Did you TRY for her or was she unexpected??”
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March 14th, 2008 at 3:01 pm
You should totally tell people you dye it and see what they say
Girl I can’t even begin to tell you the things that spew from people’s mouths where my girls are concerned!
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March 14th, 2008 at 3:03 pm
My boys look so much alike and yet they are three years apart.. I have had some STUPID remarks made like “I guess they didn’t break the mold” HUH? WTF? I wanted to kick that person..
And I get all the time.. WOW your tall.. Geee moron, your a genius did the 5′11″ give it away?
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March 14th, 2008 at 3:04 pm
people always ask me about the rascal’s bright reddy blonde hair. i just tell them he’s my German baby…meet Hans!
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March 14th, 2008 at 4:25 pm
She is so beautiful, by the way!!! LOVE the hair!!!
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March 14th, 2008 at 4:29 pm
maybe next time you get asked you should say with all seriousnes, “we dye it, of course.”
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March 14th, 2008 at 5:00 pm
She’s absolutley adorable. I like the “Kroger” comment, too. Cute and sassy. You go girl!
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March 14th, 2008 at 5:09 pm
I hate people that wink too, it makes me want to throw up!
Some people can be so rude, and just so obvious in their comments that it such a bore. I like the idea of telling people you dye it!
I know I am going to have the same problem if I have kids since my partner is Japanese and I am obviously white European looking….most will assume I am the child`s nanny or `English` teacher!
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March 14th, 2008 at 5:58 pm
testing…testing…
March 14th, 2008 at 7:11 pm
oh the wink! i hate the fricking wink. i just want to poke the winkers eye out with a stiletto heel!!
i used to get, all the time, how did your daughter get such curly hair (she has shirley temple-like ringlets)…and, i usually just answer…luck. i have curly hair, retard…can’t you tell?
anyway…my theory is, most people are just plain stupid and don’t know how to keep the bowel movements coming out of their mouths!!
xoxo
March 14th, 2008 at 8:41 pm
My husband and I both have brown hair, brown eyes… our son… blond and blue eyes. When asked about this discrepancy, I tell them ‘the kit we made him from was mislabeled.’ I like the Krogers comment too. =)
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March 14th, 2008 at 9:03 pm
I have some Native Americans in my family tree so I have some darker features. My skin is not very dark but I tan well and I have dark hair. People have asked me my whole life, “What are you?” Not, “What is your ethnic background?” Not, “How did you get such sexy, dark hair?” But, “What are you?” Like I am some alien that is not even human. My canned response, “I think I’m a person. What are you?”
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March 14th, 2008 at 9:59 pm
Oops! Forgot to say I’m Blog Hoppin’!
Sexy Housewife’s last blog post..And In Other Fun News…
March 14th, 2008 at 10:00 pm
You know what…I don’t get asked many stupid questions! Boo. I feel left out.
P.S.
Your daughter is adorable! Does red hair run in the family?? Heh.
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March 14th, 2008 at 10:17 pm
I hate when I tell people my daughter is beautiful and they say something like ‘at least she doesn’t look like her dad’. Excuse me, but I think my husband is handsome and she does look like her dad. Sure she is cuter than both of us, but still.
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March 14th, 2008 at 11:06 pm
Ew! Winkers gross me out also! Looking forward to that post. People say the stupidest things…I get them all the time with my twins, therefore, I wouldn’t dare ask a stupid question to anybody, period.
She’s a real beauty, that one
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March 15th, 2008 at 12:18 am
I am a natural redhead, but my mom has red hair too. The question I always get is, “Is that your natural hair color?” I have to admit it is a little annoying just because people ask it all the time, but it’s kind of nice that people notice.
People that question the paternity are stupid. The end.
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March 15th, 2008 at 2:28 pm
first? BEAUTIFUL RED HAIR on your daughter.
and second? yes.
My Toddler Tornado is adopted and while we kind of look alike (people say. I dont care one way or the other) I also have completely strangers approach me and ask:
IS THAT YOUR BABY?
M.
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March 17th, 2008 at 4:48 am
I’m a blond from two dark haired parents and my sister looked exactly like my mom. It used to make me feel weird that I didn’t look like anybody else.
We have a red headed son and my in-laws spent his first year pondering where it came from. Didn’t matter that my first 4 years started strawberry blond or that my grandmother was a redhead.
How is it that hair color and children can become such an issue? It really got under my skin.
I tell my son that he is lucky to be red. It makes him unique.
March 17th, 2008 at 4:03 pm
When I was two years old, with a headful of short ringlet curls, my mother would always get asked by people “ohhh her hair is so pretty! do you CURL IT??”
her general response would be be “yes… i always take the time to use a curling iron on my two year olds head of hair…”
March 20th, 2008 at 1:02 pm
I hate it when people ask such dumb questions.
When people stop and tell me my daughter looks exactly like me (which she does) I tell them “Really? That’s strange… she’s my housekeeper’s kid”
March 22nd, 2008 at 11:53 pm