Warning: This post is laced with anger, curse words, and insults. Read at your own risk.
A while back, a decision was made about Allie’s upcoming third birthday party. (Stay tuned, I promise this post is way more important than balloons and cake.) You see, Allie has more toys than she could ever handle, way more. As the only only grandchild on both sides, this problem will not stop any time soon. So for Allie’s birthday, we decided that at her party we should request that if the guests felt they needed to bring a gift, in lieu of the gift they should donate whatever monetary amount they were going to spend on a gift to one of various causes/charities.
This idea seemed perfect to me. Allie isn’t in need of any gifts that she can’t be provided with, and it only made sense that if people want to give her something–perhaps they should give this something to somebody who needs it.
(bare with me. i’ll get there eventually.)
You see this idea came up because my little girl is very charismatic, and when she told people she wanted a baby doll for Christmas…we received 18 of them. 15 of which we donated to a toy drive and three she kept. This is just one example of her magnetism. While I understand the need to feed into her cuteness, I cannot condone this kind of thing. Particularly, when we have family out the wazzoo and they are gift giving fools. (I’ll admit this is nice. I’m not totally bagging on it.)
Honestly, we debated for a while over the decision. I even debated over posting about the decision. I never wanted to come across as snubbing people’s gifts or falling into the category of what my grandma would’ve called highfalutin’. But when push comes to shove, that kid needs another Barbie doll like I need another damn hole in my head. And to me, it is ridiculous to spend money on toys for a child who does not need them, when the money can be spent on people that do need it.
So I mailed out the invitations with a small insert. (Note: I would never have put the insert in, if it wasn’t for the fact that most people go to parties armed with gifts. I would never flat-out demand one.) The insert simply mentioned that gifts were not necessary, just the presence of the guest. Then, it went on to detail that if they felt compelled to bring a gift, they should instead donate the money to one of the causes listed below. I also added that if they did not want to mail it in themselves, they could write a check to their choice, and I would mail it.
Possible Causes:
Children’s Miracle Network
Shriner’s Hospital for Children
Make A Wish Foundation
Autism Research and Awareness
Ronald McDonald House Charities
Wouldn’t you know that within a few days of mailing the invitation, people were abuzz about it. I had a few phone calls from folks who thought that this was a fabulous idea. A few.
Of course, there were some who thought that this insert was a small act of birthday party terrorism. Because how dare I ask them to not give my child another pair of plastic high heels and instead request they donate their money with children with Cancer.
How fucking selfish of me.
Or the best was that it’s “a shame I’m not letting my child play with toys and receive gifts”. Well, she is getting gifts, and she will be playing with toys. And the only thing that is a fucking shame is the fact that I have to put up with this sort of bullshit from people. At this point, I sort of sick that I have to coexist with some so small of mind and heart.
Another wonderful quote was that I should, “let Allie make her own decision about her birthday party”. Well hell, she’s nearly three years old. She said she just wanted people to come and play. That’s what they’re going to do. It’s at a bounce house. She loves it. She’s (almost) three.
Heaven forbid, a three year old not get to make every single decision about her birthday party. I mean, if that happened, half of us parents would be on the damn moon lighting birthday candles while singing happy birthday while Hannah freakin’ Montana performed a concert in the background, and Mickey Mouse did cartwheels.
(Note to self: calm down.)
Honestly, I had the foresight to see that this could possibly cause a problem for someone. I was hoping it wouldn’t though, because if someone had asked me to do this…I would be thrilled.
But I didn’t really think anyone would get this worked up over being asked to donate money to Autism Research instead of giving my daughter a slutty Bratz doll donned in hooker clothes looking like she was ready to go for a ride.
Where were my priorities?
Sometimes, people just make me sick. Not you guys, you’re fabulous. But some of these other people walking around on this planet, they are tools of the worst design.
Oh yes you did!
THANK YOU. I have EVERY intention of doing the same thing with my daughter when the time presents itself. How dare those people actually give you grief about it. HELLO??? Some people need Chemo more than a Barbie- some people need their “First Dolly” more then our daugthers need there 27th!
Keep your head up- and don’t look back. If I were you- I’d just tell those nit-wit’s that you will be donating their childs toy for their b-day to a needy cause instead.
GOOD FOR YOU!!!!!
Kalyn’s last blog post..PPD Facts
February 29th, 2008 at 1:10 am
I wasn’t going to say it- I always laugh at the people who do but….
I’m FIRST!!!!!
Kalyn’s last blog post..PPD Facts
February 29th, 2008 at 1:11 am
I so feel your pain. I’ve done similar and reaped the similar benefits of being made the evil villain for ever suggesting such insanity.
The thing is though, I want my kids to appreciate the friends and family - not the gifts. After a few years of toy HELL, tripping over all those noisy plastic pieces that your kids look at once after Christmas and birthdays and then totally forget about, you begin to think of your priorities and what you really want to be teaching your kids.
Kudos to you for having the nerve!
LIsa’s last blog post..A Women’s Survey With A Cause…
February 29th, 2008 at 1:14 am
I think it’s great you’re trying to keep your child from being “spoiled” and I think it’s a great way to help her learn at an early age that birthdays or other celebratory occasions aren’t about gifts but the people you spend them with.
Since the situation caused such a brouhaha, maybe you can revert what you did at Christmas? Let Allie keep some toys, but donate the rest to charities.
Madison’s last blog post..M’améliorer
February 29th, 2008 at 1:40 am
You are my hero. Your daughter is so lucky to have a mom who not only gets it but is willing to put it into action even if other people are silly enough to find this somehow offensive. As long as your daughter still has a fun birthday celebration (because that part is important - and it’s not like you lost sight of that, sheesh, dummies), then it’s not like she’s losing out somehow in exchange for a good deed. Instead, she has a great time, you do something cool and meaningful, others get to do the same when they otherwise might not have, and some charity gets to spread some joy to others, too, all because of a birthday - a happy birthday, indeed. All win, all around.
Now please pass me a piece of cake.
Maggie’s last blog post..Thursday Thirteen 2/28/08
February 29th, 2008 at 1:48 am
what a sad pathetic group of people. i am sorry that you are being faced with the harsh reality of the crazy folks among us.
BUMMER!
HolleeAnn’s last blog post..Thursday Thirteen #4
February 29th, 2008 at 1:57 am
I think it’s a fabulous idea. I think it also sets an amazing example for her as far as how to be a giving caring person. I have actually used this idea myself and had some strange responses. “If I wanted to give money to charity I would, but I wanted to give something to you.” Yeah well, my house can only hold so many trinkets and gifts. While I appreciate each and every one of them, I’d really rather just have the gift of friendship.
The asshats that can’t see this line of reasoning? Screw them! Raise your daughter how YOU want, you are the parent here, not THEM!
February 29th, 2008 at 2:04 am
a slutty Bratz doll donned in hooker clothes looking like she was ready to go for a ride.
made me laugh out loud.
Solomon Broad’s last blog post..Things I’m Grateful For on Friday 29 February
February 29th, 2008 at 2:08 am
I tried to do this once and got the same reaction. Hope got 18 dollies that year, too.
Welcome to motherhood…it ain’t for sissies, huh?
melissa’s last blog post..Learn From My Mistake….
February 29th, 2008 at 2:33 am
I think what you are doing is great. I get SO disgusted and annoyed with people who think children should be in charge. Hi. That’s what parenting is.
Sister Honey Bunch’s last blog post..Dude, Let’s Fight Some Frump.
February 29th, 2008 at 5:58 am
You said this so well. Looks to me like an opportunity to show your daughter the joy of giving; I can’t believe people are upset with the idea.
Donna W’s last blog post..Pay it forward challenge
February 29th, 2008 at 7:03 am
Maybe they would have gotten it if the NO GIFTS ARE NECESSARY were written in caps and adorned with glitter. There are always those who are willing to take a jab at our parenting. It’s where we each are most insecure, and they smell blood.
witchypoo’s last blog post..It’s All About Me
February 29th, 2008 at 8:05 am
You’d think they’d understand:
Your kid wants to play.
She wants cake.
She wants to hear the Birthday Song.
And she’s going to have allllll of that, with every child under the age of 4 in the tri-county area.
Next time, just ask for cash. Tell ‘em she’s going to put it all in savings, for her first tattoo.
Christine’s last blog post..Alf’s Dreaded Book Meme
February 29th, 2008 at 8:23 am
For my girlies’ first birthday, my invite said “Your presence requested. No presents, please.” (Cute, right? I was very proud of my homonyming. And my wordification.) I only got one judging comment but EVERY SINGLE PERSON brought two presents. Well, some brought four. I give up. We live in a materialistic world, and all we can do is donate the extras. *sigh*
Sadia’s last blog post..Have I mentioned recently how much I love my neighbours?
February 29th, 2008 at 9:44 am
You said it best.. some people really are tools.
Kim’s last blog post..Project365/19
February 29th, 2008 at 9:51 am
Two Things:
1) I commend you for being such an avid philanthropist! You’re truly a woman after my own heart. This is such a wonderfully simple and effective idea…Im totally stealing it. My daughter is way too spoiled too and gets too much. I usually just ask for clothing, but then she gets the hooker clothes that Bratz dolls wear (ugh!)
2) You do not need to calm down (yet) I don’t blame you for spouting off… people just plain suck sometimes, and they’re dumb. So, it’s okay to get up in arms about it, yell out loud about it, and rant on your blog! Never stop.
February 29th, 2008 at 10:42 am
On the other hand, you COULD solicit gift certificates for Chuck E. Cheese pizza and send the excess (there WILL be excess, given that there is a definite limit as to the amount of CEC Pizza one can safely eat) certificates to Sandy at Momisodes because she has recently admitted to a CEC Pizza addiction.
lceel’s last blog post..Strange day
February 29th, 2008 at 11:08 am
I think your idea is fabulous and poo on those people because they don’t get it. Hopefully someday they will understand what you were trying to do. Someday very far down the road when I have kids I’ll try this too. Maybe by then people will get it. Don’t hesitate to add the organization I work for to your list of charities. Although if people don’t want to support cancer patients I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t want to help out-of-work and out-of-school youth in NYC.
February 29th, 2008 at 11:44 am
I tried to encourage family to donate to the American Lung Association for my BamBam’s second birthday. He is named after my uncle who died of lung disease. My kids have a playroom full of toys they never even touch. Seemed appropriate.
Instead I got lectures on how people don’t agree with the way the ALA is run and wouldn’t ever donate money to them. They gave BamBam stupid toys instead. Frustrating.
I feel your pain.
MommyCosm’s last blog post..Haiku Friday: Glowing Ovaries
February 29th, 2008 at 12:18 pm
I think that was a terrific idea! My husband’s family runs a charity, so I may a little biased, but anyway…I agree, my girls have so many freakin’ toys that it drives me crazy. We do end up donating some of them because they have enough!! I may try this at their next birthday and see what happens!!
Chanin’s last blog post..Friday Photos!
February 29th, 2008 at 1:17 pm
I think you had a terrific idea and my have to steal that idea later on.
Don’t let them get your spirits down… if they feel the need to bring her a gift, let them. You can always donate the older toys and allow her to keep the newer ones?
Jessica’s last blog post..Bugs
February 29th, 2008 at 2:07 pm
If we let our kids get spoiled rotten like that, it really DOES spoil them. By the time they can actually articulate the things they want, they’re asking for- nay, Expecting big bucks items. My son still gets them. Not from us parents, but grandparents who would give in to every GD whim. I’m sick of being ’shown up’ by them, and wish they would use the money for something good instead of cluttering his room with more junk he’ll only play with once!
I think your idea is marvelous! Screw those people who want to berate you for it.
Nissa’s last blog post..Friday Seller Spotlight- With love designs
February 29th, 2008 at 2:17 pm
Hell yes! You go girl!! I think that’s fabulous!
We frequently donate the kids gifts and toys to charity. There is no need for them to have 70billion toys.
I find it appalling that people were so pigheaded towards you about this.
wow. I give you huge props for doing it and sorry people are giving you hell.
rachel’s last blog post..Hard headed child meets harder brick fireplace
February 29th, 2008 at 2:32 pm
You are my newest Hero!!
It’s a brilliant idea and people just need to shut up about it!
Qweenie’s last blog post..Everything is better when it’s free….(a Contest)
February 29th, 2008 at 2:57 pm
Oh my goodness how dare you! No seriously though, are you serious? People really threw a fit? I think that is a great idea. I would much rather have children who don’t have as much get what they need rather than have my children get that much more stuff to spoil them. I love charities though. March of Dimes, St. Jude’s, etc.. There is one charity I need to donate to, and it is nothing but nets. I am sure everyone has seen those commercials! But man, how heartless and selfish of some people to actually get mad about giving to people who are less fortunate. Buttheads. Keep your head up, you are an awesome person! Don’t let them get to you!
Meagan’s last blog post..Obama, Obama.
February 29th, 2008 at 3:01 pm
I think it was a beautiful idea–don’t listen to the haters, girl!
Jen’s last blog post..Questions That May Help You Find Your Purpose
February 29th, 2008 at 3:02 pm
Even if I were taken aback at a request such as this (I would NOT be), I would have the good sense to keep my big mouth shut. Remind me, who is this party for again? The people who attend it, or your daughter? If I recall, the last thing on my son’s mind at his third birthday was the presents. He was just excited that all of his friends were there! He felt like the big man on campus. Oh and the cake, he was excited about the cake, too. The nerve of some people. I think you are setting a wonderful example. I think most kids (including mine) DO NOT need more toys than they already have.
Natalie’s last blog post..Say What?
February 29th, 2008 at 3:18 pm
Brilliant idea. As my boys age Daddy and I will have them participate in the semi-annual birthday and Christmas purge…we are so mean:) The haters are just made they did not think of this idea themselves.
ourcrookedtree’s last blog post..Ye of little faith
February 29th, 2008 at 4:10 pm
i think it’s a wonderful idea. no one listens to me, either, when i tell them NO GIFTS…so, now my house is being invaded by every superhero action figure and their sidekick…
xo
February 29th, 2008 at 4:36 pm
That’s so annoying. Screw them and keep doing what you’re doing- it’s a terrific thing, and will teach your daughter so many positive things about caring for others, giving back, helping someone in need. Compassion is a great quality, and one that’s lacking in a LOT of people. So, you go!
Autumn’s last blog post..Your Daily Dose of “The Bitch”
February 29th, 2008 at 4:38 pm
PERFECT, WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL IDEA!
I don’t see the problem with this at all!
People amaze me that anyone even HAD a problem with this gift suggestion of yours!
My applause to you for doing this!
Beth
February 29th, 2008 at 5:00 pm
I think the lesson you’re teaching your daughter is a great one. And when I was that age, if my parents had gotten me a bounce house that would have been more than present enough! haha.
Honestly, ignore the party poopers. Karma comes around.
Lottifish’s last blog post..One Little Thing
February 29th, 2008 at 5:07 pm
I’m totally with you on this one!
Jenni’s last blog post..Haiku Blah
February 29th, 2008 at 5:43 pm
What is with people? It’s your kid, your party. If they don’t like it, then they can keep their trap shut and just not come. And be a stingy ninny and not donate to charity. Purlease.
Queen of Shake Shake’s last blog post..Not Only a Feminist, But an Obnoxious Parent Too!
February 29th, 2008 at 5:51 pm
You are awesome and people suck. You conveyed how much people suck (with easy to read and smooth sarcasm nonetheless) so well that I have nothing more to say than that.
February 29th, 2008 at 7:14 pm
we tried that for my son and people were strange about it as well…crazy!
Stick to your guns!
Laura from the Fringe’s last blog post..February 22
February 29th, 2008 at 7:29 pm
I think this was a great idea! I am sorry you got such grief about it. I agree little children shouldn’t be asked their opinion on every aspect of their lives anyway and teaching them not to be materialistic is great.
janethesane’s last blog post..Fiction Friday - My Second Chance
February 29th, 2008 at 9:19 pm
I think it’s inspirational. My son must have a b-day right at the same time Allie does (April)and will also be three. He, like Allie is the only grandchild and has LOTS of giving relatives. He? Needs nothing. I think your idea is so wonderful I might just steal it.
Anglophile Football Fanatic’s last blog post..HF: Tell Mommy a Story!
February 29th, 2008 at 9:29 pm
I thought your idea was fabulous! Truly some people just don’t get it.
blog hopping - etcetera
Tara R.’s last blog post..Too much information
February 29th, 2008 at 9:46 pm
I am SOOOO with you on this. I actually had the idea for my daughter’s 3rd bday, but my husband poo-pooed the idea. I got chills when I started reading this b/c you actually went through with what I wanted to do.
For that, I just made a donation in honor of Allie’s 3rd bday to Ladders.
Props to you.
February 29th, 2008 at 11:51 pm
Hey girl,
Thanks for stopping by to wish me a good weekend, very sweet of you and right back atchya!
I gotta tell you, that is a brilliant idea that you have about the donations in lieu of gifts. Some people just can’t wrap their minds around anyone ‘ruining their moment to shine’ with getting the bday kid the shiniest gift and trying to outdo the next person. What a shame… Hang in there, Allie is going to have a great time and the normies (non insane moms) will donate to some wonderful causes.
Be well,
Michelle
March 1st, 2008 at 2:39 am
I think it is a wonderful idea. We too struggle with gifts and toy glutony. I want my children to play with the toys they have. Every 4 or 5 months we go through our toys and pick out ones to donate. It makes the house feel cleaner (yeah for me) and it makes the boys feel good that they are giving these toys to other little boys who are not as lucky as they are.
The world is too obsessed with material objects and I aplaud you for your decision.
Hoppin~
Anastasia Beaverhousin
Shannanb aka Mommy Bits’s last blog post..The B-Man has seen better days
March 1st, 2008 at 7:26 am
This is such a brilliant idea. Good for you and even better for Allie.
Heather B.’s last blog post..Princess of Power
March 1st, 2008 at 9:08 am
I personally think you’re doing a fabulous thing! My daughter’s toy room is so full of crap that she really has no idea what all she has and truly doesn’t need anything new. She is soon to be 12 and this past Christmas, she asked family to give her money for Christmas so that she could then donate $250 to the World Wildlife Fund. So, based on what you’re doing, when your 3 year old is a few years older, she will probably be doing exactly the same thing. It’s amazing! Great job!
March 1st, 2008 at 9:38 am
I think your decision is great! Would these people stop you if you put your daughter in time out? Would they stop you if you said she couldn’t watch TV because she had done something wrong? I hope not and I want to go ahead and believe they wouldn’t. So they’re interfering in the way you choose to raise your daughter. Your decision is one that will go very far with her. I watched a friend of mine buy her daughter everything imaginable and then there were aunts, uncles and grandparents doing the same thing. I knew what was going to happen and it did. She’s a spoiled brat that pitches a fit if she doesn’t get her way and what she wants and she’s 16 years old! Children can’t play with hoards of toys. It’s ridiculous. They get overwhelmed and perfectly good toys are wasted when someone else could be using them. If they insist on bringing toys, fine..donate them later. There was a time when I had to clean out rooms before birthdays and Christmas to keep the pile tame. I hope people will come to their senses for you but I doubt they will. Stand firm remind them that you wouldn’t interfere with the way they choose to raise their kids.
Rene’s last blog post..CardsDirect
March 1st, 2008 at 10:08 am
I think you did the right thing. We’ve been to birthday parties where donations for a specific charity or a book for the children’s hospital have been requested instead of a gift. I think it’s a good lesson for a child to learn that giving to others is an honrable thing.
Don’t let those small-minded people win - some people just don’t “get it”.
Pink Lemonade Liz’s last blog post..Announcing…..Ask Eric and March Madness Sweepstakes !!!
March 1st, 2008 at 10:59 am
I am a firm believer of these sort of invites/inserts. I think kids-in general- have more than they need. My fav thing to do is request books in lieu of gifts, this usually comes off okay and my kids can never have enough books.
TRACI’s last blog post..A Day In The Life
March 1st, 2008 at 11:23 am
Girl, you are awesome! I too am sick of the overwhelming amount of plastic shit overtaking my house - especially when the girl would rather read library books and play with tupperware.
andi’s last blog post..Preschoolerville: The essential guide book
March 1st, 2008 at 12:31 pm
I think what you did is admirable! I don’t know why people would get so upset over it. I think they need to get over themselves is what I think!!
adriane’s last blog post..Say it ain’t so!
March 1st, 2008 at 1:01 pm
I just found your blog thru OMSH’s blogroll. Actually it was from your older blog linking to this one … but that’s irrelevant compared to how I feel about this post. I wanted to share my thoughts!! I commend you for standing up for a good cause and for teaching your child the value of helping others rather than teaching her to be selfish and always want more. So many times today you see parents and/or grandparents who want their child to have an abundance of ’stuff’ that eventually means nothing to the child but to the parent/grandparent it means this child has everything he/she ever wanted.
We have family and friends who would be totally opposed to donating to a good cause versus providing something else that would be deemed unnecessary for Lil Man to have within a weeks time. As a result I dreaded the influx of gifts at Christmas and on his birthday. I finally made a decision to voice my thoughts to family and what I thought would be a disaster actually turned out to be the most positive thing that could have happened for Lil Man. I asked that instead of gifts they donate to a savings account that Lil Man would have available to him when he graduates from high school. Making this option available has taken care of receiving the over abundance of unnecessary ’stuff’. The ‘other’ side of the family took the money they would have spent on birthday gifts and bought a life insurance policy that they will make the annual payment on until Lil Man reaches the age of 21. At that point the value of policy will be $50,000. He can then cash in the policy or he can continue to pay the small monthly premiums until he turns 28 and the value will increase to $100,000. This is something he can truly use and enjoy … and not unnecessary nor something that will go to waste within a few weeks time.
Linda’s last blog post..1st Prenatal Visit
March 1st, 2008 at 2:29 pm
At least I will know what to expect when I do that for my kids’ birthdays this year. The toy ridiculousness has got to stop.
Blog hopping–HP
Sarabeth’s last blog post..My Neighborhood
March 1st, 2008 at 7:02 pm
OMG, you’re right on the mark! My daughter gets so much at Christmas, she’s still opening boxes come the next Christmas. It’s ridiculous!
Mommie
http://www.mommieshome.net
Mommie’s last blog post..February Earnings
March 1st, 2008 at 8:54 pm
I think it’s a fabulous idea. My daughter has a room FULL of toys too. I don’t know where we would put more. There are kids that have nothing. Let’s give some to them. What doesn’t make sense here? Sorry there were some that didn’t see the brilliance like the rest of us. Next year don’t invite them. :0)
March 1st, 2008 at 9:07 pm
The simple fact that you actually had to deal with people’s BAD reactions to this WONDERFUL thing that you’re doing is just proof that this world is going to shit. Period.
LunaNik’s last blog post..What do ya mean just leave him alone???
March 1st, 2008 at 10:08 pm
People really do suck sometimes. YOU, on the other hand, do not.
I’m so tired of ignorant bitches who feel threatened by people doing things differently than they do, I really am.
Blog Hoppin’,
Balancing Hops
April’s last blog post..Just When You Think You’ve Heard it All…
March 1st, 2008 at 11:40 pm
Congratulations on having a fantastic idea and some backbone to stand up for your idea. I have to agree with you that if you have a big enough family, kids get spoiled to no end. Toys coming out the wazoo. Your suggestion to donate to a worthy cause is so much nicer than dealing with gifts that your daughter could never use.
kasper’s last blog post..First tooth
March 1st, 2008 at 11:51 pm
For what it’s worth, I think you had an excellent idea!
Happy Saturday! Blog Hoppin’!
“Margarita Mom”
Stacey @ Real World Mom’s last blog post..Scrolling Saturday (#2)
March 2nd, 2008 at 12:22 am
We totally did this for my son’s three year party, but a slight change. We asked for people to bring a children;s book to donate to a literacy program in town. No one gave us any lip, but for all I know they could have grumbled behind my back.
I agree - its really hard to pass up a teaching moment to your kid when you see one come along. Do what you want in this case and don’t let people make you feel badly about it!
Cheers from the Weekend Blog Hoppers!
BookMamma’s last blog post..Back In the Saddle Again
March 2nd, 2008 at 12:24 am
Oh I hear you!
For our girl’s first birthday we simply added at the end of their invites that we were donating money in their name to the NICU of the hospital that saved their lives and would welcome others to do the same instead of giving gifts. Heck they were one, they didn’t even know what a gift was let alone care if they got one. We felt that it was a lovely way to recognise and celebrate the fact that we were lucky to have them and at the same time maybe help someone else be so lucky… I am STILL hearing about it!
It hasn’t stopped me though… we now live on a property that we are trying to re-forest so for my son’s first birthday mid this year we are having a tree-planting day and will ask everyone to bring a tree to plant instead of a gift… bring on the angst! I say if people don’t want to do it they don’t have t0 come!
kate’s last blog post..No Longer My Claim to Fame
March 2nd, 2008 at 1:29 am
We do something similar with our two daughters. We have the birthday child choose an organization they would like to help. They are still young so they usually say they want to help children, sick kids, animals, etc. Then I choose the organization and contact them to see what their needs are. In the invitation we write something about “In lieu of gifts please bring XXXX to donate to the animal shelter (r whatever organization).
So far we have collected crayons and coloring books for children n the hospital, stuffed animals for the women’s shelter, books for a nonprofit preschool, and toys for the animal shelter.
I think people like to bring gifts, this way they can bring a gift but know it is going to a good cause.
Your child is not deprived because she isn’t getting yet another Barbie to add to the 100 already in her room!
March 2nd, 2008 at 11:39 am
Oh my gosh. I so feel your pain. *Hug* I think it was a terrific idea and very thoughtful of you.
We tried to do the same thing for our wedding but said no gifts, pease just attend. Personally I thought people would be thrilled. Uh, nooooo. We were quickly berated by friends and family and were told to at least come up with a donation option. Which we did. I launched a spay and neuter fund on my dog’s website. Many people gave generously which was very much appreciated.
One person? Demanded a second option because she hates dogs and quote “doesn’t care if they die” in shelters. She demanded we come up with a children’s charity instead. What else can you do at that point but laugh? Not in the “ha ha”kind of way but the “roll your eyes, I can’t believe this is happening kind of way.”
The Flirty Girl’s last blog post..10 Things I’ve Surprisingly Never Done
March 2nd, 2008 at 12:08 pm
What a great idea! I can’t believe people were so negative about it.
March 2nd, 2008 at 12:44 pm
We (including our daughter) have been getting goats and heifers and sheep and whales given or cared for in our names from my in-laws for 15 years and we never minded. You had a good idea and I suggest you take the people who did mind off the birthday party list (and card list) for next year….just save them for graduation and wedding announcements!
Onedia’s last blog post..FRIENDSHIP - OTHER POINTS OF VIEW
March 3rd, 2008 at 1:21 pm
I think this is an awesome idea.
What we do for my twins birthday is a 5 5 5 party where everyone was requested to bring 3 5 dollar bills. Then 5 went to each boy and the third 5 went to a charity of the boys choosing, they chose the Childrens Miracle Network.
Then the boys got to go to Toys R Us and pick ONE toy each and the remaining money goes into their school accounts. The First year we did this Family was horrified. Now they just get! When you have twin boys and a younger brother you have A LOT of toys and this just seemed like the best solution. My MIL still buys them clothes but what can you do!
I think what you are doing is great! Good on yah!
March 3rd, 2008 at 5:42 pm
I can’t believe people were so rude about it! God forbid you try to help those in need. My girls get so much that they don’t even play with half the crap they get. We still have toys in packages from Christmas, the excess is out of control. I think what you are doing is a great idea!
amy’s last blog post..It just gets better
March 3rd, 2008 at 5:54 pm