Warning: This post is laced with anger, curse words, and insults. Read at your own risk.
A while back, a decision was made about Allie’s upcoming third birthday party. (Stay tuned, I promise this post is way more important than balloons and cake.) You see, Allie has more toys than she could ever handle, way more. As the only only grandchild on both sides, this problem will not stop any time soon. So for Allie’s birthday, we decided that at her party we should request that if the guests felt they needed to bring a gift, in lieu of the gift they should donate whatever monetary amount they were going to spend on a gift to one of various causes/charities.
This idea seemed perfect to me. Allie isn’t in need of any gifts that she can’t be provided with, and it only made sense that if people want to give her something–perhaps they should give this something to somebody who needs it.
(bare with me. i’ll get there eventually.)
You see this idea came up because my little girl is very charismatic, and when she told people she wanted a baby doll for Christmas…we received 18 of them. 15 of which we donated to a toy drive and three she kept. This is just one example of her magnetism. While I understand the need to feed into her cuteness, I cannot condone this kind of thing. Particularly, when we have family out the wazzoo and they are gift giving fools. (I’ll admit this is nice. I’m not totally bagging on it.)
Honestly, we debated for a while over the decision. I even debated over posting about the decision. I never wanted to come across as snubbing people’s gifts or falling into the category of what my grandma would’ve called highfalutin’. But when push comes to shove, that kid needs another Barbie doll like I need another damn hole in my head. And to me, it is ridiculous to spend money on toys for a child who does not need them, when the money can be spent on people that do need it.
So I mailed out the invitations with a small insert. (Note: I would never have put the insert in, if it wasn’t for the fact that most people go to parties armed with gifts. I would never flat-out demand one.) The insert simply mentioned that gifts were not necessary, just the presence of the guest. Then, it went on to detail that if they felt compelled to bring a gift, they should instead donate the money to one of the causes listed below. I also added that if they did not want to mail it in themselves, they could write a check to their choice, and I would mail it.
Possible Causes:
Children’s Miracle Network
Shriner’s Hospital for Children
Make A Wish Foundation
Autism Research and Awareness
Ronald McDonald House Charities
Wouldn’t you know that within a few days of mailing the invitation, people were abuzz about it. I had a few phone calls from folks who thought that this was a fabulous idea. A few.
Of course, there were some who thought that this insert was a small act of birthday party terrorism. Because how dare I ask them to not give my child another pair of plastic high heels and instead request they donate their money with children with Cancer.
How fucking selfish of me.
Or the best was that it’s “a shame I’m not letting my child play with toys and receive gifts”. Well, she is getting gifts, and she will be playing with toys. And the only thing that is a fucking shame is the fact that I have to put up with this sort of bullshit from people. At this point, I sort of sick that I have to coexist with some so small of mind and heart.
Another wonderful quote was that I should, “let Allie make her own decision about her birthday party”. Well hell, she’s nearly three years old. She said she just wanted people to come and play. That’s what they’re going to do. It’s at a bounce house. She loves it. She’s (almost) three.
Heaven forbid, a three year old not get to make every single decision about her birthday party. I mean, if that happened, half of us parents would be on the damn moon lighting birthday candles while singing happy birthday while Hannah freakin’ Montana performed a concert in the background, and Mickey Mouse did cartwheels.
(Note to self: calm down.)
Honestly, I had the foresight to see that this could possibly cause a problem for someone. I was hoping it wouldn’t though, because if someone had asked me to do this…I would be thrilled.
But I didn’t really think anyone would get this worked up over being asked to donate money to Autism Research instead of giving my daughter a slutty Bratz doll donned in hooker clothes looking like she was ready to go for a ride.
Where were my priorities?
Sometimes, people just make me sick. Not you guys, you’re fabulous. But some of these other people walking around on this planet, they are tools of the worst design.
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