Initiating and Dropping Out of A Sorority
- January 3rd, 2008 5:02 pm
Once upon a time , when Pluto was still a planet and I was filled with insane ideas, before I ever had a husband or even thought about babies, I decided I would join a sorority. You see, for some reason it seemed like it would be something I would like. I obviously didn’t know myself very well at the time.
And no offense is intended if it’s something that you like, liked ,or will like.
Honestly, I thought it would be a nice way to meet people since I was moving roughly three hours away from home. I should have known better, I should have been in tune to the fact that a cynic like myself could not take the things that would occur very seriously. But I didn’t know what would occur, just as I didn’t know myself very well.
Anyhow, I decided I would go through rush, the formal recruitment period in which all sororities hold events in which you attend to convince you to join them. Rush consisted of a form telling you what to wear each of the fives days it was being held. For example: Monday might be black dress pants and shirt of your choice day, Tuesday might be little black dress day, etc. RED FLAG ALERT is what should have flashed in my brain and forced me to stray away from any system that placed me in a uniform.
During rush, all girls were rushing were divided into random groups of about twenty. We were then ushered from house to house by unidentified sorority minions.
Each Sorority had a reputation not unlike the lunchroom tables in a middle school. There was the campus nerd sorority, the campus slut sorority, the campus sorority that was generally outgoing and scarily similar to the plastics on Mean Girls, the campus sorority of girls that were still in the Girl Scouts, the campus sorority of girls with lisps, etc.
Rush week came and went, it was filled with a lot of sweat from waiting outside of the houses in mid-August, a lot of idle chatter as the result of being consistently asked the same questions repeatedly about high school or what kind of shoes I liked (Steve Madden for the record), and mostly shrill voices singing their asinine sorority songs filled with colloquialisms about sisterhood. It was a headache if I’d ever had one.
Ironically, the sorority of my choice chose me to be a member. It was the outgoing, plasticky group of girls with smiles and superfluous make-up caked on their faces. And at the time, I was both happy and cynical about the situation. At the time, the girls were nice and welcoming. Even when they passed out a form onwhich we were told to fill out the vocations of our family in case they came in handy for future events. heh.
After a few weeks of school and casual meetings with the group, it was almost time for initiation. I had made friends by then who were not associated with the sorority, and I really liked them–way more than I liked the plastics. They were intelligent girls with interesting hobbies from the music to which they listened or the art which they enjoyed.
By then, I had been with the sorority girls enough to know that I did not want to go through initiation. In the few weeks I knew them, they all talked about each other, and did other classy things, like sleep with the others boyfriends. They were catty, conniving, two-faced, and not the type of people I wanted to be friends with let alone so-called sisters. Yet, my inability to quit anything coupled with forcing myself to try new things pushed me to go through with the it.
I knew it was going to be ridiculous mirage before it even began. After all, the required outfit for the initiation was, I swear, a white dress, with white pantyhose (a necessity), and white dress shoes. Yes people, I was to look like a marshmallow in high heels. SEXY.
Nevertheless, I conformed the standard and even added a white cardigan to the walking monstrosity that was me as a marshmallow. If anything, I was extremely interested in the smoke and mirrors of a production they were going to put on for this shindig. Everyone always hears the eerie stories about greek initiations and all that they entail. As a joke,I had also been told repeatedly to make sure my panties were pretty. I wasn’t stripping to my skivvies for anyone. In fact, a hint to do so would have resulted in acts of violence that I did not approve of. But I wanted to see what all the fuss was about.
So, after waiting in the upstairs of the house for 30 minutes and many girls sweating it out, we were escorted to the initiation room in a kindergarten like single-file line with blindfolds (white, of course) adorning our faces. I followed in the line (in alphabetical order) wondering how they washed out all of the dark beige foundation that was surely to be staining the blindfolds later on…
We entered the room, still blindfolded, but were luckily escorted to our chairs. We were given an eerily serious talk about how important it was to keep this so-called ceremony private and secret for the sake of the alleged sisterhood. I was anxious to see what was going on in the room in which I was blindfolded. So when we were allowed to remove them, I nearly laughed. All of the other official members of the sorority were circled around the room, and in the middle was the current president. She was wearing a creepy white robe that basically just looked like she had taken a twin-sized bed sheet and cut a jagged hole in the middle to stick her head through.
From that point on, it was hilarious to me. She was also surrounded by plastic bones and skulls. (I KNOW!! hahaha)and stars. She went into some long melodramatic speech about being sacred to the the bones of the sisters before us, and lots of other ridiculous bullshit that I would call someone out on if not dressed like a marshmallow.
At the time, and now, it seemed like some generic parody of a cult meeting– like someone had went to the local K-mart after Halloween and purchased all of the 75% off decorations. It didn’t help that the other sisters were surrounding the room, and the new people were wearing somewhat matching tacky marshmallow outfits. We even had to take a drink of the flowing water which fueled the alleged sisterhood, which was tepid, malodorous tap water.
After initiation, it was all officially a joke to me. Not that I expected a serious initiation of any sort, but I think I just realized that for me, pretending like I was part of what was only a game was wrong. I dreaded the formal meetings where we had to enter in lines after doing the secret knock on the door, and follow the flow of the desks placed in incongruous shapes to find our seats. The only purported formality of the meeting was the fact that the President wore her bed-sheet robe, and we had to sometimes where the marshmallow outfit.
One day, when I was listening to other sisters thank each other for carting their drunk asses home, bloated in my marshmallow outfit and sick with their inability to hold a real conversation, I realized that I had never in my life felt more alone in a room of people. I had chosen ostracized myself from a group that I did not want to be part of, and I am still glad (to this day)that I got up in the middle of the meeting, walked out and never returned. (Which walking out is hard to do when all of the chairs are in super weird shapes, maybe that’s the purpose. Don’t you think that walking out was easy either, I was in a hurry and bumping into everything in site whilst the “sisters” were questioning why I was leaving a “formal” meeting.)
To make a long story possibly short:I’ve never been fond of the way that women so often see each other as competition instead of working together, I’ve never been fond of childlike tomfoolery posing as serious issues, and I’ve never been fond of wasting my own time.
For some, sororities are wonderful. I have several friends who enjoyed their time in one. However, this one wasn’t for me, and I don’t think it was for anyone. I could go into many more details, but I’m sure I’ve already violated the word count on my average blog. 
January 3rd, 2008 @ 7:13 pm
Bedsheet robes, cardigans, and lisp’s…..Oh MY!
Sounds like it was a bad trip to Oz. And walking out was your only way to get back home.
I also know of a few who LUV the whole sorority scene…but I skipped rush week myself.
Sandy (Momisodes)’s last blog post..A Half-Assed Disorder
January 3rd, 2008 @ 7:18 pm
first off, i can’t stand to be in a room with more than two girls. i want to chop their face off. girls are scandalous and it’s really hard for me to trust a girl and call her my “sister.”
i’m glad you put this on here though. i always wondered what a sorority was like, the initiation, and all. it’s pretty funny you had to wear all white and look like a marshmallow. wish you would’ve taken a picture.
sounds like hell by the way.
January 3rd, 2008 @ 7:29 pm
I almost could’ve written this post myself! Our initiation was eerily similar, except it involved a bunch of wacky “rooms”, like a haunted house, that we were taken to in groups. But we were “issued” a white robe to wear, no white hose for us!
I stuck it out for a year, mostly because it was a southern university and I lived in the house and we had the BEST cooks in the kitchen. It beat living in a dorm.
But, I left because one of my two roommates in the house got mad at me for…God knows what, told her mommy, who was friends with our chapter sponsor, who pulled me into a room after one of the uber-duber meetings and told me that I had better be nice to XYZ or they’d find a way to kick me out. Nah, I’ll just leave on my own, thanks.
Glad you commented on my blog so I could “find” you. I’ll be back again, I’m sure! I’ll be the one dressed like a marshmallow.
Courtney’s last blog post..Things I Accomplished on Day One of 2008
January 4th, 2008 @ 1:41 pm
That was a great story. I never wanted to join a sorority but then they were pretty unclassy at my college. I did however date several guys from the same frat and a couple of those were pledging when I dated them. it’s all very twisted but then I never saw that deep…fascinating to read.
January 4th, 2008 @ 2:01 pm
oh…where were you when i was in college and all my friends got into a sorority? we could have hung out and made fun of everyone, together! i rushed but didn’t finish…found out that my grades weren’t good enough so i figured…what’s the point!
i knew i liked you!!!
xo
January 4th, 2008 @ 10:29 pm
Dude, I quit before initiation!
Alli ~Mrs. Fussypants’s last blog post..Fussy Begs For a Bloggie & Announces a New Jewelry Contest
January 8th, 2008 @ 9:53 pm
I always thought sororities were idiotic. You’ve just confirmed my belief.
Milena’s last blog post..Gray in the afternoon
January 12th, 2008 @ 10:52 pm
Great post! Its ounds alot like my experience! Ah yes, the marshmellow dresses! At least you didn’t stay around for rush, where you would have to buy required outfits!
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April 4th, 2008 @ 10:04 pm
[...] sorority songs-None here, but I do have a post about the time I dropped out of a sorority. I think it’s a good [...]
April 5th, 2008 @ 10:30 am
I know no one cares, but I do want to give a little shout out for sororities over here.
My sorority was so much different than the stereotypes that people have. Sure, there were your typical plastics, but there was also a lot of diversity. The beautiful thing about my sorority was that it was the only one on campus that couldn’t be pinned down with a stereotype. I was the last person in the world who would have ever joined a sorority and for reasons that I wont get into, I did. I was super judgmental and thought I was way too cool before I joined, my sorority honestly showed me how to connect with people that I would’ve never given a chance before.
Also, our initiation was bad ass. No bones and skulls, but I will cofess that white sheets were involved.
April 5th, 2008 @ 7:27 pm
In the words of Forest Gump…
Mama always said if I had to pay for my friends, they ain’t worth having.
I avoided Rush like the plague in college. I made friends with a sorority girl who, like you, hated it and the ridiculous ceremonies and stuff she use to tell me about, good grief.
Queen of Shake Shake’s last blog post..I’m Telling the Tooth, the Whole Tooth, and Nothing But the Tooth
June 9th, 2008 @ 2:23 pm
I love your post!! I’m currently in a sorority, or maybe was… I’m on summer break thinking about quitting–unfortunately like you in the beginning I have a hard time quitting things. My initiation was exactly like yours minus the skulls, but I did have to wear the marshmellow outfit. I hate the forced friendship, the cattyness, the drama, always feeling bad about doing something “wrong”-atleast the sisters see it that way, it just sucks! You are so brave for leaving at a formal meeting!! My mouth opened when I read that, you go girl! I wish I could do that!!