Goliath’s Accusations and Police Chases
- November 7th, 2007 11:58 pm
I awoke late yesterday morning rushing and prodding my way out the door. I was running behind, and that just makes me nervous. You see, I hadn’t been as resourceful as I usually am the night before. I generally have everything ready that I need to take with me the following morning. I sit it by my front door to ensure that I remember to take it all with me. Of course, on the morning I’m running late, I have accomplished nothing. I have to run through my house gathering everything last minute while trying to not wake Allie up, because that would make the process of leaving the house take much longer.
(You wouldn’t believe how difficult it is to convince a two year old to wear pants some mornings. Some mornings it’s just that she wants particular pants and yada yada yada.Blue jeans, purple pants, blue jeans, repeat.)
Back to the story, my tardiness would have been fine had I not gotten half way into the drive to Allie’s babysitter for my low fuel light to come on. I was pissed about this for two reasons; it was very, very cold, and very, very windy. I hate pumping gas as it is. (that’s a third reason, but who is counting?) I did not want to pump gas when it was cold and windy. I wouldn’t have wanted to if it was the weather had been perfection.
And you know, I’m not sure what is so difficult about the act of standing at the pump and waiting for my tank to fill, but it really gets in my crawl. Standing and staring at a machine labeled to death in stickers informing me of all the ways I might possibly blow myself up by the simple act of gas pumping, I noticed that the pump was running very slowly. I had no time for a slow pump. I got enough gas to make it to school and decided to fill up later.
Since I had prepaid, I took my receipt, hopped in my car, and waited a minute before pulling off. Mostly because that’s my life, rush and wait, rush and wait, rush and wait, REPEAT.
Although it’s probably good that I waited a moment, because as soon as I hit the gas pedal I see a lady frantically chasing my car to the end of the parking lot.
I stopped and rolled down my window. The lady, a rube-like Goliath with a frizzy perm and Tabby cat t-shirt with black stretch pants (the kind that have the loop to go around your feet) continued approaching my car. She reaches it, and yells into my window, “YOU DIDN’T PAY FOR YOUR GAS! I’M CALLING THE LAW!” (That’s right, she referred to the police as the law. I’m sorry, but that just cracks me up. The Law..haha)
Choking back from her heinous dragon breath, I replied, “I paid for my gas. I paid at the pump.”
Frizzy Roots Infested Perm: “You sure?” Her smoker’s voice echoing…
Me: “My receipt says I did.” *Flashes Receipt and attitude*
She examined the thin white piece of evidence before replying in a snarky scream, “Ah. Go on then! Pay inside next time though!”
Me: M’am, your pumps request that I pay at them. It’s easier for me to pay here. They tell me to pay here. I’m paying at the pump…
I’ll admit that I drove off after that. I felt slightly bad for the rest of the day. After all, I’m sure that lady was no happier about having to chase me down than I was about her chasing me down. She probably has enough problems without me getting yippy with her. Plus, she had that perm and cat shirt…and well, that’s sad too. (Tabby cat shirts are an entirely separate issue. If she’d been over 50, it might’ve been okay. )
While I was slightly aggravated that I got chased by her and received a nice screaming, I’m almost glad. I can just imagine what would have happened if she had called “the law” on me.
I see myself just driving down the Interstate in a rush, mindlessly listening to talk radio (i love Bob & Sheri). Soon after, the sirens would ensue. I would continue to drive, because certainly they wouldn’t be after me? More driving and laughing. Pretty soon a chase of sorts would evolve, because I still would not be under the impression that they wanted me to pull over. After all, I’d done nothing wrong. I’m not sure where this would end. But I put nothing past myself at 8 a.m.
I can see the headlines now, “ERRATIC GIRL CLAIMS SHE DIDN’T KNOW SHE WAS BEING CHASED!” And it would be completely true. My own artistic interpretation is below:
November 8th, 2007 @ 1:40 am
Wow! Why does the domino effect always seem to happen on bad days? I can totally picture this woman chasing after you. Was she missing any teeth? I probably would have given her attitude back as well. It’s hard not to when people threaten you with the “law” for no good reason.
And the pant negotiation. Those can sometimes take all morning with our toddler too.
I hope you dodge law enforcement for the rest of the week
BTW, you’ve been tagged in my latest entry for a Meme.
November 11th, 2007 @ 1:44 pm
Best image ever.