I MIGHT Be a tad bit Sexist.
- September 15th, 2008 10:09 pm
It would be a lie of omission if I did not come clean and admit that I might be the holder of a few sexist ideas. I know it is wrong. I know it is unfair, and in fact, I’m quite embarrassed by it. But for some reason, there are just certain things that I believe a carrier of the Y chromosome should be capable of doing. I am, however, trying to change my ways. No offense is meant to my readers with weiners or readers that have sons with weiners. Like I said, I’m trying to change my ways.
The first sexist thought I hold is that a person having a penor should be capable and knowledgeable about the use of a screw driver, hammer, and power drill. I’m sorry. I’m not sure why I think this. In fact, I’m not even sure it is something that my own husband has mastered; because around here, I am Mrs. Fix-it. Furthermore, I don’t claim that this idea that a man lacking the ability to use tools is less masculine in my mind is okay. In fact, I think if someone told me that since I was a XX in the chromosome department I should be capable of using a frying pan, hand mixer, and vacuum, I would be quite offended. Raging mad type of offended.
So like I said, I’m trying to reform myself. It’s only fair, because I think if a man wrote a blog post where he wrote out all of the things that he thought a woman should be capable of–well, he would probably take a flanking. So just know that this is a post of change. I am trying to rid myself of these notions.
Since I’ve already started, I might as well go on with this: I also sort of think that men *cough* particularly the one in my house *cough* should be responsible for taking the trash to the curb. This thought could also be because I always have to take the trash to the curb on garbage day. Trash is heavy and stinky. It’s not that I’m dainty or too good to take the trash out. I don’t want to be responsible for it. Just like my husband doesn’t want to have to do the dishes or wash the bathtub. If I’m washing the bathtub, he is taking out the trash.
Okay, the last one that I will admit is my thought that men should be able to fix appliances, small plumbing problems, and small electrical things. I have a skewed idea that this should be an inborn skill, something innate. Once again, this is something I do myself. I am always taking apart things that aren’t working or seeing if I can fix them somehow. Growing up, my mother taught my brother and I many of the skills listed in this post. If I ever have a son, you better believe he will be given lessons in small house repairs. I will not send him off into the world without knowledge about using a bottle of drano, or how to install a light fixture.
As far as equality goes, there are also some things that I think both sexes should be capable of like boiling water, pumping gas (which I wish someone would do for me, also), putting out fires, folding the bed, doing laundry, CPR, using an iron, making the premade cookie dough chocolate chip cookies, and the ability to give a nice massage. I could go on and on with this.
I’m not even sure why I am telling the internet all of this. I guess I just assumed that someone other than myself probably holds some sort of assumption about the other sex or even their own. You can leave them in the comments if you want, and if yours is terribly embarrassing, you can even post anonymously. Who does what in your house?
September 15th, 2008 @ 10:19 pm
Yes!!! Especially the trash! I don’t mind using the screw driver and stuff, but do NOT make me touch the garbage in any way, shape, or form! In fact, if my husband “forgets” to take it out, I tend to “forget” to clean the house because there’s nowhere to put the trash!
Wendys last blog post..Just Resting. Not Quitting.
[Reply]
September 15th, 2008 @ 10:34 pm
OK, far be it from me to ever, ever, EVAH defend others of my kind (the ones in possession of said penii), but I’ll be the first one to admit that I oh-so-royally suck at the job of mr. fix-it. I can do some incredible things in terms of building/configuring/assembling electronics and computers, but ask me to fix a doorknob or do anything that involves working with 110VAC household current, and I’m well and truly out of my depth.
I did take out the garbage until my firstborn became a teen, at which point I required him to earn his keep. He’s since passed that job on to his little brother.
I also make a mean Crawfish Pasta.
YatPundits last blog post..Just One Day In NOLA
[Reply]
September 15th, 2008 @ 10:59 pm
I’m afraid that after your ‘roid’ post regarding your mans ‘behind’, it will most likely take a blizzard in Hades to make him want learn anything new because you want him to…
Except maybe how to avoid getting a boo-boo on his bum!
Jackie
Jackies last blog post..This Joint is Hopping…
[Reply]
September 15th, 2008 @ 11:01 pm
I balance the checkbook, make sure the bills get paid and still make a bit more $$ than hubby does. So why the HELL can’t he clean the freakin’ litter box?!?!?
[Reply]
September 15th, 2008 @ 11:07 pm
Jackie,
Truth be told, he found the ‘roids post thoroughly amusing. haha.
-Amanda
[Reply]
September 15th, 2008 @ 11:59 pm
My husband does anything techie, or handy, the trash, picks up the dog crap and does all the yard stuff… everything else is me. Before I was a stay at home he also did the bathrooms and the vacuuming but I have now formally taken on those responsibilities.
[Reply]
September 16th, 2008 @ 12:01 am
I pee standing up. My ability to fix something that’s broken however… unless thumping it really hard works, there could be a problem. I will try though. As far as the house goes, I do damn near everything so long as I don’t have to cook.
Captain Dumbasss last blog post..Got Ink?
[Reply]
September 16th, 2008 @ 1:35 am
OK, I’m penis-abled, BUT, I do a lot of ‘female’ chores: changing diapers, bath time, cleaning the toilets, etc. And then I go HOME and do all that too. I’d say the only ‘manly’ job I’m REQUIRED to do is escort arachnids out of the house. My beautiful wife screams like a little girl if she sees a spider.
[Reply]
September 16th, 2008 @ 2:12 am
In Oregon, the guy at the gas station pumps our gas, by law. Usually he has a penor (my new favorite word). I love it. The not having to pump gas part.
In the home, when Tom was here, he was in charge of all that is electronical, and I was in charge of all that needed to be cooked (though he often would get the kitchen clean and ready, which was sweet). I happen to own more tools than he does, but he has more random computer parts and is definitely far less afraid to throw a punch if needed, which it hasn’t been, which is good, but it’s nice to know. Ours works for us. I like overall being his woman and him being my man – traditional gender roles really do not freak me out – but it’s OK when it falls into place a little differently, too.
Maggie’s Minds last blog post..Recipe for Yumminess
[Reply]
September 16th, 2008 @ 5:48 am
Amanda,
So did I!!!
Jackie
Jackies last blog post..This Joint is Hopping…
[Reply]
September 16th, 2008 @ 6:28 am
Well, I can’t cook. Josh said he can cook, but then he needed help making Kraft macaroni & cheese because it was his first time.
He can supposedly do some electrical work, etc. and is obsessive about doing the dishes (which I love). I do the laundry, we both fold it. I clean, he tries to keep things straightened.
Michelles last blog post..My ego is swelling
[Reply]
September 16th, 2008 @ 7:36 am
I’m all for having a man know how to do home repairs or car maintenance, oh and don’t forget mowing the grass and taking out trash. hehe I can do these things (and I have done these things) but they are not on my list of top chores to do. I think if I’m responsible for cooking and cleaning the house and doing the laundry, then taking out the trash, mowing the grass, emptying the cat litter box or fixing a home appliance should definitely be in there realm of duties!
Just my thoughts..hehe
~K
kels last blog post..Monday Madness – Words
[Reply]
September 16th, 2008 @ 7:41 am
I never deny that one of the reasons I love my husband so much is that he is EXTREAMLY hand. He can fix and build almost anything. I attribute this to the fact that he was a Boy Scout; and Eagle Scout in fact. Also, because of this, he can also cook and clean, although I do most of that.
So, my husband fixes things, lifts heavy stuff, brings the laundry up/down two flights and puts it away, takes out the trash, mows the law, gives our son dinner and his bath, feeds and waters the dogs. He also works outside the home full time, and his commute is 1.5 hours each way.
I remind my husband to do his chores, keep the house up between the housekeeper’s visits, wash and fold the laundry, shop for, prepare, and clean up from our meals, make all family medical/dental appointments, pay our monthly bills, care for our son daily, keep our social calendar (heh), shop for all family/friend gifts, and any of my husbands chores that he forgets. I’m also a SAHM who cares for another toddler four days a week and a 6yo before and after school 5 days a week.
Whew, that was a long comment.
jennis last blog post..From "Nononono" to "No thank you mother, I would not like another grape."
[Reply]
September 16th, 2008 @ 7:47 am
I will NEVER cut the grass. NEVER. Definitely a hubby duty!
[Reply]
September 16th, 2008 @ 8:42 am
We divide stuff down traditional lines, BUT we’ve taught the kids to do pretty much everything. For sure everyone knows how to really clean–I can’t stand a man that doesn’t at least know how to clean a toilet.
Jenn @ Juggling Lifes last blog post..The American Grocery Store: A Tutorial
[Reply]
September 16th, 2008 @ 9:13 am
Bugs. Men need to kill the bugs. I should not be expected to come within 50 miles of anything with more arms and legs than I have.
Everything else, I can (and do) take care of myself – but I prefer not to because I don’t like getting dirty or sweaty.
calicobebops last blog post..Changing My Routine
[Reply]
September 16th, 2008 @ 9:22 am
I always tell people I got married so that someone would take out the trash and kill the bugs.
Thankfully, my hubs knows how to fix stuff, too. Or else we would be screwed.
Eternal Sunshines last blog post..The return of the weekend update.
[Reply]
September 16th, 2008 @ 9:29 am
I don’t even know what folding the bed is, let alone how to do it, so I guess I am not a successful chore doer in your mind!
NGSs last blog post..Okay, here are the damn pictures
[Reply]
September 16th, 2008 @ 9:52 am
Boys should kill the bugs.
Sadly, my husband is afraid of bugs.
Honeybells last blog post..If You And I Have Had Sex, Read This Post!
[Reply]
September 16th, 2008 @ 10:39 am
After dating guys who DIDN’T hold doors open for me, and who DIDN’T carry my freakin’ groceries in, it’s nice having a guy who insists on doing that kind of sutff.
Back in the day, I was determined to not need a guy to do anything. When I was like 21 or so, my parents got me a pretty awesome tool kit. (A chainsaw! a drill! tools! tools! tools!) But now Mr. C does all the repair work, while I take care of the animals. I usually do the laundry, but he’s good about helping me fold it and put it away (after threatening his life, of course)
I never would’ve thought that I would be in a relationship with the ’stereotypical’ role-type things, but I guess I am.
And I would so be turned off by a guy who couldn’t fix things, so I guess it works out better. (Even if Mr. C’s latest fix-it projects sit on the back porch for months sometimes)
Jennifer @ The Cubicle’s Backporchs last blog post..The woman (and her bf, 2 dogs, a cat, and 20 chickens) who lived in a shoe.
[Reply]
September 16th, 2008 @ 10:44 am
Oh I totally am right there with you and I’m not even ashamed of it.
I feel like to each his own, and if I want to live my life in the Susie Homemaker role with my “husband” doing the “man” duties then that’s my prerogative! And if you want to be equal in your household and share all duties and your husband will actually clean the toilet, then good for you!
Me, I’m kinda old fashioned. But like I said, to each his own. That doesn’t mean what’s right for me is right for someone else!
[Reply]
September 16th, 2008 @ 11:04 am
I do not pick up dog poo or yard work. I do not drywall, fix electrical stuff, or change my oil (that’s what mechanics and husbands are for). I once imagined I would learned that stuff when I was a single mom…and I tried really. But then I met my husband who worked his way through nursing school by working at OSH. And when he says, “I know how to fix that. I’ll just go to OSH.” I love him a little more.
lisas last blog post..Part XXIII: The Fam
[Reply]
September 16th, 2008 @ 11:54 am
Totally behind you with the trash. I actually refuse to deal with it! I will take a grocery bag and hang it on the doorknob in the kitchen and use that if the bin is full.
My husband hardly cooks. Okay…he never cooks! Now, I do enjoy it so it’s not that bad!
I do believe that people with testicles CANNOT FIND ANYTHING! I have never been proven wrong with this one!
Helens last blog post..Back on the wagon…
[Reply]
September 16th, 2008 @ 12:46 pm
I wear the tampons, and he shaves his balls.
Oops, I forgot to post anonymously, didn’t I?!
Rheas last blog post..Yet another Photo Mystery
[Reply]
September 16th, 2008 @ 12:48 pm
Seriously, he deals with dead rodents in the garage (ok, it only happened once) and any puke in the carpet (sadly that happened more than once). Oh, and the time one child had diarrhea on the couch, that was his job too. So, I guess you could say he gets the shitty jobs, and I do everything else. hehe
Rheas last blog post..Yet another Photo Mystery
[Reply]
September 16th, 2008 @ 12:56 pm
Enjoyed your post! I do most of the cooking, cleaning, gardening and part of the mowing. I gather the trash and sometimes haul it to the curb. Hubby helps, especially when asked nicely and if I blink my eyes a certain way. Hubby is the engineer and power tool wizard. When we do home projects, he designs and does the grunt work (with the power tools of course). We have a joke that if something happens to him, the next guy will have to audition by identifying all the power tools in the garage correctly! And, yes, I can identify most of them.
ReformingGeeks last blog post..Mrs. White with the Lead Pipe
[Reply]
September 16th, 2008 @ 1:39 pm
I think it is so sexy when a guy knows how to fix things. I don’t know why. Hmmm.
OH! And chop wood. I love that. So sexy.
Kathryns last blog post..Moving On
[Reply]
September 16th, 2008 @ 1:43 pm
Kathryn,
me too! the ability to fix something is sex appeal to me. haha. seriously.
-Amanda
[Reply]
September 16th, 2008 @ 1:44 pm
Rhea,
My husband is really queasy. So he gets out of the shitty jobs. haha. I’m starting to get suspicious of him.
-Amanda
[Reply]
September 16th, 2008 @ 1:45 pm
helen,
you are right. I totally support your testicle theory. In fact, I think that the things they are looking for become camouflaged right in front of their eyes.
-Amanda
[Reply]
September 16th, 2008 @ 2:13 pm
My husband sucks at fixing things but he is very good about calling others in to do it for him. Frankly as long as it gets taken care of and I don’t have to worry about it, I don’t care how it happens. And the trash is ALL him. Also, yardwork. That’s the deal around our house. I cook and he takes care of the yard. Timewise, I think he has the better deal, but I don’t mind cooking, so its okay.
[Reply]
September 16th, 2008 @ 2:18 pm
I love this post and all the responses!
I think everyone harbors a bit of sexism in them. It’s okay, as long as you are aware of it and trying to change. That being said, I agree with you on a lot of this.
I don’t mind being the one with most of the household chores (laundry, picking up, cleaning the bathroom, giving tubbies, dusting, bill paying…), but he’s gotta help with some things. Fixing is definitely his area of expertise. As is trash (most of the time) and manual labor of any sort. As far as dishes go- I usually do them, because we don’t have a dishwasher and he hates them- but I let him choose. Each day when we get home, both dinner and dishes need to be done- so I let him pick which he wants. This only works because my hubby is a good cook. I don’t mind having to do the dishes as long as I’m not cooking too, because that would mean I’m spending my whole night on my feet in the kitchen rather than enjoying it with my family, and that doesn’t fly with me. ;P
Jadens last blog post..Portrait of a Tantrum
[Reply]
September 16th, 2008 @ 2:22 pm
I am totally sexist in all those ways.
And yet-from the power saw to the tool kit to EVERYTHING in the garage belongs to ME. My husband will however HIRE someone to fix ANYTHING. So that is good too.
[Reply]
September 16th, 2008 @ 2:54 pm
Hmmm. Being in the construction world, I might be more guilty of this stereotyping than you are. I am only 5′7″ and I think that if “little me” can do something, than ANYONE can.
Electronics have changed things a bit. Everything seems to have some kind of circuit board that renders Mr. Fix-it to the sidelines and cause the item to be replaced instead of repaired.
morethananelectricians last blog post..Oh yeah…we are related!
[Reply]
September 16th, 2008 @ 3:06 pm
speaking as a reader with a penis, I find your abilities muy caliente.
dadthedudes last blog post..tuesday rant – 4th edition
[Reply]
September 16th, 2008 @ 3:13 pm
Ok, my comment is pretty boring. Believe it or not, our chores our pretty much divided equally. Sometimes he does the housework and sometimes I do the trash and yard work.
I do prefer that he hangs all the pictures and knick-knacks, but we even do that together with my help of holding and measuring.
I guess I should go give Hubby an extra big hug!!!
Mandys last blog post..Go Sadie Bug, It’s your Birthday!!!
[Reply]
September 16th, 2008 @ 3:27 pm
I don’t do yard work. If I had to do yard work I would use my mad phone skills to hire someone. Or just make the teenager do it. I don’t like taking out the trash to the curb either but the craziness of my hubby’s schedule and the wacked out hours those damn trash guys are coming-well you can see where this is going. Oddly enough I don’t mind bringing in the empty cans, sometimes I even bring up my neighbors and put his by his garage.
Are these things sexist, probably. But the important thing is I make the girls do them all…..so they they will do them all when they get older.
Great post!
Heather~Domestic Extraordinaires last blog post..Teaching our girls that time=money
[Reply]
September 16th, 2008 @ 8:31 pm
Amanda, there’s something for you in my Wednesday post.
lceels last blog post..The Great Bloggy Bling Orgy – Day 2
[Reply]
September 16th, 2008 @ 9:01 pm
I am proud to say that I do most of the small fixing jobs in the house. Texan Papa does the biggies – putting on a new roof, installing a deck, etc. However, when it comes to the in-between jobs, like stabilizing the swingset with new boards or installing a photocell light fixture, or repairing the lawn mower, I would be MORE than happy to hire a handy-person (note: not handyMAN, I am an equal opportunity employer) but I know that Texan Papa’s ego would not be able to handle it.
Texan Mamas last blog post..Baby Got Back
[Reply]
September 16th, 2008 @ 10:14 pm
This post made me cranky because my husband does crap around the house.. seriously he does nothing.. grrrrrr.. **pumping fist in the air..
Kims last blog post..Fight The Sag Update..The Good, The Bad and The UGLY
[Reply]
September 16th, 2008 @ 11:24 pm
My wife and I, before we had kids, used to share the domestic stuff. We’d trade off cooking, cleaning, etc. It was wonderful.
Then she got pregnant with twins and I had to do it all. Somehow, that never reverted back. I cook, clean the downstairs (where we do all of our living) including the kitchen, load the dishwasher, unload the dishwasher, take out the garbage, do mine and the kids’ laundry (she does her own thank goodness) and do all outside yard work.
AND she expects me to be Mr. Handyman. I grew up with a single mom and our only tools in the “toolbox” (Junk drawer, actually) was a hammer and a phillips screw driver. If we needed a flat screw driver, we used a butter knife.
I can look up an electrician, plumber and roofer in the yellow pages just fine, thank you.
Matthews last blog post..At which point I choked on my own saliva
[Reply]
September 16th, 2008 @ 11:47 pm
I always have this innate feeling that men drive better than me, probably because the male species has been telling me they drive better than women do my entire life/driving career. And you know what? It has an impact on me — I’m a decent to fine driver normally, but put a guy in the car, particularly one I don’t know well, and I’m all, “Oops, don’t look over shoulder, can’t park, scared of semis, jerk the wheel, magical good time!”
[Reply]
September 16th, 2008 @ 11:53 pm
i’m extremely traditional when it comes to these roles. it’s not that i think the other sex *can’t* do the other things & never should do them, but i think overall that traditional gender roles work because they appeal to hormones, learning styles, etc. that are part of the human brain (and men and women DO have different brains, hormones, learning styles, etc.)
there always exceptions, of course.
i don’t think anyone is right or wrong in this debate. i think it’s stupid to try to make people unisex, but other people think it’s stupid to have gender roles – doesn’t make any of us wrong, just different types of thinkers. and luckily we’re all free to think how we want.
i believe the man, in general, should:
-fix things around the house
-take out the trash
-be protective
-provide when the children are small so the woman can mother the children
i believe the woman, in general, should:
-bake, clean, and make a happy home
-stay at home as much as possible w/ the children until they are school aged
-do laundry, be the nurturer, and keep things on track
it’s nothing i’m going to let this unisex society make me ashamed of, just as i am not going to make them ashamed of their beliefs. it doesn’t make you sexist at all – there is actually quite a bit of research regarding what happens when these roles are reversed or ignored – i shall dig it up!
dr. laura (who i completely disagree with a LOT) happens to be right about this one thing (though she takes it to an extreme).
kalens last blog post..What an honor
[Reply]
September 17th, 2008 @ 2:09 am
He gets the trash, the litterbox, and anything around the house that needs immediate attention that I haven’t been able to get to.
Since he’s barely home, I don’t mind doing most of the housework, because he pitches in willingly when he has the time.
Oh, and he’s amazing- he’s a chef, but he’ll actually clean up the kitchen afterwards if I’m off putting the kids to bed or something. Or he’ll happily do the parenting stuff.
And he gets up to do “the early shift” with the baby, even though his schedule is more demanding than mine. Holy crap, typing this all out, I feel so lucky. I think the Mr. might be writing you a thank-you note tomorrow after the surge of appreciation I’m feeling now!
(I recently posted about my own sexist trash issues here: http://proseandconverse.wordpress.com/2008/09/02/wrong-said-nik/)
niks last blog post..So glaaaaaahmorous, dahhhlink!
[Reply]
September 17th, 2008 @ 3:01 am
Ooh, touchy subject! But I kinda agree with you! We are so totally into the whole traditional gender roles in our house, it’s almost embarrassing. I cook and clean, and he takes out the trash, washes the car, fixes stuff and changes the light bulbs. To the point where I don’t even consider doing it. I wait for him to get home so I can tell him what he needs to fix. I even get him to take my car to the gas station to fill it up! Ok, only on occasion. But still. It’s just the way it’s become around here, and I can’t tell you how happy I am that I don’t have to do any of the heavy labor that he does- or the smelly and dirty stuff. And he’s thankful that he doesn’t have to do laundry. It’s a win-win. I also have this idea that all men should be born with an interest and ability to use power tools, probably because my dad is a hands-on and practical kind of person. But, then again, so is my husband, so I hope my sons grow up to be the same way! Because, frankly (and I am embarrassed about this); men that aren’t like that just aren’t as manly in my eyes…
[Reply]
September 17th, 2008 @ 7:05 am
I have a husband that Wants to do the Fix it stuff and mow the grass. I am not very good at fix it type work, altho I have tried in the past.
He is also equally capable in the kitchen, and does a fine job with laundry when needed.
He is a pretty good guy to have around
I have pink garden shears and clippers!
markys last blog post..old age
[Reply]
September 17th, 2008 @ 8:13 am
I’ll raise my hand – I have some sexist thoughts too.
One of the joys of renting is having Maintenance who will come and fix everything free of charge. D. rarely has to fix anything – but he is a whiz at building IKEA furniture.
He’s also SOLEY responsible for:
*Trash and recycling
*Bug killing, mice catching
*Carrying heavy grocery bags up the stairs
*Putting heavy objects into our storage unit
*Actually, anything heavy is his domain.
Together we:
*Cook
*Clean
*Scoop the litter box
*Change sheets
*Laundry
*Bills, payments, budgeting
*Grocery shopping
The Just-Me items?
*Clean out guinea pig cage
*Take care of the aquarium
*Purchase all necessary pet supplies
*Keep track of our social calendar/birthdays/holidays
Mellys last blog post..Misery doesn’t go coastal!
[Reply]
September 17th, 2008 @ 12:38 pm
I do everything. Because I am single. Oh, but I don’t clean. I hire someone to do that.
Also, I do not even have to pump my own gas. TOTALLY ILLEGAL TO PUMP YOUR OWN GAS IN OREGON.
Rhis last blog post..Things you should go look at
[Reply]
September 17th, 2008 @ 5:17 pm
Truth be told, I firmly believe I do it all in this house..and it doesn’t offend me that I’m the one who gets it done. I’m the one who cooks, cleans, repairs, and keeps things rolling. I think it was just the role I naturally came into. He is so busy with work and school, I don’t know how he’d even have time to do much else other than try to relax and enjoy time with us.
But he WILL start taking over the bedtime ritual as soon as school is over, so help me god.
Ashs last blog post..Life.
[Reply]
September 17th, 2008 @ 5:24 pm
I agree on all counts. But DH grew up with a single mom and in a country where it is ILLEGAL to fix your own car, sink or appliances. So it’s understandable if I know a lot more than him and can pinpoint the cause of strange noises the car makes, and so on. But hey, he does the laundry. So I don’t complain… much
Elisas last blog post..Dangerous squeals
[Reply]
September 17th, 2008 @ 10:09 pm
Men should have a penis and not be afraid to use it.
Yes – my husband is in Iraq and I AM DESPERATE FOR SOME ACTION!!!
That is all for now.
Tranny Heads last blog post..Parental Underwear
[Reply]
September 18th, 2008 @ 12:50 pm
I’m playing catch up…Ike sucks…just FYI.
I’m “Mrs. Fix It” in my house too. Get this…I was FLABBERGASTED when I found out my dear husband does NOT know how to change a tire, oil, or brakes in a car. Before I was allowed to have my driver’s license my daddy made me learn all of the above and told me “never rely on a man to take care of your car.”
Also, I can take apart and put back in working order a vaccuum. I can fix the garbage disposal, and all the other things that go spark in the night. Oddly enough, my hubby is a WHIZ on computers, and can take apart and rebuild from scratch a computer in working order. Go figure. LOL Whatever.
[Reply]
September 18th, 2008 @ 4:49 pm
I could have written this post myself. Although I can’t hang a picture, but you bet your sweet buns I’ll be supervising that little task….. perhaps a little ocd action.
My husband is the resident black widow spider killer. He takes a long lighter and fires them up (works quite well actually). And I love him for that.
And I think any bugs living inside the house is the cat’s job. You’d think with the four I’ve got we’d be sitting clean baby. Nope. They just yawn. Damn them.
Mrs. Kittys last blog post..FYI
[Reply]
September 19th, 2008 @ 9:31 pm
In our household, I am usually responsible for:
cooking, cleaning, changing sheets, laundry, grocery shopping, bills, budgeting, keeping track of anything that goes onto the calendar & I’m sure I am missing an entire heaping of things.
My hubby is responsible for:
taking out trash, scrubbing toilets and bathtubs, anything vehicle related (though I know how to change my oil, spark plugs, filters, and tires) and scooping cat litter. Though I have to admit, he does often help with a few other things if I ask him to.
Jessicas last blog post..My sense of humor..
[Reply]
September 20th, 2008 @ 1:42 pm
I so assume that the man around here should be able to do all the manly things, despite the fact I know I’m better and quicker at assembling flatpack furniture and any other jobs that involve reading instructions manuals. Hey, that’s just the way it goes round here though. He doesn’t iron, I don’t do the trash. Fair game methinks.
[Reply]
October 3rd, 2008 @ 9:23 am
I have a question that I would love to get answered from women with the mindset I am seeing in these posts. I see women saying men should do the manly stuff, and women can cook and clean.
So why is it that a guy can do all the normal man stuff, such as taking out the garbage, fixing stuff that needs fixing, yard work, and pest control, as well as ’stuff women agree to do according to yourselves’ such as all the cooking, cleaning, taking care of kids (including diapering 2 twins..) and we each do about 50% of the grocery shopping. She does work, but she does data processing, so she gets to sit all day and take breaks when ever she wants, Dinner is on the table when she gets home, and I do all the after dinner cleaning as well.
The only around the house thing she is totally responsible for (by her request) is laundry, and even this rarely gets done, she usually waits till no one has anything clean to wear, and does a few quick loads.
And to add in, while she does make the bulk of our money (about 1800/month) I currently go to school full time (4 classes is full time, I take 5…) so this adds to my already over-flowing plate, but also brings us in an additional $12,000 to $14,000 a year to cover bills.
Now, the actual question I need answered, is how can the guy in a situation above be left feeling completely unappreciated and neglected? No matter how clean the house is, she will search for the 1 flaw she can find, and comment on that instead, usually in the form of a complaint. I spend plenty of time doing things just to make her happy, like leaving her little notes, I’ve written poems, I randomly buy flowers, most holidays I buy a small piece of jewelry that matches the others I have bought, and I listen to everything she has to say about work, whether its something good, or a complaint about the stupid people she works with. And I don’t force myself to do any of this. I just do it.
And when I say neglected, I don’t just mean we only talk when she talks about her problems, but she seems to go out of her away to avoid contact. Sure, I can get a kiss in here and there, but if I start to rub her back, or kiss her neck, end of contact.
A few years ago, we were always hugging, holding hands, and sex was a constant thing. Almost daily sometimes. I know they say sex declines as a marriage ages, but this wasn’t a decline. It was a drop off. From 4-6 times a week, to 2 or 3 times a month. As I write this, it’s been 2 weeks, and the sexual frustration is getting to me as much as all the rest put together. The only changes on my part is I’ve come more responsible, and I’ve gotten into a little better shape. I think of those as positive changes, but they seem to go unnoticed.
So, now that I’ve written a short novel, I’d really like to see what some women out there think. Comments, suggestions, even causes of all this are what I’m looking for, as talking to my male friends has proven worthless.
The possible outcomes in my mind all seem to have the same negative theme, so anything anyone posts about this will be a big help.
Thanks.
[Reply]
October 3rd, 2008 @ 3:38 pm
Neglected Penor (best commenter name ever),
Next week, I am taking a break from blogging. Would it be okay if I posted your comment as a post one of the days (Tuesday) and had my readers respond to it. If not, I completely understand. But if so, it might bring some clarity? Let me know,
Thank you,
Amanda
[Reply]
October 3rd, 2008 @ 10:27 pm
That would be great! I appreciate that. And I realize that what I wrote has the potential to muster up some brutal responses, and I am totally ok with that as well.
[Reply]