The One Eyed Creeper
- July 25th, 2008 1:20 pm
After I graduated high school, I moved off to a college about three hours away from my hometown. A few weeks before the move I’d become ambivalent about the fact that I would have to share a tiny dorm room with someone. After all, I had never shared a room with anyone before. I had some premonition that it would go horribly. That my roommate would be strange, and I would be miserable. I feared all of the things that the typical post high school graduate probably feels about moving off to a college dorm. But I decided I would give it a try.
Truthfully, it all went to shit from the get go. I had opted to live in the Honor’s dorm for honors students so that I could successfully get my nerd on without a lot of interruption. Upon reflection, this was a major mistake. And so, when my roommate, a girl I had never met before, showed up to move in she waltzed into the room clutching a one-eyed baby doll that looked like it had a bad case of the mange.
The doll had a typical plastic dolly body: a plump little belly with matching dimpled arms and legs. But one of her eyes-which had likely blinked and moved in a former life- was permanently shut or crusted over. As far as hair went, she had the remnants of a pony tail. Half of the doll’s head was bald, and there wasn’t a doubt in my mind that the hair had slowly worn out from being toted around by a nineteen year old girl for all of her life.
‘Her name is Leesy*,’ my roommate said, introducing me to her creepy baby doll in the tone of voice that a six year old might use to introduce her new kitten. She went on to tell me the story of how she procured the doll, and why it was so important to her. But all I could think about was the fact that I must have been on candid camera or some game show. Surely, it was a prank? A roommate whose prized possession was a baby doll? Surely not?
Either way, I couldn’t listen to the story of Leesy’s procurement, because a) I was being forced to live with a nineteen year old girl who was carting around and giving me the biography of her baby doll and b) the damn doll kept staring at me with it’s only working eye.
I immediately called my mother, ‘MOM! MOM! My roommate just introduced me to her goddam baby doll!’
‘Amanda, don’t say goddam. That is so filthy,’ she ordered,’ And surely she didn’t introduce you to a doll. I think you’re exaggerating. You need to calm down.’
‘No, Mom. No, I am not. IT ONLY HAS ONE EYE. AND IT HAS THE MANGE! If I go back into the room, she will probably tell me its birthday and favorite colors. And the damn thing looks like Chucky mom. JUST LIKE CHUCKY!’
‘Amanda, I think you are blowing things out of proportion. She probably just brought it along for comfort or something. Calm down.’
‘Whatever, mom,’ I replied, ‘I’m not sure how her toting around a one eyed balding baby doll is comforting. Maybe I’ll come back in with a one eyed, balding old man. We’ll see how comforting she thinks that is.’
‘It’ll be fine,’ my mother said, sighing, ‘if worst comes to worst, just ignore her.’
Truth be told, as the semester progressed, we got along fairly well. And my roommate was alright to live amongst. But at times, it was as if I was living with a real life Cindy Brady. She wore matching pajamas sets and went to sleep with her hair in pigtails clutching that stupid baby doll. And I would come down to my room from talking to some friends and find her snoring with her shiny retainer showing.
When I was truly fed up, I wanted to grab Leesy’s bald head and launch her out of the window. Instead, I usually just went to sleep. Also, I was proud of myself for holding my tongue and never saying anything out of line when she would spend long periods of time changing the dolls clothing or brushing her mangy head, and asking me what I thought of it’s outfit. I even congratulated myself for never pulling some prank like hiding the doll or her large dolly wardrobe.
As the semester ended, I chose to transfer to a school closer to home. And while my roommate and I parted on good terms, I was so happy to be away from her Chucky looking baby doll. But I will forever think about the months that I spent sleeping with that creeper staring at me. I sometimes wonder if my old roommate is sitting somewhere right now cuddled up with her baby doll in matching pajamas.
*The doll’s name has been changed. heh.
July 25th, 2008 @ 1:26 pm
That’s freaking freaky.
dysfunctional moms last blog post..Friday Two-fer
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July 25th, 2008 @ 1:29 pm
I feel you are discriminating against pirate dolls. And that saddens me.
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July 25th, 2008 @ 1:32 pm
Completely 100% freaky. Totally trumps my worst roommate stories. Love your blog, BTW
Danas last blog post..Gotta love the Big “D”
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July 25th, 2008 @ 1:33 pm
Okay, so I have a baby doll that sounds VERY similar. Mine has about 25% of its hair and one eye that is open and one eye that permanently blinks. It also has half a set of eyelashes on one eye. OH, and it’s one of those dolls that used to cry but sounds more like sheep on acid now.
HOWEVER, it resides in a storage bin in my closet and the only reason I haven’t gotten rid of it is because my mom gave me a guilt trip.
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July 25th, 2008 @ 1:34 pm
What a couple of weirdos, her and the bride of Chucky doll!!!
Mandys last blog post..My Baby Got Braces
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July 25th, 2008 @ 1:42 pm
Holy shit, for real? I hate dolls as it is, but one like that?? Gah, I would have had to get rid of that thing.
Misss last blog post..Haha
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July 25th, 2008 @ 1:46 pm
Oh, holy hell!!! Dorm rooms are like trial by fire, aren’t they? I did okay, except maybe for the one girl who I kept finding sitting on my bed with MY bra on listening to Mariah Carey, seriously, WTF?????
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July 25th, 2008 @ 2:12 pm
Dude. That gives me the willies. Not just the doll, but the whole matching pajamas and pigtails image. Eeew.
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July 25th, 2008 @ 2:16 pm
We have a friend that is terrified of ‘Chucky’ and when we found that information out… you got it, the next Christmas she got a package in the mail.
She still hates me!
Rogers last blog post..How We Try To Fly…
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July 25th, 2008 @ 2:18 pm
That doll would have disappeared the first night. If it crawled back into the room on its own, then it would be time to go.
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July 25th, 2008 @ 2:19 pm
What a FREAK! I probably would have packed my shit and ran AWAY. Or brought a super hot guy in the room and made out with him in front of her and her DOLL!
And I was LOL when your mom fussed at you for saying goddamn.
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July 25th, 2008 @ 2:38 pm
creepy indeed.
Heathers last blog post..X Files Review
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July 25th, 2008 @ 2:44 pm
Woah! That is really creepy! How did you ever survive that long with her? I hope she was a psychology major. She needed it.
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July 25th, 2008 @ 2:47 pm
Creepy. Seriously, wtf?! She will be living alone, 60, and be one of those houses the police and animal rescue have to go to due to the 100 cats living with her.
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July 25th, 2008 @ 2:52 pm
That is truly, truly creepy! Ick!
Sybil Laws last blog post..Can’t Come Up with a Good Title
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July 25th, 2008 @ 3:19 pm
Your old roommate is like the old lady in the shoe or something. Wow, and I thought my roommate experiences were bad.
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July 25th, 2008 @ 3:22 pm
Hahahahaahahahahahaha omgawd I’m dying. That’s hilarious!
oooh…and where did you get the little social networking bar beneath your post? What’s it called? It’s perfect!
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July 25th, 2008 @ 3:35 pm
Dude, that is the freakiest thing I think I have heard of. WTF? Can you imagine if she ever dated, that is a serious case of chewing off your arm to get out of the room. The thought of it makes me tremble. This story will now haunt me.
‘Amanda, don’t say goddam. That is so filthy,’ – cracked me up! HA.
dadthedudes last blog post..wipe my bobo, wipe it
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July 25th, 2008 @ 3:42 pm
Now I have to re-comment. Makes me think of some guys I served with in the Corps (which I guess is sorta like a dorm.. but with automatic weapons). 2 in particular, a guy who wouldn’t shower and a guy who was addicted to porn and jacked off all the time. We scrubbed the shower guy with wire brushes to get the point across (he kept himself quite clean after that) and they kicked out self gratification boy.
I wont be able to sleep tonight.
dadthedudes last blog post..wipe my bobo, wipe it
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July 25th, 2008 @ 3:42 pm
Ashley,
The social networking bar is from a plugin called Sociable. It’s really neat because you can pick which social networks you want to show up. I believe this is the link to get the plugin http://www.maxpower.ca/bookmarking . I highly recommend it.
-Amanda
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July 25th, 2008 @ 4:06 pm
Your experience turned out a whole lot better than mine did! My freshman year roommate showed up on move-in day carrying our third roommate: a life-sized cardboard cutout of JAMES FUCKING DEAN. Jimmy shared our 4×4 hovel for several months until he mysteriously disappeared. Rumor has it that his lower half was spotted somewhere in the vicinity of the 5th floor trash chute. I have absolutely no idea who was responsible for his demise.
Roommate eventually got over the loss and soon found the 2D Dean’s replacement: Heroin. Things only got better from there.
Jennifers last blog post..Drive-By Posting
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July 25th, 2008 @ 4:11 pm
I can’t believe you stayed the whole semester!!!! Kudo’s to you!!!!
Helens last blog post..Y’all, I just need some time to wallow in loneliness…
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July 25th, 2008 @ 4:16 pm
REALLY?! I’m guessing she didn’t have a lot of DATES that year huh?
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July 25th, 2008 @ 4:32 pm
I’d pick your roommate over the headcase that was mine, but matching pajamas? Creepy.
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July 25th, 2008 @ 5:50 pm
Oh my! I have a problem with clowns and creepy dolls – I would have run screaming from the room never to return!
Rightmyer Rantss last blog post..Fun Friday – Test Your Geek Factor
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July 25th, 2008 @ 6:10 pm
Dude, that is effin’ creepy! For real, yo. She probably IS cuddling with that doll right now. That’s crazy.
I don’t think I could have lasted that whole time. Especially since she actually played with it and it didn’t just sit there on her bed. What a FREAK!
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July 25th, 2008 @ 6:18 pm
That. Is .So.Creepy.
But I did have a teddy bear my boyfriend gave me that I kept on my bed and near my pillow at night. It had both eyes though. And I never wore pigtails or cutesy pj to bed!
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July 25th, 2008 @ 10:06 pm
…
…
For real? I don’t know what I’d do if I met anyone carrying around a doll. I’d probably tell her this was the honor’s dorm not the special ed. :-/
Madisons last blog post..The Tattoo Debate
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July 25th, 2008 @ 11:17 pm
So did Cindy Brady ever get teased by the other girls on your floor? DId you stand up for her? This is so funny! You can surely milk a few more blogs out of this one.
Living with her was a lesson for you. 1. how to tolerate people who are very different 2. how to hold your tongue and be a nice person 3. what to never let your daughter grow into.
Texan Mamas last blog post..Did you see me today?
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July 25th, 2008 @ 11:50 pm
she sounds like quite a charmer. did you ever wake up to find the doll standing over you? did you ever see that twilight zone episode with telly sevalis (the kojak guy whose name i just slaughtered)…with a creepy doll…that is what this post reminded my of…and now i’m not going to be able to sleep…
thanks. a lot!
hey…hi!! it’s been a while!
melissas last blog post..The Weekend, A Poem and A Not So Bright Blogger…
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July 25th, 2008 @ 11:50 pm
Hah, hah, that’s some funny stuff, well written…..
My youngest just had to switch rooms because his college roommate was a pothead….
I’ll send him your post so he can so how weird it COULD
have been….
lol
thanks for the post
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July 26th, 2008 @ 12:27 am
Wow. Now that is creepy. Real. Creepy…Really.
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July 26th, 2008 @ 1:31 am
If my son hates his roommate when he moves in to his dorm in 3 weeks, I’ll just have to say, “Does he have a creepy one-eyed doll? No? Then buck up!”
Jenn @ Juggling Lifes last blog post..Overheard
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July 26th, 2008 @ 4:18 am
Dude. I had a freaky flatmate once, but nothing NOTHING compared to that!
Kelleys last blog post..Dear ‘Concerned’
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July 26th, 2008 @ 6:48 am
BEYOND FREAKY
and it’s still dark outside here.
heebie jeebies are commencing.
MizFits last blog post..S.L.A.P. and the Power of Personal Catchphrases.
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July 26th, 2008 @ 9:00 am
I wish my roommate in college would have warned me before dropping his pants while changing. I just happened to look over and caught a glimpse of his one-eyed creeper.
It was as traumatizing as it sounds.
Badass Geeks last blog post..In Which I Go To Boston
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July 26th, 2008 @ 10:11 am
SWMBO sleeps with a one-eyed creeper.
lceels last blog post..Confession is good for the soul
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July 26th, 2008 @ 12:10 pm
Oh. My. Gosh. Some people have MAJOR issues! My stuffed frog has both eyes and runs around totally naked! What a freak your room mate was. Sheesh!
Renes last blog post..My Funny Dad, Harry – Karen Arlettaz Zemek
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July 26th, 2008 @ 12:43 pm
Oh my gosh!! That is freaky!! You did way better than I would have. I would have chucked that doll in the dumpster and blamed it on the crazy roomie next door!!
One reason I am not sad I missed out on the college dorm life.
Heathers last blog post..I Finally Saw Batman AND I Have a New Boyfriend!!
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July 26th, 2008 @ 1:48 pm
We would have gotten along just fine as roommates. My orange stuffed bunny had both ears, both eyes, and no mange.
Rees last blog post..Visit with the Goldens
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July 26th, 2008 @ 3:42 pm
Wow, that is some creepy stuff. I wonder if it sleeps between… oh wait, what am I thinking? Like there’s a husband in the picture. haha.
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July 26th, 2008 @ 7:28 pm
I love that your advertisement today is for a creepy little “life-like” baby doll. Nice.
Annas last blog post..We Think We Can Dance
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July 26th, 2008 @ 7:50 pm
Holy crap. You are braver than I.
I would have been transferring outta that room in a second.
Yikes.
Maureens last blog post..White Powder
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July 26th, 2008 @ 9:12 pm
I love that you stayed in the honor dorm to “Get your nerd on.” lol That’s hilarious! The doll…I just don’t know what to say. That girl needs some therapy. Seriously therapy.
AND, I can’t look at that Chucky picture without peeing in my pants.
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July 26th, 2008 @ 9:31 pm
I sooo want to know the name of that doll.
My first college roommate was **RuthAnn from Jersey. She peed her bed every week and ate entire pizzas in her bed. That is all.
**her name was not changed**
OHmommys last blog post..A (private) Letter to my First Born Child on his Sixth Birthday.
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July 26th, 2008 @ 9:33 pm
That’s just freakin’ weird!
Karens last blog post..Saturday Shots 7.4
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July 26th, 2008 @ 11:56 pm
This cracks me up! makes me think of my MIL… she could never figure out why my babies wouldn’t fall asleep in her room… for one thing she has a whole wicker bookshelf full of creepy Chucky dolls! Eek! I can’t fall asleep in that room either… I don’t see how that’s a soothing place… and then directly in front of her bed are a slew of crucifixes… one so large that it looks like it was stolen from a church! Don’t get me wrong… I like to think I’m a Christian but the thought of having a huge reminder of that awful scene is just not something I want to wake up to every morning. Blah.
amandas last blog post..Creative Concealment
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July 27th, 2008 @ 8:04 am
I have this insane fear of dolls…that would not have sat well with me.
kristas last blog post..daddy done wrong
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July 27th, 2008 @ 4:03 pm
My daughters have a doll like that. But “Psycho Baby” has been relegated to the bottom of their doll basket. I guarantee neither will be toting it off to college.
hokgardners last blog post..The only child
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July 28th, 2008 @ 7:53 am
That is truly the most bizarre thing I’ve heard in some time. WTF?
Tell me – did you find the one eyed, balding old man? ;o)
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July 29th, 2008 @ 10:35 am
Kudos for you for sticking it out.. I would have had nightmares that her or her doll would slice my head off at night.. creepy.
Kims last blog post..Leo-Licious Randomness
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August 7th, 2008 @ 3:57 pm
Ooooo, that’s creepy!!! Wow!
Danielle-lees last blog post..Celebrity Girl Crush
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