Privates: Remodel or No Remodel? Ugly or Natural?
- April 9th, 2008 4:20 pm
A while back, I posted this gemstone about grooming for the privates doctor. Since I only received two emails telling me I wasn’t very proper for discussing such things, I think it’s okay for me to move along with the following topic. After all, most of you responded with your thoughts about the issue, and didn’t seem the least bit appalled. And I thank you kindly for that. (By the way, so long as we’re discussing whether I’m proper or not, I might add that I’ve never claimed to be the epitome of or a model for what one might deem as ‘proper’. Further more, what is ‘proper’ and what isn’t is quite relative. But enough about this..)
On to the real shebang:
Recently, my attention was once again caught by a tiny tidbit in Glamour. The article the tidbit accompanied was called, ‘You Want A Prettier What?’. I’m pretty sure the title says it all.
In short, it discussed people wanting to have their bellybuttons completely removed from their bodies, butt implants, labiaplasty, toe shortening or lengthening, shoulder lipo, and belly button reshaping.
First, I want to put out there the fact that while I am not likely to participate in any sort of drastic cosmetic surgery, I under that people do. I don’t have really have an overall opinion about it. It’s six one way and half a dozen the other to me. Additionally, I say ‘drastic cosmetic surgery’, because I once had two moles removed for cosmetic purposes. While that wasn’t a total booby overhaul or a belly button removal, it was still cosmetic.
But completeremoval of the belly button? Seriously?
Can you imagine if one of your friends was like, “Hey, Sally-Jo-Whats-her face, I’m going tomorrow to have my belly button removed!” You might be a little taken back.While the belly button serves no purpose after a birth, voluntarily having it removed strikes a strange chord with me.
But who am I to question belly button removal?
Anyway,
Beneath the portion of the article discussing labiaplasty was a question answer session with men about vaginas.
The question was, of course, “Hey, guys: Is there any such thing as an ugly vagina?” And I was all geared up to read the responses. To me, privates are funny looking. I wouldn’t call them ugly, just natural. At the same time, there are plenty of people that deem them just plain ugly
The men Glamour interview claimed a variety of things:
A character named Jay said,
I really can’t imagine what would make a vagina hideous. Let’s face it, genitals are kind of weird-looking to begin with.”
I’m with you on that Jay. They are pretty funny looking.
The next gentlemen, calls himself Brian and says,
All vaginas are beautiful. If there is a place made by God, it’s a woman’s vagina and it ought not to be messed with.
And well, while I like Brian’s positive attitude about vaginas, I have to admit that to me, it was a creepy sort of statement. As the owner of a vagina, I appreciate Brian’s support. But still.
On to Ravi,
Men usually don’t care about how a vagina looks. They’re thinking only about how good it feels.”
ugh. Ravi, Ravi, Ravi. Why did you have to go there? You could have just said the first sentence and then walked off. I hope your girlfriend’s mother sees this. Or even better, your grandmother.
Finally, Marc says,
No way! My advice to women is to love your vagina for all its uniqueness, splendor and glory. But if I had to make a choice about what constitutes the ‘perfect’ vagina, I would choose for it to be in the shape of the New York Jets Logo.”
Oh, ladies and gents, if you are not familiar with such a logo, I know that you are dying to google image it as we speak. Fortunately, I have saved you the trouble.
I’m assuming Marc means the football in the picture, and bless his heart for providing a visual aid.heh.
Privates are pretty funny looking, and I suppose any part of the body is funny looking if you think about it long enough.
As far as remodels go, I understand that some women do have to have this procedure due to medical necessity. However, the article discussed the fact that some women are undergoing a labiaplasty simply because they desire a “more perfect” vagina. Really? REALLY? A more perfect vagina?
If that’s your thing, dwell on it, I guess.
I suppose if I had to have any of the procedures, and I mean, HAD to or DIE in a pit of lava while being simultaneously eaten by piranhas. I would have my second toe shortened on each foot. It’s always bothered me that it is longer than the first. I suppose that in the same way something so trivial as toe lengthbothers me, an ugly vagina is bothering someone out there.
What are your thoughts? Are privates ugly? hideous? natural? gorgeous? Do you want to swim in a pool of them like Ravi? What if you HAD to have either butt implants, toe lengthening/shortening, shoulder lipo, or belly button reshaping or else get thrown into a pit of lava? which would you have done?
April 9th, 2008 @ 4:29 pm
If the belly button reshaping came with a free abdominoplasty (tummy tuck) I’d totally do it.
But keep all sharp objects away from my vagina, I don’t even like going to the ob/gyn, I just do it for my health.
Lisa’s last blog post..My hands have blisters
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April 9th, 2008 @ 4:54 pm
I’d gladly take some boobies.
I’m pretty happy with my vagina, and vaginas in general. I think the only reason to consider having something done down there is if there’s some sort of lack of clitoral feeling. Then I think that’s probably a necessary medical procedure.
That’s just me, though.
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April 9th, 2008 @ 5:09 pm
Weeeeelll, when you put it up against dire circumstances, I might get a tummy tuck or a boob lift. haha.
I agree with you on privates. They all look plain goofy to me. Isn’t that how the phrase ‘bumpin’ uglies’ was coined?!
Mine? Well, I’ve managed with it so far, and I don’t have to look at it myself, so why would I bother changing it now?
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April 9th, 2008 @ 5:10 pm
Butt implants? Oh nooooooo. I’d like a reduction there, please.
I have to say that my feet and my belly button are my two favorite body parts. Vanity run amok, I’m sure.
A year ago, I would have said, Who even cares about what female parts look like? But then I had a baby, and now I’m thinking that I would like them to stop looking so ‘after baby’ and look more like they did before, thank you. I feel like an essential part of me has been ultimately disfigured or something.
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April 9th, 2008 @ 5:26 pm
Belly button removal is weird, but then I think belly buttons are sexy. Anyway-the whole labiaplasty thing is a mystery to me. Who goes looking for comparison? It’s never occurred to me. I understand Laura’s situation (I had c-sections so I haven’t been in her shoes), but being an OB nurse and having seen more than my share of before and after vaginas-I don’t see a lot of difference. As far as visually, they all look the same to me.
Honeybell’s last blog post..How Old Am I?
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April 9th, 2008 @ 5:35 pm
I am completely laughing at your post. Very witty and amusing. Love that you posted the NY Jets logo. Definitely saved ME from the google thing!
Beth from The Funny Farm’s last blog post..I’m proud to call her.. FRIEND.
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April 9th, 2008 @ 5:36 pm
Definitely tummy tuck. Having three kids has definitely hindered that area!
I can’t believe people are really having their belly button removed – WTF?! I hope I never live to actually see someone sans belly button. Talk about weird!
SherE1’s last blog post..Sleeping
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April 9th, 2008 @ 5:39 pm
Hey, as long as it works…
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April 9th, 2008 @ 5:40 pm
I’m fine with my vagina…and my toes are almost all the same length…but I think it’s cuter than most toes I see anyways…That, and I’m SUPER short. People without bellybuttons remind me of AlIENS on tv! If you MADE me (or else be thrown into a pit of lava) have something changed, I think I would get a nose job. Mine is too big. AND…after a few more kids, I’m thinking I will need a tummy tuck or something. HONESTLY, I’d rather just use the money for a personal trainer though so I don’t have to go under the knife…
By the way…I think pornos are why ppl are comparing with each other’s vaginas. That’s my guess…
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April 9th, 2008 @ 5:44 pm
Good gravy, I feel like such a virgin here. Who knew you could have work done on your privates! I can’t imagine scheduling that appointment.
I just think natural…
Melissa’s last blog post..Could Use Your Thoughts…
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April 9th, 2008 @ 5:44 pm
It would look so strange for someone to not have a belly button. What’s that about?
How do these girls even know what their vaginas look like? It’s not like I prop my leg up in the bathroom mirror after my shower and study it every morning. If you don’t like the way it looks, then stop looking at it! That one is simple enough to do. It’s not like it’s right on your face to see everytime you pass by a mirror or window.
I’m not against plastic surgery. I think that it is an unnecessary expense and unecessarily putting yourself in possible danger. But I’d consider it if I had the unnecessary money.
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April 9th, 2008 @ 5:45 pm
I think I’m fine with the natural state of my cha-cha, thank you very much. As for gratuitous plastic surgery, I’d probably get the toe thing. On another note, why would someone want their bellybutton removed? Wouldn’t that look really strange?
Jen’s last blog post..Very Bad Cat: A Blog Review
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April 9th, 2008 @ 5:48 pm
Vaginas are uuggglllyyyy.
Maria’s last blog post..I Can’t Believe in God
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April 9th, 2008 @ 6:38 pm
Talk about keeping it “real”. lol (Love this blog!)
Although I trim and keep everything “neat” in the private area, I do find that I get carried away when I know I’m going for my annual. ROFL
As far as altering body parts, I have to admit that I’d like a bigger “rack”.
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April 9th, 2008 @ 6:40 pm
Toe shortening, like you, second to on each foot, but then only if it was completely free, completely painless and completely necessary so that I didn’t die of whatever disease it could cause.
My girl parts? From the angle I can usually see them, I’m content and definitely want as few sharp instruments near them as possible because that’s how I am.
Belly button? As in Kyle XY? Wow. People really are interested in that?
Maggie’s last blog post..Spring, Revisited for the First Time
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April 9th, 2008 @ 8:05 pm
Genitals are ‘meh’ for me. I don’t really have an opinion as to what they look like.
As far as belly buttons go? They most certainly DO serve a purpose after you’re born! When I was in the military we had regular (pee) drug testing, and instead of giving you a cup and instructing you to go to the bathroom and close the door, someone had to WATCH YOU the entire time. Do you know what kind of stage fright that gives a girl? Well, if you ever find yourself in that situation, tickle your belly button and VOILA! The pee will come out. Tickle for a trickle. Bwahaha.
I never thought I would even CONSIDER cosmetic surgery, but now that I’m *ahem* getting older and gravity is taking effect, I’ve started to think about it a little more. Nothing out of the ordinary though. I don’t like my fingers, they are short and fat, but I would never consider having them lengthened!
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April 9th, 2008 @ 9:03 pm
I guess I haven’t seen enough privates…but I think we’d all know ugly when we see it…I think it’s like a train wreck…you don’t want to look but you have to…
Rhea’s last blog post..What the bleep?
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April 10th, 2008 @ 4:48 am
I HAD NO CLUE ABOUT ANY OF THIS (the labiaplasty) until Dr 90210 a few years back (thanks E! for keeping a MizFit current).
I cant even think about the PAIN that must be during healing…
MizFit’s last blog post..*blowing protein-packed kisses to the MizFits*
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April 10th, 2008 @ 7:03 am
They are a little *odd* looking. But that’s ok.
Sister Honey Bunch’s last blog post..I Was A Pregnant Bride. (And I Wore White.)
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April 10th, 2008 @ 7:51 am
Wow! I have really enjoyed reading this (and the other linked post as well).
Yes, people do have all sorts of strange and unnecessary surgeries, most of which I would never consider (although boobs I would – go figure). Anyway, I just wanted to point out that many cultures have held people with a longer second toe in high esteem. It is supposed to be a sign of advanced intelligence. I like mine.
Now, if they have a surgery to make my shoulders less boney…. (kidding, I’m kidding. Mostly.)
Wendy’s last blog post..Mix And Match
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April 10th, 2008 @ 8:19 am
Boobs, stomach, thighs = would love to have them tightened, lifted, reduced. Willing to to go through the pain? Childbirth 4 times was enough pain. Willing to exercise? Not really. Willing to stop complaining about them? Never.
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April 10th, 2008 @ 9:09 am
I have to lean on the side that genitals are ugly. Boobs and asses are best when accented nicely with clothing not to be seen bare. It’s like that Sex/City episode when they razz Charlotte for not looking at her privates with a mirror. AGH!
TRACI’s last blog post..Digging Around In The Nightstand
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April 10th, 2008 @ 9:10 am
Who on earth thinks their bellybutton is so ugly that it needs to be removed?! Don’t they realize that doing that puts them on a whole new level of weird looking? I’ve heard about a lot of different plastic surgeries but never that one!
If you had asked me this question about a year ago I’m sure I would have said a boob-job. Honestly I can’t think of one thing even if forced, that I would want to do. I can picture how afterward, people would say “oh you look SO much better!” and then I would wonder how truly horrible I looked before. Then I would want to get more done. I’m rambling. No plastic surgery for me. We’ll see if that opinion changes in the next 10 years.
For now I really love going to the gym and seeing how exercise changes my body.
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April 10th, 2008 @ 9:29 am
Hahahaha… this makes me LAUGH!!!! A) Belly Buttons= WEIRD. Did you ever see that commercial where peoples belly buttons were singing? It freaked me out! B) My second toe is longer too- you’re not all that weird! And if you are- I am too. C) “Bumping Uglies” is all I have to say. I personally think a Penis is the funniest looking thing ever- Sorry- there is just no “sexy” abou it. Don’t even get me started on Va-jay-jay’s
Kalyn’s last blog post..Photos of Phun
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April 10th, 2008 @ 10:00 am
When I was young and in the Marines (and, fortunately, never drunk enough) I wanted to tattoo my penis with lands and grooves, in imitation of a bullet that’s been fired. Happily, today it is unmodified. Which is the way I prefer my women. However God made you is fine for me. You ain’t ugly – not in any part. BUT – there’s always a but – if you’re going to do ANYTHING, either shave it completely or let it go natural, but please, please, don’t do the ‘landing strip’ thing. I HATE that. Commando or natural. Commando is great – I can just get right to it. Natural is great, too – I’ll pick may way through and I’ll find it, eventually. But no strip. Please.
lceel’s last blog post..More BM and a Start
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April 10th, 2008 @ 12:42 pm
I am addicted to Plastic Surgery Before and After…please, get a fake belly button..with out one it’s so alien looking!
The vag..Oh come on, you would need to be totally deformed to want to get that messed with..Personally, they are weird looking..what would a “pretty one” look like? No..NOT the jets logo…
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April 10th, 2008 @ 12:52 pm
The belly button removal is SO weird to me. Belly buttons are cute! geez.
I’m sure I could find something to have lipo’ed, to avoid the pit o’fire.
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April 10th, 2008 @ 1:25 pm
Hold me over lava and out of those choices, I’d get the shoulder lipo. My shoulders are 5 yards wide (used to swim and was a lifeguard) because my fat has overcome my muscles.
But COME ON. Belly button REMOVAL?
You forgot to mention anus bleaching. Yeah. It’s for realz.
A Whole Lot of Nothing’s last blog post..She’s Gonna Kill Me T13: 4.10.8
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April 10th, 2008 @ 3:32 pm
No belly button is either (a) alien or (b) tired of removing belly button lint.
If you held me over a pit of lava/pirahnas, I would go for the shortening of the second toe, but maybe you would be too late and the lava/fish teeth would get them first!
uh…anal bleaching…wtf???
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April 11th, 2008 @ 8:17 am
There is just so much wrong with so much of that. Removing one’s belly button? Why? No, really, why?
And don’t get me started on vagina surgery. How much time do you spend looking at your own va-jay-jay? I guess if you think you need elective purdifying surgery, way too much.
Burgh Baby’s Mom’s last blog post..All the Kids in the Pool, Please
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April 11th, 2008 @ 11:28 am
I guess my first question would be…. do people really… like spend a lot of time looking at their vaginas in the mirror??… who knew??
My second is.. If they get their bellybutton removed, where will they put their piercing??… Maybe no bellybutton is some kind of “Kyle XY” phenomenon…
Just wondering…
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April 11th, 2008 @ 1:43 pm
Only because it sounds like the least painful, I’d say belly button.
I think privates are ugly. I know, not very mature of me, but I’m not proper OR mature.
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April 11th, 2008 @ 3:42 pm
I possess a certain amount of ‘body issues’ but I just can’t fathom what it would take to REMODEL my goods.
Pretty Lush’s last blog post..Standing Back
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April 11th, 2008 @ 4:48 pm
You had me rolling with this post!! So funny! I have to say, if an ugly vag is your only physical concern, then GO YOU! I wish I was secure enough in my body overall to be consumed with worry about the way my vag looked! I, for one, would definitely take liposuction first and then a boob lift/ implants LONG before I would come close to caring about changing my vagina. But I suppose neither of those was a choice.. too normal. So I’d probably take the toe shortening. I definitely don’t want to get eaten by pirhanas in lava. Ouch.
BTW, I agree with you, they all look strange. Not something I would get worked up over. And anus bleaching just sounds horrendous. Who is sitting there in the mirror, deciding their anus is too dark?? REALLY?!?! That is so seriously beyond me.
Jaden’s last blog post..Food, food and more food!
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April 12th, 2008 @ 8:39 pm
There’s a book by Toni Morrison in which one character is viewed as being marked by the devil for not having a bellybutton. Just thought I’d throw that out there.
And bloody hell, I can’t see the damn vahjayjay . . . it’s the same way I view my big ole arse. Out of sight, out of mind as far as I’m concerned. Let him worry about what it looks like.
Also, I feel like the people who actually have this surgery for non-medical necessity reasons are probably in the porn industry.
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April 13th, 2008 @ 1:32 pm
Umm… I might have to choose the pit of lava. Seriously, if you need cosmetic surgery (ie cleft lip) then I’m all for it. If you don’t, then I think it’s vain and ridiculous.
Kate’s last blog post..Postsecret
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April 14th, 2008 @ 7:01 pm
I would have some extra fat sucked out of my squishy-Jello-Momma belly & re-implanted into my I-nursed-all-my-children boobs.
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April 18th, 2008 @ 3:07 pm
I would guess that most men feel the way Ravi do. Honestly.
As for which weird surgery I would have…a calf muscle lipo. I know, it’s not on your list, but still. I have shapely calves. Too shapely in my opinion. I’d like them to be a bit smaller so my knee high boots will be a little more comfortable.
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April 21st, 2008 @ 7:24 pm
I’m glad I’m not the only one with second toes longer than the “big” toes.
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January 17th, 2009 @ 9:13 am
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