Most Humiliating Baby Names of All Time & Pseudonyms
- April 6th, 2008 3:32 pm
Sometimes I wish that when I first started this blog I had given my husband and daughter code names, maybe something ridiculous like the Ginger and the Snotzy or my husband and the kid. I guess I would have thought of some incognito code name, but when I started writing this, I was fairly certain that I would be the only person that ever read it. Since I know their names, this didn’t seem like an issue for me.
When people do have nicknames for their children, I’m always curious about how they managed to spin up the appropriate pseudonym. So if you have them for yourself or your child, how did you come up with them?
Is it hard for you to keep it all real while using pseudonyms? Are you ever like, ” then *insert random pseudonym* said something hilarious today, and then he/she jumped over a rainbow while riding a tyrannosaurus rex.” Totally joking about this whole paragraph, just for the clarification (sort of).
On a completely separate, but partially related, note:
Recently, I was reading an article discussing the most humiliating baby names of all time. The names were genuine, legal names reported in Census reports over the years. Some of them made me roll on the floor with laughter, and some of them made me feel worlds of sorry for the people stuck with these names.
- Acne Fountain
- Mary A. Jerk
- Ima Whore (I am so serious that this was on the list.)
- Fanny Whiffer
- Harry Pitts
- Lard Mooney
- Naught E. Bishop
- Leper Priest
- Kathryn E. Coli (born 1894)
The following are prank names that were used by Bart Simpons on the Simpons, but have actually been documented as the true legal names of individuals once existing.
- I. P Freely
- Oliver Clothesoff
- Anita Bath
- Hugh Jass
- Mike Rotch
- Maya Buttreeks
- Amanda Hugginkiss
I suppose if I had to be stuck with any of these names, I would probably pick Amanda Hugginkiss. Since my name is Amanda already, and my last name begins with an ‘H’.
If you had to be saddled with any of the names in the lists above, absolutely had to, which would you pick? Would you go for a raunchier, more humiliating name for the comedic effect or the least damaging of the list?
April 6th, 2008 @ 3:45 pm
I’m going to have to do with none of the above. I like my name just fine the way it is.
My favorite name of someone that I actually met was Eileen Back. You might have to say it out loud, but that one cracks me up every time I say it.
April 6th, 2008 @ 4:40 pm
Ima Whore?
Anita Bath?
Damn.
Maria’s last blog post..Rape is wrong. Right?
April 6th, 2008 @ 4:45 pm
Ima Whore gets my vote LOL!
I knew an Ida Ho once, not kidding.
Karen MEG (Pomtini)’s last blog post..Fashion Friday: Marathon of Dance
April 6th, 2008 @ 5:14 pm
I think I’d go with Oliver Clothesoff. it sounds very Mike Myers.
Solomon Broad’s last blog post..The “Things I’m Grateful For” April Contest
April 6th, 2008 @ 5:50 pm
As a nurse on an OB unit, we’ve had some seriously messed up names for babies. It took me an hour once to talk a lady out of naming her child “Meconium”. Normally I don’t say anything but, um, meconium is the medical term for a baby’s first few bowel movements.
Honeybell’s last blog post..Creepiest / Coolest Photoshop Job Ever
April 6th, 2008 @ 6:28 pm
Too many good ones to choose from!!!
In middle school my friend Candice went by Candy and her when her mother re-married they wanted her to take her step-father’s last name…so she became Candy Flossin…..
Laura from the Fringe’s last blog post..Hope her need is greater than my need for $1.00
April 6th, 2008 @ 6:31 pm
Kathryn E. Coli. Most definitely.
Ashley’s last blog post..wake up call
April 6th, 2008 @ 7:15 pm
Ima Whore. Because at least it would be true.
RubiaLala’s last blog post..Birthday Wishes
April 6th, 2008 @ 7:36 pm
ha!!! I used “monkey” and “rascal” — I used to use their real names, but then I got all weird about it. I tend to be an anxiety case — without warning. So, it’s healthier for me. Though I have been known to write their real names by accident — people have called me on it.
I love Ima Whore. It’s totally hawt.
True story: my friend’s grandfather’s name is Harry Ball!!! And, my father met someone named Iona Kok!!!
Haley-O’s last blog post..Do You Want to Hear More About My Love Affair With My Gym? Or, Less?
April 6th, 2008 @ 7:40 pm
I am known by tons of nicknames. Friends call me one name, co-workers another, different family members call me different names. Madison isn’t my real name at all. It’s a family name.
I’ve passed this on too. I always give my friends nicknames, they aren’t cruel ones though.
In high school, I knew a couple people that were named “Kochenhor” pronounced Cock-an-hour. I swear that I never once heard anyone make fun of them.
Madison’s last blog post..Welcome To Wyoming!
April 6th, 2008 @ 8:34 pm
I couldn’t pick any of those names. They are all awful.
As for my bloggy names I call my daughter TLP or the little princess because I am paranoid. My husband I call Thad because it stands for the husband and daddy. Again paranoid.
janethesane’s last blog post..Dance Party Friday
April 6th, 2008 @ 8:39 pm
Okay lady… I must tell you…
Ima Whore is the name of a lady in our town.
Her children’s’ names are Tuesday Whore and Wednesday Whore. Can you guess what the middle name is? JEAN! IMA JEAN WHORE. Sadly, this is a totally true story… my husbands grandparents use to drive their bus. We also have a rather large family of “Butts,” too. I believe the grandfather was Harold, but people called him Harry. Le sigh… just thought I’d tell you that I actually know the Whore family.
Jessica’s last blog post..Baby talk..
April 6th, 2008 @ 9:09 pm
Oliver Clothesoff just makes me laugh.
Beth from The Funny Farm’s last blog post..For All Posterity!
April 6th, 2008 @ 9:23 pm
I have heard the most foul names for babies.
Chlamydia (I kid you not)
Far out, someone wanted to call their kid meconium? That’s foul.
Anja’s last blog post..I’m back - bitchy as ever.
April 6th, 2008 @ 9:37 pm
I would SO take Naught E. Bishop in a HEARTBEAT!
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April 6th, 2008 @ 9:45 pm
I literally knew a Mike Hunt (say that fast!) when I was younger.
And, you forgot the Hoggs. Ima & Ura. Their dad was mayor of Houston.
Anglophile Football Fanatic’s last blog post..Back in Black…erm…Brown
April 7th, 2008 @ 12:12 am
My mom swears she met a “Shithead” once.
I named my girls “The Boss” and “Trouble” b/c it’s self-explanatory.
A Whole Lot of Nothing / Angie’s last blog post..Read What YOU Wanna Read
April 7th, 2008 @ 12:55 am
laughing my guts out. thanks for the hard laugh! i would take the Kathryn E. Coli name. he he. funny post, kathleen
so grateful to be mormon’s last blog post..another first phone call! thanks sue!
April 7th, 2008 @ 5:07 am
I once had a business relationship with a man named “Leekie Butt”. TRUE!
If I had to pick one of those names it would be Oliver Clothesoff, but you could call me Olivia
I also knew a boy in school named “Pasquale Chicaticola”. No innuendos, but fun to say.
April 7th, 2008 @ 5:43 am
I had a great comment but am now entirely distracted by the comment about regarding LEEKIE BUTT.
REALLY?!
My dad had a friend named Harry Back—but thats nothing compared to the L-Meister.
Carry on.
M.
MizFit’s last blog post..Monday Facetime.
April 7th, 2008 @ 6:26 am
I like Oliver Closeoff myself.
On my blog my sons are Linus (has a thing for his blankie) and Stewie (well, if you’ve ever seen Family Guy, that sort of speaks for itself)!
Naomi (Urban Mummy)’s last blog post..Blog Hiatus
April 7th, 2008 @ 7:24 am
Oh, FUNNY!
My kids have very, very simple pseudonyms (The Girl, The Boy and The Baby) because calling them anything else just felt forced.
The name “Iona” runs in my family - a lovely old Scottish name. Unfortunately, when combined with our last name, it would make a very, very rude name indeed.
Beck’s last blog post..My Favorite Person in the Whole World.
April 7th, 2008 @ 7:35 am
I think I’d like to be Lard Mooney, because that’s just so random and weird. Really, people are so cruel with baby names. I girl I went to high school with named her child “Clishay”. She’d heard the word “cliche” and didn’t know what it meant but thought it sounded pretty… Poor child.
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April 7th, 2008 @ 9:14 am
I so needed this laugh on a Monday morning (I have been slow catching up with my fav blogs!!) I would have to go with Oliver Clothesoff .. that just made me giggle.
Kim’s last blog post..Helping or Hurting?
April 7th, 2008 @ 10:26 am
I liked my own name until I was 5, visited the zoo, and learned that their elephant shared my name. Yuck. Then I grew up and had 4 kids, all of whom were given beautiful family names. They didn’t have to go to the zoo to decide they had terrible names. So our blog names all come courtesy of Nascar. I would have called us the Pseudonym family, but who can spell that every day?
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April 7th, 2008 @ 10:32 am
I call my daughter my Nina. It’s Spanish for girl…. not that there’s any Spanish in our heritage.
My son goes by Lover Boy in my blog, because that’s what he is. I’d considered other names, but they felt funny - and these just ended up sticking.
Have you regretted publishing your daughter’s name for a specific reason?
Soliloquy’s last blog post..For Mommy’s Eyes Only
April 7th, 2008 @ 11:37 am
I went to school with a girl named Pepsi. And I know a girl who named her daughter Aurorabella (just the first name). I so badly wanted to ask her about the evil stepsisters.
Jenni’s last blog post..Catch Up
April 7th, 2008 @ 12:18 pm
Ima Whore. If the shoe fits..ya know?!
I always wonder about the people who have pseudonyms for their family names on their blogs. Most of them have cute ones that match their theme. Wouldn’t work for mine. None of my family is very nice! haha
Nissa’s last blog post..Wedding afterglow
April 7th, 2008 @ 12:44 pm
I use pseudonyms to avoid a certain family member. They still my find my blog, and if so, life goes on. I did go back to using my own real name though, I got tired of funky mama. Their nicknames on my blog are their nicknames IRL (except DH), so it doesn’t feel forced. The Princess is QUICK to tell you that she is, in fact, The Princess.
As for the names you listed, I choose Oliver Clothesoff, just because it’s awesome. I always cracked up over Amanda Hugandkiss though. “I need Amanda Hugandkiss!!!”
cyndy’s last blog post..Get off yer high horse!
April 7th, 2008 @ 12:50 pm
(clicked on your Topmomma pic)
I used nick names once I found out that people can track you and trace you down to where you live if you comment on their blog. You never know with people…
Mine are Bubby, Sissy & Big Daddy.
nice blog btw *s*
April 7th, 2008 @ 4:06 pm
I know someone who named their kid Coe (co) Pilot!! Isn’t that horrible…
That list is too funny!!!
April 7th, 2008 @ 4:07 pm
sorry the address to my blog was wrong!!
It’s right now, thanks!!
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April 7th, 2008 @ 5:05 pm
I wish I had chosen code names for my kids too…some of the ones out there crack me up and I spend a lot of time laughing through people’s posts.
My kids totally love the Simpsons prank calls. They repeat them ALL THE TIME!
Rhea’s last blog post..My journey for self-discovery had to begin with dirt under my nails
April 7th, 2008 @ 5:15 pm
Kathryn E. Coli, for SURE! My maiden name was bad enough. I can’t imagine having parents who give a kid a horrible name ON PURPOSE!!
marlee’s last blog post..Guess I Set My Hopes a Little High…
April 7th, 2008 @ 6:06 pm
Dont forget Willy Stroker who is a TV…erm…personality??? I dunno… A screen cap of the poor guy can be found if you search google for Willy Stroker TV.
Sy’s last blog post..I miss…
April 7th, 2008 @ 7:00 pm
I used nicknames to help keep a tiny slicy of anonymity, however I know it’s not foolproof. I use “Candy Ass” for my husband, which, oddly enough, might just make it all that more obvious who he is.
As for the kids, I just use the nicknames we use at home.
April 7th, 2008 @ 7:44 pm
Hi…just clicked over from your comment on Lotus’ site, and after reading this post, I had to ask: Have you seen this website?
http://www.notwithoutmyhandbag.com/babynames/index.html
It has a MILLION funny, crazy baby names that you won’t believe. Had me in stitches for days.
Also, my college roommate’s (much younger) cousin was named REL. Because her parents thought that the Little Mermaid had a pretty name. That’s right…R…E…L. Oy vey.
Oh, and I’d totally go for Kathryn E. Coli, as it is obviously the most intimidating name on that list.
Makes me think of GiantMicrobes.com.
Nice post!
SusanB’s last blog post..Eggs’n’such
April 7th, 2008 @ 11:12 pm
you crack me up…and those names are hilarious!
i often think i should have made up some pseudo-names for my little family…maybe on my next blog.
i am not creative enough…i would need to enlist some help.
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April 8th, 2008 @ 12:22 am
Hmmm, difficult decision. I like Mike Rotch (though I’m not male). My hubby claims to have known a Harry Dick. Gotta love it!
kasper’s last blog post..What a glorious day
April 8th, 2008 @ 7:19 am
Oliver Clothesoff. Because that’s may favorite state.
lceel’s last blog post..More BM and a Start
April 8th, 2008 @ 8:46 am
I have 3 kids. The oldest ones nickname is Beanie because when she was a baby I used to say I was wrapping her up like a little bean burrito. The second is a boy and his is Bubbie(no, we are not southern rednecks) or Dude and the last is a girl that we can Whoogie because she was always pulling her shirt up and we would say Whoo Whoo.
April 8th, 2008 @ 11:39 am
I have a friend whose blog I read every day. She has pseudonyms for her children. I accidentally called her baby by his internet name- that’s partially the reason I use Maddie’s real name.
I think if I HAD to choose a name, it would be Anita Bath. Simply because I love bubble baths and that is my guaranteed alone time.
April 8th, 2008 @ 2:17 pm
Ok….I’ve never posted here, but linked to you from another blog. I HAVE to say, in our town I’ve heard of a Lollie and Soda POPP. Seriously. Oh, and in a neighboring community, there’s a car dealer called Richard Head (ummm…..Dick Head??)
I call my kids son #1 and son #2, because although it would be pretty easy to pick apart where I live and such, it is still a paranoia thing……
Shelly’s last blog post..Follicle Follies
April 8th, 2008 @ 3:30 pm
There was, in my 4th grade class, a small hispanic boy named “Speedy Gonzalez”. This is a verified fact, since my grandmother was a teacher at my school and I asked her to show me his birth certificate.
Arriba! Arriba!
B’s last blog post..Pseudonyms
April 8th, 2008 @ 6:10 pm
Acne Fountain? Really? Wow.
I’d probably have to go with Amanda Hugginkiss too. I’m not for the raunch. How could people really do that to their kids?
Ashlee’s last blog post..A Little Bit of This and a Little Bit of That…
April 8th, 2008 @ 8:34 pm
I am thinking I would like Twat. After a guy I went to high school with (I have a post about that somewhere in my drafts…)
My kids are Moo, Too and Boo, damn wish I thought to use pseudonyms… and my husband is MPS - Mario Porn Star, after the horrific Movember incident.
Kelley’s last blog post..Just give me the freaking envelope asshat.
April 8th, 2008 @ 9:27 pm
My FIL’s initials are HOR… I have yet to work up the nerve to taunt him about that. My kids’ nicknames are Mumika and Bucket. So long ago, I can’t remember how these started.
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April 8th, 2008 @ 10:08 pm
I would choose Oliver Clothesoff. It’s perfect. Oliver is a family name, so I think even a girl could use it.
I refer to my family very creatively on my blog as Husband, Son, and Daughter. I’ve thought about nicknames for them. I think I would do something simple, like give them both the 2nd choice names that they didn’t get in real life. Or I might use their real life nicknames. My Son would prefer to be referred to by his self-dubbed Pirate Name, but I personally find Sir John Pirate Badguy Racecar far too long to type every time.
MommyTime’s last blog post..Questions for the Universe
April 9th, 2008 @ 2:47 am
I often wonder if I shouldn’t have ever used my kids real names on my blog.. mostly because one day when they are teenagers they will kill me for making public some of the things I have… but too late now!
We use nick names that they get called at home - Muski was called Muski by the Twinadoes before he was born, before we knew if he was a he or a she and it has just stuck! Hey my whole blog name is a nick name we call our kids LOL
As for bad name.. oh man there are some bad ones out there. I went to school with a girl called Esther Worster… and Sky Blu which always made us giggle!
April 9th, 2008 @ 7:37 am
I would definitely be Amanda Hugginkiss as well.
As for pseudonyms, I knew when I started my blog I wanted to use them, but I also knew I didn’t want to use actual every day names that I might use in confusion in real life as well.
I decided on Star Wars names for my boys (Count Dooku and Obi Wan) since they’re such big Star Wars fans and went with Angel girl for my daughter, since she already had that nickname around here.
Summer’s last blog post..7 Truths and 1 Lie, Answer Revealed
April 9th, 2008 @ 9:28 am
I once waited on a guy named Brick Wall. I thought he was kidding and then he handed me his credit card to pay. Who does that to a kid??
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April 9th, 2008 @ 10:59 am
I’d choose Hugh Jass - LOL! That one cracks me up!
SherE1’s last blog post..Sleeping
April 9th, 2008 @ 2:25 pm
Maybe Lard Mooney? Lol!! Sounds funny.
Meagan’s last blog post..Girls night.
April 14th, 2008 @ 7:04 pm
How about twins named Limonjello & Oranjello.
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April 17th, 2008 @ 11:50 am
OMG! I followed your link over on another blog. I am still kind of new to blogging but I had to go check this out. Those names are unbelievable and Honeybell, meconium for a name? Seriously? I think that is the craziest name I have heard yet.
April 18th, 2008 @ 3:13 pm
Ya know, I was tempted to pick Maya Buttreeks but when it comes right down to it…Ima Whore just fits better…don’t ask
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April 23rd, 2008 @ 2:47 pm
I really like Ima Whore.
The names Lemonjello and Orangejello weren’t on these lists, but if I ever have twins those are the names they’re getting.
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