Scrolling Saturday!
- January 19th, 2008 9:35 am
My post for Scrolling Saturday this week is basically about me a loony tune when the school nurse used to come around doing tests. 
Enjoy a peek at my old paranoia. Also, if you’d like to participate in Scrolling Saturday you can find the information and Mr. Linky here.
Title: Scoliosis, Lice, and Camel Toes
I used to be anxious about the strangest things as a child. When I was in both elementary and middle school, the school nurse would come around once or twice a year to do various checks on students. I’m not sure if this was common for all school systems, but it was for mine. If you came to school, you were getting checked. They basically just checked for lice (YIKES!) and scoliosis (DOUBLE YIKES!). Still, it was quite creepy to have some woman come in and run her latex covered hand down your back and dig through your scalp.
The funny part of it is that I remember always fearing that while I had absolutely no symptoms of lice, the nurse might magically find them in my hair. Then I’ would have been totally be outed as a lice-haver. A lice-haver. That’s right. The nightmare of most elementary aged children along with their parents. Because they would totally out the lice-havers. They wouldn’t come back into the classroom, because they’d be taken to the office to call their parents. So you always knew who was infested.
Once in kindergarten I did catch head lice from my babysitter, she had super long blond hair. I remember how pissed my mother was when after the girl babysat us her mother decided to tell mine that she currently had head lice. My mother was basically fuming. Honestly, I never had a babysitter with long hair after that. Not that hair length necessarily matters with scalp feeding lice, but to my mom, it was a stop sign.
Additionally, I feared that my straight spine might seem somewhat contorted when she came in and it would be discovered that I had scoliosis. Scoliosis is way more serious that lice, and isn’t really something to joke about. But I’m serious. I really thought she’d find that I had it. So when she came to check I would stand as straight as I could, and the whole time I would sit there and ask, “I don’t have it do I?? do I?? huh?? do I?”
It seems that I was similarly irked when I would go to physicals and such and they would issue hearing tests. It was so damn tricky when they put those headphones on you while expecting you to listen for barely audible beeps and report the ear from which you heard them. I always thought they were trying to trick me. The beeps were so sneaky!
Wow. I was such a little conspiracy theorist. It’s humorous– now. Was it just me? Was there a lice checking nurse at your school?
Really, I still feel eerie at check-ups. Like going to the gyno, I always think they’ll find something bizarre when I know I’m healthy, or at least I think I am. Maybe it’s just me…
PS. If you can easily channel your middle school sense of humor and are in need of a good laugh, I recommend you check out this song about Camel Toes. Seriously. I almost peed on myself. I should not even be admitting I laughed at this, let alone link it. But it’s too funny.
January 19th, 2008 @ 10:25 am
i remember those checks!!! hilarious post. my sister’s best friend, btw…her pants…always camel toed…ALWAYS!!! i can’t even look at her for fear of laughing!!
i’ll be back!
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January 19th, 2008 @ 10:44 am
The nit nurse at my school was called Nitty Norah the Hair Explorah. She was very rough, too. It’s no wonder I don’t like my head touched now.
Solomon Broad’s last blog post..Saturday 19 January
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January 19th, 2008 @ 11:05 am
I think that maybe we are long lost cousins or something.. LOL
Secret Agent Mama’s last blog post..Project 365 (148ab/365) | Photohunt
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January 19th, 2008 @ 5:18 pm
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