Run Vern, Run!!(The Hijacking of a Short Bus)
- January 16th, 2008 4:21 pm
Warning: You might feel like this is a piece of fiction due to the ridiculous nature of the story. However, I promise it is indeed true.
When I was in high school, a boy called Vernon dreamed up a scheme adorned with brilliance. You see, 14 year old Vernon decided that it would be in his best interest to run away from home.
(I should warn you that Vern was not sharpest knife in the drawer.)
Now, you’re probably thinking yada yada yada who didn’t want to do that at some point in their adolescence? Wait though. It’s worth it. Because what you might want to find out is the mode of transportation ol’ Vern chose for his escape.
You see, Vern picked a yellow School Bus, and it was a short one at that. How much more discrete of a run away vehicle could you get?
One morning Vern schemed his way into the the bus lot (probably squirming his wiry body through a 1/2 inch gap in the fence), hopped on the short bus (which probably had the keys inside of it), and took off.
Yes. It really was as simple as it sounds. Vern wasn’t a bright boy, and had there been some sort of obstacle obscuring his path, he probably would’ve turned around and headed home.
Following the hijacking of the short bus, Vern decided he would go pick up his best friend, Joe. The cohorts decided they would runaway somewhere exotic..like Japan or the local Burger King. Mind you, I’m sure when you’re on a short bus at 4′o’clock in the morning a lot of things make sense. *insert eye rolls*
However, suddenly this well thought out scheme went awry. You see, much to Vern’s dismay, Joe’s parents would not allow him to go out gallivanting into the pale moonlight in the a.m. I know. I’m sure you’re just as shocked as poor Vern was.
And around that same time, the police had been called about the missing bus. Apparently, people notice that sort of thing. s
The loss of his runaway partner didn’t stop Ol’ Vern though. He just turned his bus around and at some point became engaged in police chase. Yes, m’am. A police chase. with a short bus. in a tiny town.
85 lb. Vern (who had a full beard at the time) was under the impression that he could outrun the police in a shortbus. Don’t be fooled though, he did manage for the chase to play out for about 10 minutes until his mother called him and told him to come home. And well, he did.
Simple as that.
The local Newspaper’s version of this story was rather factual according to everyone but Ol’ Vern. The best part of this came when one day on a computer at school, some friends and I stumbled upon a story he had written as a review of the event. The opening line was, and I quote, “I was walking down the road one day minding my own business….”, and the story ended with, “who cares about the law? i don’t.”
Oh,Vern.
I mean…isn’t that how all short bus hijackings start? with someone walking down the road minding their own business? When I’m walking down the road minding my own business, I am always tempted to hijack a shortbus. It is clearly the most logical choice at 4 a.m.
January 16th, 2008 @ 5:51 pm
oh yes, clearly…a taco short of the family meal!!!
btw…kick me…and hard…i meant to give you an award, that i just got…go get it…i’m editing my post and including your name!!! oh…i’m SUCH A SCHMUCK!!!
xoxo
January 16th, 2008 @ 6:22 pm
The 2008 Bloggies let me cast my votes for my favorite top 5 (out of 10, I think) Best Humor Blogs.
You were in the running, Hot Stuff!
Hope ya make it!;)
Mwah, Alli
Alli ~Mrs. Fussypants’s last blog post..Fussy Makes a Beautiful Earring Display
January 16th, 2008 @ 7:11 pm
Too funny! Thanks for sharing! I love HS stories!
Laura from the Fringe’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday - Busy Lives!
January 16th, 2008 @ 7:14 pm
Oh My….now that’s “special”. I can’t believe his opener too..what a moron….
Sandy (Momisodes)’s last blog post..Begging 101
January 16th, 2008 @ 7:25 pm
hahaha, i opened your site, seen the title and knew exactly what you were talking about. i laughed so hard thinking about and remembering hearing about it in school, i almost peed on myself. lolol.
jess’s last blog post..I love monkeys!
January 16th, 2008 @ 7:45 pm
that’s hilarious! and i went to highschool with someone i could TOTALLY picture doing that!
cate’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday - it was a bit windy last week
January 17th, 2008 @ 3:18 pm
Wow! Hard to believe there are ACTUALLY people like that out there. Helloooo!
Haley-O’s last blog post..Fantasy Island, Sleeping Bunnies and Celebrity Models
January 17th, 2008 @ 5:31 pm
I guess a firetruck wasn’t available.
Melinda’s last blog post..Talking about motivation
January 17th, 2008 @ 5:43 pm
I can’t think of a time when I was less proud of my moniker. Not all Verns (or Vernons for that matter) are a few bricks short.