Ode to My Messy Husband
- January 14th, 2008 9:31 pm
Warning: this seemingly nice poem contains language not suited for people who can’t handle vulgarity. 
Pick up your shit!Yes, I mean you.
Pick up your socks.Pick up your shoes.
Pick up your plates,your bowls, and your glasses.
I’m pretty serious. Don’t you half ass it!!!
I’m not the only one with a set of legs and arms.
And don’t you get to thinking this is womanly charm!
This me angry over what is clearly mundane!
The toothpaste on the sink, the hair in the drain.
Food left on dishes, not giving them a rinse.
A variety of things that (to me) make no sense.
But when you were a lad, a hired lady came to clean.
Picking up after you, making not even a scene.
Perhaps that’s why you have such slovenly habits
you expect to drop something, and let someone else grab it.
But I’m not your cleaning lady, and I’m sure as hell not your maid.
And until you hire one for here, I wouldn’t count on getting laid.
Now I am fatigued from crafting a rant quipped with rhyme.
Clean up after yourself–or your ass is mine!
Amanda H. ©2008
January 14th, 2008 @ 10:25 pm
LMAO!!!!! Oh my…..may please forward that one off to hubby?? that was hilarious!
“And until you hire one for here, I wouldn’t count on getting laid.”– bahwahahahahahahaha!!
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January 15th, 2008 @ 6:26 am
Oh my, that’s brilliant! I think I need to print that out right now and tape it to hos bathroom mirror before he wakes up
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January 15th, 2008 @ 7:23 am
OMG! That was awesome! You could do women a favor everywhere and put that in an ecard. That’s priceless. Good job!
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January 15th, 2008 @ 8:24 am
i think that we’re married to brothers!! my hubby grew up with a cleaning lady at their home…and, he is the EXACT same way!!!
love it!! love love love that poem…and, i’m not offended by the fu.king language. not one he.. of a bit!!
xoxo
January 15th, 2008 @ 9:51 am
OH this is one for the fridge!! I love it!!
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January 15th, 2008 @ 10:39 am
That poem kinda sounds like me…pffft.
January 15th, 2008 @ 1:51 pm
Was that written for my husband???
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January 15th, 2008 @ 5:30 pm
lolol. you’re a great poet. i love this.
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January 15th, 2008 @ 6:18 pm
You have one of those too, hey?
My favorite thing is that the husband doesn’t rinse his toothbrush off. Ew! So there is always white slime covering it, the class it sits in, and the counter underneath it. Seriously, can you not take two seconds to rinse off your effing toothbrush so I don’t have to clean off the concrete-like toothpaste from every imaginable surface?
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January 16th, 2008 @ 1:18 am
Humm…i’m thinking the whole family needs to hear this one! I don’t get it. But I love that you expressed it!!!!!! Great work!
January 16th, 2008 @ 1:21 am
PS…with a few changes made of course! LOL - forgot to put that part in….oops!
January 16th, 2008 @ 7:33 pm
bravo! bravo! (can you hear my uproarious laughter and rumbling applause?)
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January 21st, 2008 @ 8:41 am
Manda, this little poem of yours woke me up this morning. Did the hubby read it? Has it made a difference? By the way, I love the new design of the blog. Miss the old one just a bit but this one rocks. As my boy would say - git jab! that’s good job. Also, having seen a photo of you on your site, I actually think the woman in the logo looks very much like you.
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