Scrolling Saturday & Photo Hunter
- January 12th, 2008 12:00 am
Once again, I’m participating in Scrolling Saturdays which involves finding an old entry in archives and reposting it. I’m starting with entries that I thought were funny, but didn’t seem to get enough love from you all. 
The One Where I got Stabbed By a Toothpick:
Last spring, I was walking through the carpeted living room in our old house picking up Allie’s toys. She had been sleeping for about an hour or two, and I could no longer deal with the toy infested mutiny that was my floor. (Honestly, sometimes I feel like Mario when he’s in the level where you have to consistently hop from mushroom to mushroom in order to survive. Well, that’s survival in my living room.)
Anyway, I guess to really envision how this was working you have to know that when I walk around my house picking things up, I am a speed walker to the third power. With that in mind, I was barreling through my carpeted living room at full speed when all of a sudden I felt a sharp, pinching pain in my big toe. Also, I felt as though I had stepped on something. Either way, I screamed like a rabid hyena. Then, I looked down, thinking to my myself, “hey? I wonder if what I stepped on is still beneath my foot? What the hell was that anyway?”
To my surprise, what I had stepped on, a red toothpick, was not beneath my foot. Instead, it had completely penetrated my big toe. Now, my big toe is pretty wide. It’s also pretty meaty. Stupidly, I tried to pull it out at first. Because Adam was at work and I was home alone.
it was a toothpick… GOING. THROUGH. MY. TOE!
In the end, I had to go to the emergency room and have it surgically removed, which was funny both then and now. I mean, it’s not everyday you are impaled by a toothpick. I sort of laughed the whole time. The pain wasn’t all that bad. Plus, it sounds like something out of a situation comedy gone awry. It seems to follow the ebb & flow of my life as it is.
To make matters worse, the toothpick was the super thick kind that you purchase to actually use for finger foods and such. And it was 100% GOING THROUGH MY TOE!!!
Anyway, the main reaction I get from this story is DID YOU TAKE ANY PICTURES? And, no, I didn’t. Honestly, while hopping through my house on my non-impaled foot all alone with a sleeping two year old, my digital camera was far from my mind. I also didn’t have time to take a picture since I waited in the ER for 6 hours to have it removed.
The second question is usually: why was there a random toothpick in your carpet? All I can guess is that it was wedged in the threads of the carpet. I mean, it was RED for crying out loud. I would have seen it if it hadn’t been hiding in the depths of the carpet just waiting to attempt to become one with my body.
Regardless, since I have no photographic mementos of the short (but seemingly long)period of time that my toe coexisted with a toothpick, I have paintbrushed a small example.
Yeah, that’s pretty much it. Moral of the Story: Toothpicks=evil.
—————————————————————————————–
Weekly Theme: Skinny
my friend Heather’s ferret. Quite skinny if you ask me.
January 12th, 2008 @ 11:09 am
Ouch. I can’t believe you had to go to the hospital for a toothpick.. I had NO idea how evil they were.. thanks for the warning!!
Kim’s last blog post..Scrolling Saturday Part Deux- Pavlov’s Dog
[Reply]
January 12th, 2008 @ 12:14 pm
We must live in the same type of house. My daughter had a toothpick impaled deep into her foot last year too! It was very traumatic to a 9 year old.
Friglet’s last blog post..What carpet?
[Reply]
January 12th, 2008 @ 2:27 pm
Oy. I still get the goosebumps when I read that toothpick story.
Indeed that ferret is skinny!
Sandy (Momisodes)’s last blog post..Get The Skinny In a Mini
[Reply]
January 12th, 2008 @ 3:22 pm
yowza! that sounds nasty…and looks nasty…at least you had nice pink toenails…according to the photo re-enactment, at least!
cate’s last blog post..Scrolling Saturday – the search for Carl
[Reply]
January 12th, 2008 @ 3:30 pm
um….ow! yowchie! ouchie!
so…who’d ya kill, after you got the toothpick un-impaled? i think, on principle alone, i would have killed my husband…
and…ferrets are so cute!!! i’ve always wanted one but, i think my cats would live in fear of their lives!
[Reply]
January 12th, 2008 @ 3:42 pm
OUCH! That had to hurt. And yet, yes, still very funny.
Only a blogger would ask if you have pictures. HA!
Kathryn’s last blog post..The First of Scrolling Saturday
[Reply]
January 12th, 2008 @ 5:58 pm
Oh Dear God. I shoot big bouncing babies out of my vagina, but yet this made me feel queasy and restless. Plus, I think I puked in my mouth a little. Thanks for the recant, babe!
[Reply]
January 12th, 2008 @ 5:58 pm
Ha Ha Ha! My son stuck toothpicks in his father’s chair cushion a few weeks ago. Daddy was none too happy when he sat down. I controlled my giggling enough to give the evil eye.
Funny, funny.
jenni’s last blog post..Scrolling Saturday: Mouth Plugs
[Reply]
January 12th, 2008 @ 9:33 pm
Holy hell in a handbasket. You need to call yourself Vlad from here on out. As in Vlad the Impaler. Egads woman. That’s the kind of clutzy I would pull. And, damn what kinda ER makes you wait for six hours to remove a foreign object? OUCHIE
Anglophile Football Fanatic’s last blog post..Take 2: Leg Shaving
[Reply]
January 12th, 2008 @ 9:57 pm
Oh my! That must of hurt! But man, what a story to tell…thanks for re-sharing!
Laura from the Fringe’s last blog post..Scrolling Saturday
[Reply]
January 12th, 2008 @ 10:55 pm
I did this very same thing about three months ago! The floor was picked up but I was walking back to my room after putting the four year old back in his bed for the ten thousandth time that night.
I didn’t go to the emergency room though. The worst part was that I was paranoid about getting a pedicure since there was still an open hole in my foot!
Visiting from Scrolling Saturday
tommie’s last blog post..Scrolling saturday….
[Reply]
January 13th, 2008 @ 1:18 am
i was actually clenching my teeth reading this…ouch!!!
i am here via scrolling saturday, i am truly enjoying reading everyone’s post tonight. its like a whole new world of bloggy goodness has opened up to me and i am desperatly trying to soak it all up!!
i will be back!
HolleeAnn’s last blog post..Scrolling Saturday
[Reply]
January 13th, 2008 @ 10:23 am
Oh no! That’s horrible! I cringed just from reading it. You handled it so much better than I would have. I am such a baby!
Great job on the graphics, btw. I love the red toenail! Look at you all talented and stuff.
Coleen’s last blog post..Scrolling Saturdays: What was the happiest moment/day in your life and why?
[Reply]
January 13th, 2008 @ 11:25 am
I cannot stop SHUDDERING!!!
(But I’m totally impressed by your graphic capabilities!!)
Marlee’s last blog post..A Haiku for My Wayward Knickers
[Reply]
January 13th, 2008 @ 4:05 pm
Ouch! that hurts just reading about it (i love the graphic). Sorry I did not delurk the other day, I spent the day listening to Phil Collins, hehe. No, actually I had no time for a few days so I came by to catch up.
The Park Wife
The Park Wife’s last blog post..The Little Black Dress
[Reply]
January 17th, 2008 @ 3:41 am
I found your blog by accident but am glad I did
[Reply]
January 18th, 2008 @ 11:26 pm
Yikes!! That sounds painful,,,but you are right…funny too!!
Alison’s last blog post..Scrolling Saturday
[Reply]